Does My BF still care about his ex???? someone

[Brodie123]

Where to start? My boyfriend of 3 years has recently been in contact with his ex again. They dated for 7 years and on the third week we were dating she showed up at his barn and starting telling me that they had slept together the night before on his parents livingroom floor! He denied it and said she was psycho.

 

Well I have to admit that unfortunately he did start seeing me before breaking it off with her. But I think she's nuts and cant let go of him. He did go back and forth between us that first year telling me that she would have to be involved in his life and breakup with me then come back to me and then finally it stopped and he chose me. One of her friends said it was because she stopped seeing him. Either way he chose me. Yes they started a business together that she used her contacts to get him jobs but then he went on after he left her and made it to over 1/2 mill that year we started seeing each other. Then I find out thru his checks that he was giving her money. I raised hell and the checks stopped. If she is psycho why is he giving her money?

 

Well we have been together and he bought land and built a beautiful home. (unfortunately I heard she helped draw up the plans with him) although he denies it, the plans were drawn at the builders where she worked. We have started a life up here at the new place and I dont live with him yet but he did give me a ring. He wont say its an official engagement ring and we havent set a date but everyone has been told by me that its official.

 

So this easter his phone gets a text and I look at it and guess who was sending a happy easter text, the ex. So I call her and say hi how are you and she says fine how are you, then i asked did she just text him and she says yes i did. I say how often do you talk to him is it weekly and she says well I wouldnt say on a daily basis but we do occassionally talk to each other. Then she has the nerve to say why is it a problem, can you believe? then i told her that he didnt ever tell me anything. Then she said well have a good easter and said you too and we hung up. Of course when I asked him about it he denies talking to her. According to her they talk occassionally. So now Im thinking has this snake been in the background all along? I do know she loves him she told me so. Something about she would always love him. How tragic right that she cant find someone else to love besides her ex.

 

I also find out several other things like he has met her several times at a mutual friends house to look at horses. They both are into the horse world and he wanted her opinion of his new horse, why cant he ask me? Then I find out also that when he ordered his big fancy horse trailer with living quarters that while he was out of state looking to buy one he kept calling her for advice on what to get. Come to find out that first year we were together he bought her dream trailer. Of course he keeps saying he is going to sell it but he never does.

 

Then I find out his best friends wife told the ex at a football game (she's still friends with the ex) that the ring he got me was a hush ring= what the heck is a hush ring? and that he had tried to break it off with me several times but that it was such a mess that it was easier to stay together. And she told the ex that her and her husband had talked to my boyfriend and told him I was a gold digger and that they knew he still loved the ex. How messy can people be??? I know the first month after we started dating he did by me some nice nice diamond earrings but that is because he was generous and kind not because he wanted to show off like the ex said.

 

I also recently found out that he is going with his ex out of state to go look at some horse she wants to breed one of her horses to. I dont know how true it is but why would he do that afterall he bought me the ring and he is with me now. its been three years we've been together, he couldnt possbily be faking it that long could he? He loves me right, not her?

 

Can someone please give me some outside advice about this?

Im hurting and dont want to loose the good man I have to this psycho ex who wont leave him alone. What do I do?

 

Thanks

[Lishy]

Errrrrrrrr I doubt she is a psycho ex at all! It seems your boyfriend is a liar and possibly a cheat too.

 

He has given you a ring and not told you its an engagement ring but you tell everyone it is, he tells everyone its a "hush ring" that is cringe!! Take the ring off, give it back and walk away!

 

He is a liar and that is a fact

 

Walk away before you get badly burned!

 

And I dont think he loves you and not her, it is you he is lying to, not her!

[scootncash]

That story sounds very similar to me except I would be in the place of the ex. I wouldnt say the ex is crazy and in fact I would say that you placed a bet on this man knowing for the first year that he went back and forth between you both.

