Meaplus3 Posted April 23, 2009 Posted April 23, 2009 This may sound like a very silly question but I really wish to know an answer here. How do you know when your meditating in the proper way? I went to my first class last night. and well I thought I was going to hyperventilate. The first meditation I did not get.:confused:The second relaxed me a little more. I know it's all in the breathing but how do you do it right? Also, it was so pin drop quiet and she had us do some chanting and I just about cracked up out loud. Mea:)
era Posted April 23, 2009 Posted April 23, 2009 I know it's all in the breathing but how do you do it right? I dunno...I guess meditation is supposed to relieve anxiety. But give me an ativan any day..
Author Meaplus3 Posted April 23, 2009 Author Posted April 23, 2009 I dunno...I guess meditation is supposed to relieve anxiety. But give me an ativan any day.. LOL. Yes. it is suppose to help with anxeity that's why I'm doing it. It's just that I'm not sure I'm doing it right.. you know the breathing and all. Mea:)
TaraMaiden Posted April 23, 2009 Posted April 23, 2009 Ok... I mentioned in your other thread, I would try to help if I can. First of all, we should not have a fixated idea about what Meditation is, and what it is not. The important thing is to not change anything about what you are doing. if you are 'watching the breath' then you just breathe, exactly the way you usually do. You don't have to change anything. Secondly, don't worry about how others are doing, or progressing, they don't matter. Everyone is different and this is not a sport, or activity in which you MUST do well, you MUST do well.... Thirdly, the best thing to do is to start in very short measures. When I began meditating, I never tried to do more than 5 minutes - and even that seemed like a week! There is no pressure, there is no hurry. Even people who have been meditating for many years still call it 'practice' - ! Then you know, sometimes the conventional type of meditation (sitting cross-legged on the floor, hands in your lap, eyes closed) well, you know....it does not always work for everybody. So if you feel more comfortable, you can sit on a chair, or propped up against the wall.... the important thing is to try to remain alert. I always call it alert relaxation, or relaxed alertness! In meditation we give an example of what we are trying to do. Imagine you are at the zoo, and at the monkey enclosure. You see them swinging from rope to rope, branch to branch, then they stop - but only for a second.... then they start off again! Goodness, never still, never calm... how they keep going is crazy! When do they stop doing this? The answer is, when they sleep, or when they eat. So we don't see them sleeping.... but look at what happens when they eat. They stop. They are maybe looking around, but they are still, and eating. The mind, when it is constantly active, is what we call "monkey Mind". When we sleep, we don't 'see'it. sop the way to calm your monkey mind, is to 'feed it'. This is what watching the breath does. Your mind is still alert, and "looking around" but it is still, and 'eating'. Now, in my personal opinion, counting the breath,and watching yourself breathing in and breathing out, is still making your mind too active... may I suggest an alternative? Sit calmly, and just breathe normally. Close your eyes, and be aware of your breathing. You do this all day, every day, sleeping, awake.... all the time. We are just not conscious of it! **So simply be aware that you are breathing. Look at how your body expands when you breathe in,and how it rests down when you breathe out. Be aware of how your clothing moves against your body as you breathe. Just simply know how deeply or shallowly you are breathing, but do nothing to chnage it. Your breathing may even be erratic and uneven. So what? it's ok.... feel how cold the breath is in your nose, as you breathe in, and how warm it feels as you breathe out. Feel the air passing over your upper lip....** Now, you see I have put **asterisks at the beginning and at the end of my guiding notes? do all this WITHOUT COMMENTATING.
TaraMaiden Posted April 23, 2009 Posted April 23, 2009 Sorry... it was getting a bit long... I thought my connection might go down....! All the time you are doing this sitting, try to not think - "My body is moving like this and like that" or "My breath is touching my upper lip".... Or "I can feel my clothing against my skin".... Try to do all this without running words in your mind. if a thought comes into your head, that's ok! It's your mind, it is supposed to be thinking! But if you notice your thoughts coming in, then just say..."ok, stop." and let the thought go. Leave it alone. Go back to simply sitting and 'watching your breathing', in and out..... relax. Do this for short periods, and do not get cross with yourself.... Is this helpful at all?
