fofiffs Posted April 23, 2009 Posted April 23, 2009 So i've been NC with my ex for a full week now. Thats the longest ive ever gone. So yes I really am proud of myself. I got through this whole week because I kept myself busy by work, school, and going to the gym. So anyways today I decided to stay home because I was just so worn out. This was a really bad idea because I started to go through a major relapse. It really hit me hard. All the memories I had with her and her being with her new bf. So I decided to check her myspace profile because I just couldn't finght the urge no more. It was like a drug for me today. So I open her page and BAMM..pictures of her and her new guy she only ben with for 3 weeks. What really hurt me the most was that she was saying she loves him with all her heart. I'm like what the F**K. How the hell do you love the guy already in under a month. This really hit me hard today and almost brought me down to my knees in tears. I just don't get it. She told me she would always love me no matter what and that I was everything she wanted in a man now this. At the same time I am just completely pissed and annoyed by all her lies and bullsh*t. I really hate her and I hope one day this new bf of hers tears her heart to so many pieces. I really do hope karma catches up to her soon.. Sorry for the rant. I'm just kinda pissed at myself for checking her page. It kinda set me back from moving on..
DJMarky Posted April 23, 2009 Posted April 23, 2009 This happened to me when I saw a picture of them together. It's funny. I know that she is ****ing him every night, cuddling, spooning, laughing, watching movies with him, holding hands down the street, spontaneously kissing him on the cheek, I know all this, yet seeing a photo of them can feel like a knife in the heart. I can't explain it. You had your heart ripped out, so did I. I have accepted that it is a part of life, one I thought I would never experience. I am taking it as a learning experience and hopefully when the pain subsides I will be a stronger person. How will you forget this girl if you are still checking up on her? Accept the fact she has a new boyfriend. She is going to be doing all the things associated with dating another person. Get angry, upset, whatever, but stop torturing yourself even further by looking at her myspace. Just remember, you didn't break NC. You aren't back to square one, you are just slowing your progress. Out of sight, out of mind. Stop sighting her!
Scorpio13c Posted April 23, 2009 Posted April 23, 2009 Hey fofiffs, I'm sorry for you having to go through this pain! All I can offer you, is that you harness the anger you have to: "KNOW SHE IS NO GOOD FOR YOU" & realize you will be better off without her. You don't want someone who doesn't want you, do you? I hate to say this, but, you have to Man up & eat the pain.. Let her go mentally as best you can. Do not waste your worthful thoughts anymore on someone who is NO LONGER WORTHY OF YOURS! Scorp
sultry33 Posted April 23, 2009 Posted April 23, 2009 with every kick you learn every step you will get stronger keep busy thats the key and realise that time will help you and you did well.. you came here to rant and did not let her know hugs to you xx
Peter_pan Posted April 23, 2009 Posted April 23, 2009 they say a picture speaks a thousand words, maybe their right.. anyway, delete her from you myspace or what ever it is. or delete your own and create it at a later point.
EmperorR Posted April 23, 2009 Posted April 23, 2009 LET IT GO it doesn't matter what she told you its just words, I've had all that told to me before, "your the best bf ever" , "i love you with all my heart", "ill die without you", "your my everything", "your the first guy who ever treated me with respect and showed me how it feels ot be loved", bla bla in the end its all words, ya maybe they meant it then but this is now and at this present time they don't I know how it is i've had my hear stomped on BACK TO BACk basically 7 months apart on the same damn day the 31st, I've been cheated on by my ex fiance and left for another man, i've been dumped by a chick who has been cheated on and abused in every relationship because "im not good enough" according to her:laugh: Do I know if this ex is dating I don't, and that's the good part, what I don't know what I can't see what I can't hear, can't hurt me. It sucks but life is hard, just know you did the best you could and to this ungrateful person it wasn't what they wanted, let go and move on.
Author fofiffs Posted April 23, 2009 Author Posted April 23, 2009 This happened to me when I saw a picture of them together. It's funny. I know that she is ****ing him every night, cuddling, spooning, laughing, watching movies with him, holding hands down the street, spontaneously kissing him on the cheek, I know all this, yet seeing a photo of them can feel like a knife in the heart. I can't explain it. You had your heart ripped out, so did I. I have accepted that it is a part of life, one I thought I would never experience. I am taking it as a learning experience and hopefully when the pain subsides I will be a stronger person. How will you forget this girl if you are still checking up on her? Accept the fact she has a new boyfriend. She is going to be doing all the things associated with dating another person. Get angry, upset, whatever, but stop torturing yourself even further by looking at her myspace. Just remember, you didn't break NC. You aren't back to square one, you are just slowing your progress. Out of sight, out of mind. Stop sighting her! Thanks Mark. It's just really messed up how someone can tell you that they will always love you but three weeks of being in a relationship with this new guy she's already saying she loves him. I'm just really angry thats all. Because I was just thinking about how she used me. I did so much for her and her baby. I was there for her before and after her pregnancy. I went to almost all the appointments and treated her baby like mine. Then once she got back up on her feet that's when she goes and leaves. Even after we broke up, she lead me on like I still had a chance with her. But when she met this guy she tells me she hate's me, doesn't want me in her life, and dont want me to see the baby I help take care of. How creul can a person be like. I really don't care no more about what she does, I just can't wait for the day that karma comes and bites her.