 

You didnt say why they broke up or the reason he gave you and apparently he didnt waste time making sure someone else was there before he left her. Im not so sure I would have taken that chance with a man.

 

I do understand the capacity to be facinated by someone especially in the beginning when you put on your best persona to attract someone. Of course he put on a show for you and you fell for it hook line and sinker!

 

There were a lot of red flags for you yet you chose to ignore them! It doesnt sound like the fairy tale will last. Im not an expert and I've been hurt by a man who did something extremely similar to the point its scary but I wouldnt say its real true lasting love to have what you have with this man. I agree with Lishy, take the ring off and run!

[Brodie123]

The part I dont get is why if he is lying to me is he still with me? Wouldnt you think that he just maybe plays her because he can? Afterall, I am the woman he has been with for 3 years. Why would he stay with me that long if he didnt love me?

 

I tell everyone its an engagement ring because when I first got it he said it was but he wouldnt admit to anyone else or if they asked then he would say nothing and change the subject.

 

I was told by him that it just wasnt working with them any longer and that she wanted to get married and he wasnt ready. I would think that he would have given me the ring because he might be thinking he is ready now.

[Lishy]

If he was ready he would have got down on one knee and then shouted it to the world!

 

The man is a liar! I think you should call his ex and arrange to meet her face to face and ask her what is going on!

 

You are being played for sure

[scootncash]

You said when you called her that she was very nice and said they didnt talk on a daily basis but did talk occassionally. Why would you tell her that he doesnt tell you anything?

 

Id be willing to bet that in the beginning of the realtionship that he talked to you about everything and made you feel like there wasnt anything that you two couldnt talk about and now he doesnt tell you anything??? Doesnt sound good.

 

But, I guess if you cant get straight answers from him maybe you might could contact her and see if she would tell you whats going on.

 

But deep down inside I feel a big hurt coming your way. Guys have a way of hanging on to a girl after a bad breakup with someone they love. Its their way of dealing with all the issues and what better way to push away the pain than with a dose of fresh new relationship with all the fireworks!

 

its called rebound relationships and time isnt a factor. Apparently he isnt the outstanding man you thought he was. It sounds like he still has something for her and you just happen to be the time filler till he gets himself straight on all of his issues.

[Brodie123]

I wouldnt consider it a rebound relationship. We do everything together like a husband and wife but without the papers. I just dont understand. Or maybe I just dont want to face it.

 

I can tell you that I was crazy mad when she text him. There hasnt been anything from her in a long time. Its so hard to not believe him when I set back and look at what we have done together.

 

I know he works hard at his company and he loves his children. There not from her they are from his ex wife. Which she and I get along well and I get along well with all of his family. But his older sister did tell me in the beginning to not let him manipulate me. I did often wonder why she told me that but I think Im beginning to see.

 

Maybe I will give her a call tomorrow and see if she is willing to meet me. She did call me a few times in the beginning and we talked about what she said was going on between them but I didnt believe a word she said because I know she is a liar. He said they werent seeing each other and she said they were. So even if I do talk to her how do i know the truth when i hear it. I love him and my heart says to trust him. Why would I trust what the ex has to say anyway?

 

I gues I will call her and give an update on whats going on.

[Lishy]

When you talk to her ask her questions that will tell you if she is telling the truth or not. Ask to see her phone if she says he is calling/texting her

 

Be open minded and prepared to hear some hurtful things and most of all good luck ok?

 

Let us know how it goes

[Brodie123]

Ok, I called the ex girlfriend. This is what happened:

 

I said hello and asked her if I could talk to her openly. She said yes and asked what did I want to know. I told her that I wanted to know what was going on behind my back with her and my boyfriend.

 

She said that they were just friends and that occassionally they talked like friends do. She said that it was something they had lost a long time ago and she was happy that they didnt end up enemies.