Author Meaplus3 Posted April 24, 2009 Author Posted April 24, 2009 Sorry... it was getting a bit long... I thought my connection might go down....! All the time you are doing this sitting, try to not think - "My body is moving like this and like that" or "My breath is touching my upper lip".... Or "I can feel my clothing against my skin".... Try to do all this without running words in your mind. if a thought comes into your head, that's ok! It's your mind, it is supposed to be thinking! But if you notice your thoughts coming in, then just say..."ok, stop." and let the thought go. Leave it alone. Go back to simply sitting and 'watching your breathing', in and out..... relax. Do this for short periods, and do not get cross with yourself.... Is this helpful at all? Tara, Yes, This was very helpful. Thank you for taking the time to explain everything to me. I bet I can swing this. It might just take a little practice. I think I did pretty good last night the second time around. I felt how I was able to relax and feel the power of just the simple focus of my breathing. As for the monkey mind, that's funny because my instructor brought that up and explained it the exact same way. Thanks again. Mea:)
knaveman Posted April 24, 2009 Posted April 24, 2009 Sorry... it was getting a bit long... I thought my connection might go down....! All the time you are doing this sitting, try to not think - "My body is moving like this and like that" or "My breath is touching my upper lip".... Or "I can feel my clothing against my skin".... Try to do all this without running words in your mind. if a thought comes into your head, that's ok! It's your mind, it is supposed to be thinking! But if you notice your thoughts coming in, then just say..."ok, stop." and let the thought go. Leave it alone. Go back to simply sitting and 'watching your breathing', in and out..... relax. Do this for short periods, and do not get cross with yourself.... Is this helpful at all? Pema Chodron nailed this one for me. When we find ourselves getting lost in thought, recognize it at "Thinking" and continue meditating. Don't judge your thoughts as drifting or wrong or even good, only as "Thinking" Then get yourself back on track. Also, Mea, I know you aren't Buddhist but if you are getting into meditation you may want to look at Thich Nhat Hanh. He's a Vietnamese Zen monk and his methods of meditation were the first ones that really made sense to me. I think the book I read was called the Miracle of Mindfullness.
TaraMaiden Posted April 24, 2009 Posted April 24, 2009 I will tell you something you may notice. to begin with, you may find your practice gets worse, not better! No matter how much you try to sit, and breathe, and calm this monkey mind, you will find it seems to be increasing, not lessening! This will be so frustrating! But listen - this is not only to be expected, but also - really good!! It shows just how much you are actually paying attention to this process. Believe it or not, your mind is always this active. It's just that this time, you are actually paying attention to how very chattery it is. We simply never think about just how much we think! But when we actually pay attention, it seems impossible to stop it. Please don't worry that you are doing it wrong, or that "Oh goodness, I will never be able to do this!" Yes, you will. But it takes persistence and patience. Patience with yourself, because you are making good effort, and patience to let this process just take its time and progress calmly. You cannot hurry this, but you must keep going. You will meet obstacles. Discomfort, distraction, the temptation to think about other tasks you "should" be doing.... No. Just sit. This is your time. You deserve it, so take it. However short, however long.... And yes, knaveman is very correct. Thich Nhat Hahn is a Buddhist Vietnamese Zen Monk, but I am not trying to convert you or convince you to follow this. Please, do what you want to do, and just enjoy what you learn. Other books by this monk, on meditation, include "Peace is every step" and "Present Moment, Wonderful Moment". He is very good. And he does not try to convert you either! Just enjoy the instruction. No pressure or anything, to do anything else. Please believe me, this is not my objective. I wish you well. If you need any further input, I would be very happy to help.....
headlesschicken Posted April 24, 2009 Posted April 24, 2009 if you're wondering if you're doing it right, you're doing it wrong. try to let go of your expectations of meditation bringing you anything, giving you anything, changing your moods. it's something that happens, and the more you look for it, the more likely you are to miss it!
