Alex_M Posted April 23, 2009 Posted April 23, 2009 It's been 6 months since rough breakup. I'm at least functioning again. Going out with a girl but I can't stop thinking about Amy. Every day straight for the past 2.5 years I have thought about her. Where is it you have to draw the line and seek help? I could probably be doing more to forget but every time i go out with a girl i come home almost in tears thinking of what I used to have. Also it's been so long and I STILL want her back, that makes me feel really weak... It seems like everyone else on here feels angry and dismissive of their ex's while I feel she could have shot me, backed her car over me and called me a moron and I would still love her. There's something wrong with that right? I'm also tired of people (family) telling me how I SHOULD feel. It's probably one of the most abusive things you can do to someone mentally.
BW007 Posted April 23, 2009 Posted April 23, 2009 I think you are stuck in a stage of grief over this ex. I think you may be embracing the nostalgia of the older relationship, but ask yourself this, in all seriousness....What good has she done for you lately? Seriously....is her fleeting memory making your life better. Really, be a little selfish here, because she has moved on in life, I bet. This explanation of the grief cycle helped me and I realized I was "cycling" Stuck in a step of healing that was not letting me move on.I am still stuck a bit but it is getting a little better. Check it out and good luck. http://changingminds.org/disciplines/change_management/kubler_ross/kubler_ross.htm
UCLAMike Posted April 23, 2009 Posted April 23, 2009 i know life is way too serious and real right now. dude nothing ur going through is new or unique. i feel you i really do. i was just there where u were a month ago. i only have a word of encouragement for you and this isn't a cliche. you will get better. talk about it with whomever. let it out. you will get better.
kizik Posted April 23, 2009 Posted April 23, 2009 It's been 6 months since rough breakup. I'm at least functioning again. Going out with a girl but I can't stop thinking about Amy. Um, you should stop dating the new girl. It's ridiculous to be putting some innocent girl through your distracted, bereaved inattentiveness. I'm sorry about your ex, but it's very irresponsible to date before you're ready.
kizik Posted April 23, 2009 Posted April 23, 2009 It's probably one of the most abusive things you can do to someone mentally. Actually, that would be dating someone too soon who inevitably ends up with all your baggage.
Keelz Posted April 24, 2009 Posted April 24, 2009 I've got to say first of all that I agree with a couple of others here...I'm not trying to be nasty or anything, but it really isn't fair on your poor girlfriend. I have experienced this first hand. No girl wants to see that look in a guys face that suggests he is actually "seeing" someone elsewhen looking at her. With regards to the main subject of your post I also want to say that I really do know how you feel. Me and my ex split up 2 years ago and I still think about him everyday and miss him terribly. I have no advice because I can't get over my own ex, but just wanted to let you know you aren't alone.
musicmaker5177 Posted April 24, 2009 Posted April 24, 2009 I definitely know what you're going through. It's only been about a month for me. The breakup wasn't bad or nasty for me, it was just a breakup. She has been on my mind everyday for the past 3 years and even more now than ever. You're not alone and I wish I could give you some words of encouragement here. All I can say is just take this time to work on yourself and not bring it on another woman too soon.
hopesndreams Posted April 24, 2009 Posted April 24, 2009 It seems like everyone else on here feels angry and dismissive of their ex's When you get angry and dismissive it helps alleviate the pain of missing them so much. It's a coping mechanism even though it might not necessarily be true, it can just be a cover for how you really feel. Better to be angry and knock them off the pedestal than to mourn them by thinking how you lost someone so perfect and so lovely.
EmperorR Posted April 24, 2009 Posted April 24, 2009 Your in what I would call a "rebound relationship", I don't think your ready to date yet, funny I was in your exact same spot, and the girl dumped me and now I miss her so much but I know I don't deserve her as for half of our relationship i was still thinking about my ex. Don't do what I do, end it now or get those thoughts out of your mind and enjoy your time with this new girl don't ruin it man, im kicking myself for it. Now this time, I'm taking a break i'm not hopping into anything until I'm fully healed and over this ex, so I won't bring any baggage into my next relationship.
kizik Posted April 24, 2009 Posted April 24, 2009 she could have shot me, backed her car over me and called me a moron and I would still love her. There's something wrong with that right? Yeah, that's messed up. For some reason, you've turned this mere mortal woman into something amazing. As carhill likes to say, they all sit on the toilet the same. Don't fool yourself into thinking she's anything but just another girl who wants attention.
Chinook Posted April 25, 2009 Posted April 25, 2009 It's been 6 months since rough breakup. I'm at least functioning again. Going out with a girl but I can't stop thinking about Amy. Every day straight for the past 2.5 years I have thought about her.Okay, really now... stop with the new girl. She doesn't deserve to be hurt because of the ex. Of course she is going to be now... but at least if you leave the relationship with her, you're not stealing her time. Where is it you have to draw the line and seek help? I could probably be doing more to forget but every time i go out with a girl i come home almost in tears thinking of what I used to have.Now. Go see a therapist, get a book, post more here, anything which helps. Just do something different. Also it's been so long and I STILL want her back, that makes me feel really weak... It seems like everyone else on here feels angry and dismissive of their ex's while I feel she could have shot me, backed her car over me and called me a moron and I would still love her. There's something wrong with that right? Actually, a lot of people on here have often times been dumped and they have very quickly been replaced by someone else. Additionally, alot of people are in the early stages of a breakup (not everyone of course) and that's the rawest time. Some of us get past it where it doesn't really matter anymore and others of us wouldn't want a second or third chance if it was thrown at us..!! I'm also tired of people (family) telling me how I SHOULD feel. It's probably one of the most abusive things you can do to someone mentally.I dunno, I don't think it's abusive. People like to think they're helping, making suggestions and trying to give you a pointer of where you should be. It doesn't help because only you can decide where you should be. This post you made, asks for help. That's a start to healing. You're making in-roads to feeling better. The heart can only cry for so long before it gets tired and decides 'enough of this crap'. Then you really begin to move on.
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