 

I asked her what they talk about and how often. She said that in the 7 years they were together that she had been like a second mom to his children and that most of the time she asked how the kids were doing like with school and stuff. She said she loved the kids and missed them so much and that her children missed them too. Awe, too bad Im thinkn! She said sometimes they talked about horses and exchanged information about training them breeding them and what they had been doing with their lives. She said they talked about once or twice every two weeks or so and then maybe not for a while and then talk again. She also told me that they have been talking the entire time that they have been broke up.

 

I asked her if she would be able to prove that and she asked what proof would you like? I have always told you the truth behind whats been going on each time you and I were in contact. I already let you hear the voice message in front of him when he called and wished me happy birthday and told me he loved me from two years ago. I showed you his cell phone bills then with the numbers him calling you him calling me all day long but you wouldnt even believe it in front of your eyes so why should I show you proof once again when you will just call me a whore, liar, whatever vulgar things you do? But then she said if you want proof I'll meet you and show you but he isnt cheating on you with me.

 

I said well if he is calling you and has been all this time wouldnt that be cheating? She said no in the beginning when he cheated on me with you yes he was going back and forth between us telling us both lies and sleeping with both of us but thats not just his fault its yours and mine too. Im thinking at this point how can that be my fault he didnt tell me you were together. So I asked her and she said that after she told me about him seeing her too that I helped the sickness along just like she did, yea right. I told her he left you and you just couldnt get over the fact that he left you for a younger skinner beautiful woman. Can you believe she laughed? it pissed me off so bad. Then she said if that's what you believe its your choice but she said she realized that she was hanging on because she loved him so much and they had so much in common and had dreams that they had started and the same family values and that she was just making herself hurt worse.

 

Then she goes on to tell me this blah blah story about going to therapy and getting herself straight and stopping her weakness for choosing to degrade herself with trying to hang onto a man she loved when he wasnt ready to get married. Yeah a weakness alright, she is overweight and so what if she has gone back to college to get some damn degree. Who cares right?

 

I asked her why she would keep in contact with him and why was she calling him. She said remember when I came to both of you and you talked to my friend on the phone and she said he was chasing me, well I ended that and it was a fact that he was chasing me. She said she keeps in contact with him because they did love each other at one time and that it was enlightening to reach a point in yourself when you can look past the bad and still see the good and still remain friends.

 

Then she said that she would never let it get past that point of being friends because he hadnt quite reached the place he needed to be where he could respect and love and have fidelity with one woman. She said he was still too immature emotionally to handle his own emotions and feelings much less be able to take on a womans. Obviously she doesnt know him well enough because he takes care of me quite well!

 

I told her she needed to stop contacting and talking with him and that she better not see him or go anywheres with him or she would have me to deal with. She had the nerve to tell me that I had no right to try to control anyone and that if he choose to talk or see her as long as it was kept friends that it was ok with her if it was ok with him.

 

She then told me this crap story about when they got togehter he didnt have two dimes and that they worked oh so so hard to get a business going for him and that when he got lots of money and his business was a success that he changed his outlook on life his dreams his goals and that she fell in love with him when he didnt have anything and that if he lost everything today that she would still love him. I told her well I dont think he is going to be poor anytime soon and that he takes great pleasure in buying me expensive things and taking care of my children and that he would make a great stepdad. Then I dropped the bomb on her about the engagement ring. She said she already knew about it and that he had told her when she called to congratulate him that he said it wasnt an engagement ring and he wasnt going to marry me. I told her that was a lie and she said well, i guess if I were in your shoes I would think so too but then she said so when is the date? I told her we havent set one yet and she said oh well did he tell you he wanted it to be a surprise? I said yes how did you know that and she said because he always said it to me I was just too stupid to figure out that it was a delay tactic. Whatever I told her he just didnt want to marry you and she said no, he wasnt ready to marry me and obviously he isnt ready to marry you.