NINEBREAKER Posted April 24, 2009 Posted April 24, 2009 meditation is done properly when you are relaxed and in a dreamy state. there are many diffrent postures for diffrent styles. make sure you keep good posture. back straight is in most meditation styles
wuggle Posted April 24, 2009 Posted April 24, 2009 I just use the word "STOP" when meditating, have done for years, wonderfully simple, the best way of stopping 'you' listening to 'you' (so that you can listen to the rest of the universe) is to simply shout "STOP" when you hear yourself thinking. Do it often enough and it becomes a lot easier. Eventually you learn to listen to yourself and shut up.
NINEBREAKER Posted April 24, 2009 Posted April 24, 2009 I just use the word "STOP" when meditating, have done for years, wonderfully simple, the best way of stopping 'you' listening to 'you' (so that you can listen to the rest of the universe) is to simply shout "STOP" when you hear yourself thinking. Do it often enough and it becomes a lot easier. Eventually you learn to listen to yourself and shut up. i use the words NO MIND. it worked better for me. diffrent forms of meditation suit diffrent people. i use a form from japan that came from ninjitsu and karate
wuggle Posted April 24, 2009 Posted April 24, 2009 Gave up on martial arts after many years, realised they were as much part of the problem as not, All that concentration on form to achieve a state of not thinking about form so the form flowed naturally without thought, actually distracted from the fact that the form itself was irrelevant. Take it back a notch takes you to philosophy and religion (which is where most master martial artists end up anyway), take that back a notch and you arrive at the conclusion that there is no religion or philosophy, there is just what is..... STOP - sorry where was I , sort of got lost there. Anyway why use 2 words, one will do.
TaraMaiden Posted April 25, 2009 Posted April 25, 2009 If I may be permited to say so, this thread was begun by someone who is only just setting out on this practice. It is all very new to her, so perhaps talk of method, martial art and religion is not necessary right now.... Meditation is not about being in a 'dreamy state.' If you are in a dreamy state, this is not conducive to right concentration. Religion in meditation is irrelevant. The main focus is simply to still the mind... But yes, Mea, occasonally, having a signal word, to bring you back to what you are doing, is helpful. You have these words that wuggle and NINEBREAKER have given you. For me, the word 'focus' was helpful..... enjoy!
wuggle Posted April 25, 2009 Posted April 25, 2009 Sorry Tara , I feel so told off. I have to ask, as that is exactly what she would have done, are you Geishawhelk reborn ? she used to talk like that but sadly haven't heard from her in such a long time.
Author Meaplus3 Posted April 25, 2009 Author Posted April 25, 2009 are you Geishawhelk reborn ? she used to talk like that but sadly haven't heard from her in such a long time. LOL. I was thiniking the same thing. Thanks everyone for the info here. Lot's of good tips for me to practice. I realize this is something that takes work, but I'm willing to put in the effort. Mea:)
TaraMaiden Posted April 26, 2009 Posted April 26, 2009 I actually have absolutely no idea what you are saying.... _/l\_
wuggle Posted April 26, 2009 Posted April 26, 2009 I actually have absolutely no idea what you are saying.... No problems, There was a poster on here called GeishaWelk who suddenly stopped posting just before you seemed to start. I Really liked her, her advice was often very good. She was a buddhist and 'talked' in a very similar style to you. I know she was becoming a bit disillusioned with various trolls and just thought it might be you. The 'Say no more' was a reference to a Monty Python sketch, which she being english would have got. You would have liked her
jellybean Posted April 28, 2009 Posted April 28, 2009 I actually have absolutely no idea what you are saying.... You are not GeishaWhelk???..but but...oh nevermind
TaraMaiden Posted April 28, 2009 Posted April 28, 2009 I don't know what else to say! There is no such member for me to see.... I cannot compare us! _/l\_
Author Meaplus3 Posted April 28, 2009 Author Posted April 28, 2009 Just a little update here. I am getting the hang of meditation. I know this because I now feel relaxed afterwards. And I no longer feel as though I might hyperventilate. I stopped sitting in the traditional pose, and now I sit in a way in which I feel comfy and it's working for me. Mea:)
TaraMaiden Posted April 28, 2009 Posted April 28, 2009 This is wonderfully positive, Mea! How is your monkey Mind?? Are you finding the calmness extends into other times, when you are not meditating....? Maybe your friend will see the difference soon! (of course, this is not the object of the exercise... we do not meditate for others....! ) _/l\_
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