EmperorR Posted April 23, 2009 Posted April 23, 2009 Thanks Mark. It's just really messed up how someone can tell you that they will always love you but three weeks of being in a relationship with this new guy she's already saying she loves him. I'm just really angry thats all. Because I was just thinking about how she used me. I did so much for her and her baby. I was there for her before and after her pregnancy. I went to almost all the appointments and treated her baby like mine. Then once she got back up on her feet that's when she goes and leaves. Even after we broke up, she lead me on like I still had a chance with her. But when she met this guy she tells me she hate's me, doesn't want me in her life, and dont want me to see the baby I help take care of. How creul can a person be like. I really don't care no more about what she does, I just can't wait for the day that karma comes and bites her. thats how people are its just words, I've heard it all, after 3 days " i love this guy, I can't wait to have kids", yep my ex fiane knowing a guy for 3 days already was on that crap, you know why? it's new and exciting and refreshing, honeymoon stage where everything is seen through wonderful goggles that doesn't hilight the bad. Ah I got the string as well, ex cheated dumped me but wait she would go to counselling and work on herself and the underlying problems she had and maybe just maybe we could work through this, 3 days later butterflies for some new herb at school a week later dating. That's what these people do offer you "let's be friends", give you lines like "who knows what the future holds", "I always wonder if I made the right decision" and the classic "I still love you", THESE ARE ALL WORDS THEY MEAN NOTHING NOTHING AT ALL. It doesn't matter how good you treat someone, I taught my ex fiance ENGLISH for crying out loud, I got her into university, I helped her get a scholaship, I was there for her through thick and thin, when she couldnt afford to visit her sick grandparents in europe I worked overtime and paid for her ticket so she could see them one last time and she went and cheated on me, it doesn't matter what you do for scum in the end they will still be scum, you did your best remeember that nothing you can change, she's the one with the issues and the problems, next time you knowa relationship should be 50/50, next time you know to look for the signs.
DJMarky Posted April 23, 2009 Posted April 23, 2009 Like EmperorR said, they are just words. Actions speak louder than words, and through her actions you can see what she is really like. My ex wrote me a long email when we started dating about how I was her first love, she was planning on going through life getting attached to people but not too attached, didn't expect to fall in love, then I came along. She loved me so much it scared her how vulnerable she was. Told me she never told anyone that she loved them before. Blah blah blah. Next second she is ****ing some other dude. You have every right to be angry. So get furious, hate her. Sounds like you were a great boyfriend (as I would consider myself - I did my best), but unfortunately that doesn't always mean your partner has to be a great girlfriend. That is life. You can't control the other person. She may have just used you for support to get her up, or maybe she is the type of girl (like my ex) who likes the chase. They get bored easily and go between guys like there is no tomorrow. In the end it doesn't matter. Scorpio is right, it's hard, but slowly try to steer your thoughts away from her. You deserve better. She isn't worth your time.
EmperorR Posted April 23, 2009 Posted April 23, 2009 Like EmperorR said, they are just words. Actions speak louder than words, and through her actions you can see what she is really like. My ex wrote me a long email when we started dating about how I was her first love, she was planning on going through life getting attached to people but not too attached, didn't expect to fall in love, then I came along. She loved me so much it scared her how vulnerable she was. Told me she never told anyone that she loved them before. Blah blah blah. Next second she is ****ing some other dude. You have every right to be angry. So get furious, hate her. Sounds like you were a great boyfriend (as I would consider myself - I did my best), but unfortunately that doesn't always mean your partner has to be a great girlfriend. That is life. You can't control the other person. She may have just used you for support to get her up, or maybe she is the type of girl (like my ex) who likes the chase. They get bored easily and go between guys like there is no tomorrow. In the end it doesn't matter. Scorpio is right, it's hard, but slowly try to steer your thoughts away from her. You deserve better. She isn't worth your time. Yep agrees 100%< get angry its a step in the right direction. Yep I got those lines to "every night I prayed to God for someone like you":laugh:, just a joke. And Yep I was a great bf, and I know 110% she will never get anyone as good as me.
Author fofiffs Posted April 23, 2009 Author Posted April 23, 2009 Thanks guys. It was just today that all these came up on me from no where. For 7 days I didn't even really think about her because I was so busy with work, school exams and studying, and going to the gym. It all crept up on me when I decided to stay home today. I'm good during the day but its when I get home where it sometimes hits me. I burned everything that reminds me of her but the only memory left is this apartment. I can't wait to move out this june. She lived with me for a while that's probably why I have these relapses because everything in this apartment reminds me of her. Thats why I make up alot of excuses to not come home or constantly go out. But it really does help.
EmperorR Posted April 23, 2009 Posted April 23, 2009 I hate being home to, especially when your alone, your mind drifts, it helps when your home just turn on some music or your tv, just hearing sounds etc. can help your mind not to drift.
Author fofiffs Posted April 23, 2009 Author Posted April 23, 2009 I hate being home to, especially when your alone, your mind drifts, it helps when your home just turn on some music or your tv, just hearing sounds etc. can help your mind not to drift. yeah thats exactly what happens when I stay at home, I think i'm going to stay at my parents next week for a couple days just to get out of here and get my mind back together again..
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