 

The she has the nerve to tell me that she would always love him and that he was in fact her soulmate and that she cared about him and would always be there for him as a friend because she had forgiven him long ago for what happened and that he had so many good qualities but that it was the bad qualities what few he had that didnt make their relationship work. She also said that based on his actions not his words that he had been honest about his relationship with me to her. I asked her what she meant and she said he told me that he regretted jumping in so soon with me and that he had created a monster and that he wished he would have taken more time and that it would only be with me what it was now. I told her he was just lying to her and she said well I didnt listen to what he said Im watching what he was doing.

 

I told her that she was nuts and a stalker and that this needed to stop. She told me she wasnt a stalker and after seven years even a smart girl like me should see there would be some feelings he and her would have about each other.

 

I told her I wanted to see proof because he denies talking to her and she actually said she would show me again the phone records if I abosultely had to see them but that she didnt feel right doing that because he had not been cheating on her and they were friends and she didnt think it was right to do that to him. She finally pissed me off so bad when she said this next little bit of crap.

 

She said you know you might try taming in that temper of yours and the jealousy you show. its not very becomming and Im more than sure it keeps adding to his list of reasons why you shouldnt become his wife. Maybe you need to learn to love him for what and who he is the man himself and not all the material things you see that he can get for you. if you do that then you'll be in a much better position to be the wife than to play like your the wife. I told her she was ridiculous and that she would never be the woman I am. Then that witch told me I was right that she couldnt ever be me and that why in the hell would she want to when she loves who she is and loves life and only wishes him to be happy even if that means he is with me. She had the nerve to say that his happiness meant more to her than my sickness with her. What????????????

 

I was getting sick of her little nice ex sweet girlfriend act so I told her to stay away from him or else and hung up the phone in her smug fat face.

 

Im tired of this crap, I want her to leave him alone. He is mine, Im wearing the ring and who cares if the wedding set he bought her was bigger than mine and insured.

Who really cares? What good is it to try and make me feel bad about her nice big insured ring when she doesnt have the man to go with it anymore.

 

Please tell me your thoughts about this pscho insane stalking ex girlfriend and please give me advice on what I should do? Should I confront him?

[sotired]

Um...Pull the wool off of your eyes!

 

She is not a psycho!! You are the delusional one at this point. She talked openly with you, gave you the proof you need and you STILL chose to deny it??

 

Your boyfriend is a lying tool. There is no way around it. She was smart enough to figure it out and move on with her life. I don't think she's clinging to him, I think she is just friends with him and after 7 years together I think she knows him a heck of a lot better than you do.

 

How could you be with this man knowing the things she told you? Your engagement ring is just a "hush ring"...no date set...he is just stringing you along. Who knows why, but who else would be naive enough to fall for his lies. He cheated on you when you first got together with her and still denies talking to her when the proof is in your face. I think she was trying to show you what a douche he really is once she saw the light.

[D-Lish]

I still chat with my ex husband occasionally- just a friendly how are you via e-mail that either he or I initiate. Neither of us would get back together- we aren't in love anymore. But we did spend 8 years together, so sometimes we still have friendly exchanges.

[scootncash]

Well, this is quite the drama! Movie material maybe to be seen on the Lifetime network.

 

But seriously, I cant say that he loves her but I can certainly tell he doesnt really love you in that capacity thats needed to reach AND maintain a committed relationship. Apparently there is something there to keep him for a while but honestly, looks fade, bodies gain weight, and only the soul of the person you choose is left behind. Hopefully you pick someone that you can talk to and share the small things in life with. In the end its only your love that you have left. It isnt all the diamond rings and other material things that you seem to really care the most about. Im not trying to offend you but what do you love this man for? What is it about him that makes you stay? Security? Material Things? The nice home? I havent once heard you talk about him the way that his ex girlfriend does. I think that she loves him in a deeper and more meaningful way and I think she does it graciously. I think she let him go and move on with her life being satisfied for what she had. Gosh I wish I could walk away from a relationship with that much lesson learned.

 

I agree with the last person who posted. She isnt psycho. Sounds like she is a lady who has been deeply hurt, knows that he is the one she will always love, cared enough to end the story on a good note, and gracious enough to be considerate of your feelings for him. She is willing to be satisfied with what she had with him at one time and treasures that deeply.

 

Honestly, If I may be frank with no intention of offending you but it doesnt really sound like you love this man for who he is like she said. I think you want him for security because you insecure of who you are and it makes you dependent on him so much that your willing to keep him at all costs. Do you really want to keep a man under these conditions? Are you that willing to throw yourself away?

 

I think that maybe he is beginning to realize exactly what he did loose and how stupid he was and immature and scared of committment. He quickly settled for you before he ever ended it with her and based on the back an forth issue he wrestled with it for a while. Im not saying Im taking her side but he didnt even give you two an honest chance. She certainly must be important to him in some sort of way because why else would he stay in contact with her or maybe he just cares about her and wants to make sure she is doing ok.

 

Try reading 10 stupid things couples do to mess up their relationships by Dr. Laura Schlessinger especially the chapters #8 Stupid Liaisons and #9 Stupid Mismatch. i think you might gain some real insight to whats going on inside you and why you want to hang on to this man so badly.

[Kaii]

~You got a ring, but he refuses to call it an engagement ring.

 

~He won't set a date, but says he wants it to be a "surprise".

 

~He built a new house, but you don't live there.

 

~He still talks to his ex and even cheated on you with her throughout the entire first year of your relationship.

 

~He still has frequent contact with the ex even though you have made it known how you feel about it.

 

~It seems that his best friend's wife is on the side of the ex, not yours. That should tell you something.

 

Stop looking at his words. Yes, he tells you that he is no longer in contact with her...but what do his actions say? His actions say that he is in contact with her for horses, work purposes, talking on his cell, etc....

 

I don't think this woman is a psycho, she seems quite level headed for someone that invested 7 years into a relationship with your bf.

 

"Denial just ain't a river in Egypt", my friend.

[mental_traveller]

The part I dont get is why if he is lying to me is he still with me? Wouldnt you think that he just maybe plays her because he can? Afterall, I am the woman he has been with for 3 years. Why would he stay with me that long if he didnt love me?

 

Lol. No offence but you don't seem to understand men very well. He is with you because he gets a relationship and sex while having ex-sex on the side, and you let him get away with it.

[2sunny]

leave him... it's that simple. first off he lies. secondly, the need to get info from the ex instead of him is a huge red flag that something very big is wrong. where's the healthy communication here? also, the ring IS designed to keep you quiet and to make it APPEAR that he's committed to you. HOW'S THAT WORKING OUT? i would say the ring represents pretense in your relationship.

 

he's not giving you the security (emotionally) that makes YOU comfortable - so leave him. learn to be happy BY YOURSELF, then you will know what you need from a man in order to be happy WITH a man. knowing what you will and won't settle for is part of the process of happiness. he may be great in a lot of ways - but he's also a liar and a cheat.

 

YOU have control over what YOU do - not him. if you aren't getting what you need out of the relationship then move on. if you are selfish - YOU will stay and put up with the crumbs he thinks you should be settling for. if you want to use him for what he can give you material wise that is just sad for both of you. that is selling your soul for material stuff.

 

he's a cake eater. look it up - he's a cake eater. he expects that this is ok to treat both of you this way.

 

if it's so bad and all you want to do is complain about it - then why not leave?

 

if you choose to stay - then sit back and be quiet! he's telling you by his actions that this IS the life you should expect from him. love it or leave it.

 

i'd leave. his sense of entitlement and ability to hurt the one's he says he loves without any regard for their feelings is very narcissistic. unless you can learn to be happy with things being like this for the years you are together.

 

you posted here for advice - let's see you address the good direction that people here are willing to give you instead of more complaints and evidence that shows what a jerk he really is.

 

are you staying or leaving? that is the question.

[Lishy]

I smell a rogue post here

 

I would bet that the OP is infact the ex girlfriend writing to see what we all think about the new girl

 

I could be wrong but a hurt woman would not write this way

[LucreziaBorgia]

The way I see it - you are making yourself the type of woman to escape from, and with her sweetness and light - she is becoming the one he escapes to.

 

The harder you fight to keep this, and the more venomous you get in attacking her, the more likely it is that he will ditch you for her.

 

It sounds to me like he only sees you as a temporary fixture though, while she will remain a constant one regardless of what sort of relationship he has with her.

 

Your choices are limited: deal with it, or leave. I doubt any ultimatum or demand would work to make him want to cut her off.

[Brodie123]

Wow! Thanks for all of the advice. I took a long weekend off to think about everything. Im trying to make sense of it all. The hardest part is that I do love him but its hard not to skip the lies. I know I deserve better but you have to understand where im coming from.

 

when you meet someone who has everything you desire and can give you everything you desire you begin to see forever with him. Its hard when everything is going perfect and then a bit of the past keeps popping up. I guess I tried to see thru that and i embraced that we could get past it and for a while we did.

 

But then I thought about my kids. I dont wont thenm to grow up thru another bad relationship. It was hard on them with my ex husband and they have become attached to the boyfriend. How do you rip them from that? How do I rip myself from that?

 

I mean to be honest I cant stand the ex girlfriend. I never did. He always made her seem so psycho. Why would anyone in there right mind pay attention to what she says over the boyfriend. And yet after thinking it thru this weekend, well I guess I cant ignore the trouble brewing.

 

But in the same sense i cant answer the one question that holds me here. Why would he say he loves me and then turn around and act like a married couple and help paint his house and pick the colors and spend the weekends up at his place. He lives out of state so going there for the weekend is like a small vacation and we do all kinds of things together. I am having such a hard time with that.

 

This weekend thou helped me sort through it and I am going to tell him that I think we need to take some time apart and think things thru. I need to step away and look at from another view because i know this is going to kill me. I will miss everything what we do together.

 

I've even gotten to the point that I have tape recorded several talks with the ex just so when I confront him I have proof that she says all these terrible things and yet he denies it. He always denies everything and when you look him in the eyes and what he says you fall into that trance and he makes it sound sooooo believable.

 

I did ask his ex wife, because we are friends, if he ever cheated on her. She told me yes that he had a couple times. I cant believe it. He is so charming and I just dont know if I can handle the pain. I dont know if I can get thru it but I know in my heart that nothing is worth the price of cheating. I had to ask myself that question all weekend. Whats the price your willing to pay? I dont think there is one.

 

so I will try this and see if I can be strong and like one person said be by myself. I havent had much experience with that,. I have always had someone some relationship. Im afraid alone. I dont want to be a single mom and die alone.

 

I talked to a good friend of mine and she said a lot of the things u guys are saying here. She told me that I put too much blame on the ex girlfriend and not any on my bf. I guess I didnt see it because just hearing her name drives me nuts.

 

Maybe with time apart he will relaize what he is missing and straitn him self out. If not then it will have to be his loss. But I do love him and I will miss him. I just dont know if I can handle when he calls and wants to see me but I have to think about me.

 

Thank you for helping me to see the light and to wake up see whats really happening in this relationship.

 

I'll keep you posted on whats going on. Of course if you guys have any more advice on what to do for a broken heart please let me know. Its going to be hard and I still dont know what to say to my children. Not sure exactly what to tell them.

 

 

 

Thanks

[sotired]

Men like him are the worst because they put on a good show. I have no doubt your feelings are real....but he is just telling you what you want to hear. If he was truly devoted to you he wouldn't be associating with his ex. I know you hate her....but I really think she is doing you a huge favor.

 

Good luck with everything! Take care of yourself....no man is worth this much heartache.

[Brodie123]

I know you are right but its so dang hard to see past everything good about him. I guess I hate her because Ive become jealous of her. I just couldnt get past what he saw in her. She really isnt cute and she's overwieght. Im not overweight and that drove me nuts. I even wrote down our conversations and yes there are cell phone records but I felt like she was just trying to trick me to win him back. I was just consumed by jealousy after a year of the back and forth break up with me go back to her break up with her go back to me. Ex's should be in the past not the present. It doesnt make it any easier when his friends still like her and still see her around some of the places they go.

 

But I really thought about what a high he put me on. I came from nothing and there he was smiling and deep blue eyes, offering me the world. I traveled, I ate at fine resturants, I mean I felt like a queen. I thought I deserved a good life and I still do but not at that price anymore.

 

For those of you who doubt my pain, its very real. I dont know is there a book or rules on how a woman in pain faced with cheating and lying should feel or write. Is there some type of typical way we should fall in line and deal with a situation like this. And I can bet you she would never sit down and ask total strangers for help.

 

Im still very young with a lot of life and love to give. But it also seems I have a thing for lying and cheating men. My ex husband cheated too. Why didnt I see it coming,I mean i have been thru cheating before but not this bad.

 

I dont have a college degree on my wall and I dont make tons of money. I have two very young children from my marriage and I want the best for them. I want to give them all the chances I didnt get and I thought I would be able to find love and give them everything with him.

 

You know i think if some of you ever got the chance to meet him then you would know just how charming and convincing he really is and then you would understand. I mean it was driving me to an edge id never been on before. I thought my whole future was really turning out better than I had ever hoped for. I didnt want to loose him and honestly I still dont but I have to think about my sanity along with my heart.

 

Im hoping I will find a way to make it through this still in one piece and I know I have to let go of him. I didnt mean to make anyone think i was complaining i was just getting things off my chest and hoping that others who didnt know us who could have an outside view could help. Yes I have a big problem with his ex. I dont think ex's should be friends.

 

But i will tell you this much. i think you guys helped me see things i couldnt see here where im at. Im having great moments of pain like i cant breathe and I think of him constantly and then i think ok well you can get thru this but the question remains if i can bring my heart out this as well.

[Lishy]

How are things?

[2sunny]

I know you are right but its so dang hard to see past everything good about him.

 

 

You know i think if some of you ever got the chance to meet him then you would know just how charming and convincing he really is and then you would understand. I mean it was driving me to an edge id never been on before. I thought my whole future was really turning out better than I had ever hoped for. I didnt want to loose him and honestly I still dont but I have to think about my sanity along with my heart.

 

 

 

But i will tell you this much. i think you guys helped me see things i couldnt see here where im at. Im having great moments of pain like i cant breathe and I think of him constantly and then i think ok well you can get thru this but the question remains if i can bring my heart out this as well.

 

you know, the charming ones have a way with a multitude of people in their lives... their charming ways always gets the end result they want. it's so simple for them and is so natural.

 

i'm glad we could help to at least give some different perspective for you.

 

 

things are bound to become more clear when you look at the logistics of what the situation really is.

[subdued]

My boyfriend has an ex-girlfriend and a daughter from the relationship. I don't have any issues with him going over to his ex-girlfriend's house to see his daughter. I know my boyfriend isn't interested in his ex anymore.

 

However, there have been a couple of times in which another woman has approached my boyfriend and flirted with him or tried to get his attention away from me. I get upset and tell my boyfriend what the girl is trying to do. He may not be able to tell, but I'm a woman, I can tell exactly what the girl is trying to do. I then tell the woman to get lost, which she does. Sometimes, you need to do this.

 

So what I'm saying is that if this woman makes you upset, then you have every right to protect your relationship and tell her to get lost. If your boyfriend objects, then let him object. But take action and do what you have to do to get rid of this woman (of course without violence).