Intricategirl Posted April 22, 2009 Posted April 22, 2009 A couple of nights ago, I noticed an unusual amount of activity on my website from one city in Kentucky, the state where my ex's OW lives. I told him I didn't know what city she lived in, but I could guess by the number of hits from this city. It was enough that I told him to tell her to quit being so insecure, and quit visiting my site. He asked a few questions about it. Today, I noticed there was another hit from the city. I called him and told him that I'm not kidding and it really needs to stop. He said that she went there last night because she couldn't remember whether she had visited or not. Finally, he wouldn't say anything but, "Okay." I got mad and hung up on him. I wrote him when I got home and said that A) she's lying if she doesn't remember two separate visits with a month between them and the last one occurring about a month ago, and B) the reason I found out where she lives is because of the exceptional number of visits and time spent on the page. He wrote me back and told me that there's more to the story than I thought. He said that her computer was stolen in February by an ex boyfriend of hers that is stalking her. He said this guy sent an email to him threatening to tell me about the correspondence back in February, and that he'd never see his kids again. But he was using this as a defense that "she can't be stalking you because she's being stalked herself." And it's serious enough that she's pursuing a restraining order against him, which isn't a light, frivolous sort of thing. I f*cking unleashed on him. I don't care about his affair, but now he has someone who is searching my site for information, who knows and has mentioned his kids, and yet, he doesn't think anything is wrong. I mean, after all, it's been a month since he visited!! I told him that I will be spending the next few days deciding whether I want to go ahead and file, and pursue complete custody of the kids with no visitation rights. He has not put their interests first, and when given multiple times to tell me what was going on, he did not. He could have told me about this when he confessed there was another woman. He could have told me yesterday when he found out she had been visiting my site after a date that he knew her computer was stolen. He could have told me today when I said there was another visit there. He can bring all the chaos he wants into his own life, but he has no right to destroy theirs by putting them in a situation where they are being talked about by a stalker, especially in a situation where the guy is using the words, "never see them again". I mean, he *might* be talking about him losing visitation because of an affair, but that's not the way it works. And we are talking about a person who has gone through and contacted everyone he could find on her computer, so think about which one is a more reasonable assumption. I could use some advice quickly on how to proceed. He has a visitation scheduled tonight, and I'm not sure I'm comfortable with him taking the kids anywhere. That being said, I don't know for sure that they are safe here either. Now the guy knows my name since my website IS my name. And if you've got my name, you've got my address, phone, etc. I'm p*ssed.
TrustInYourself Posted April 22, 2009 Posted April 22, 2009 What are you really mad about? Let your reason be the guide to your actions, rather than your emotions.
Billy Bob Posted April 22, 2009 Posted April 22, 2009 Put your myspace or facebook page on private for firsts..
TrustInYourself Posted April 22, 2009 Posted April 22, 2009 That's what I am saying. What do you expect? It's public.
delajoonal Posted April 22, 2009 Posted April 22, 2009 intricategirl... i am a mom too...so i never feel like i am going over board with protection...better to be safe than sorry.. so, if stbx is playing a game with you and trying to push your buttons with this whole OW stalker etc. thing...immediately go NC..get some REAL legal advice on this situation...also, have your website/computer checked by some legal authority for where and when these hits took place? if someone said something even remotely close to "never see them (kids) again", i would be at my local law enforcment office/ police station.. i would NOT take this lightly..but that is me. your stbx could just be very dramatic and really trying to get some type of emotion out of you...as you stated, you have been pretty 'mellow' thru this whole ordeal...so IT is bugging him that he is not getting the response out of you he wanted... sounds like a sick SOB and i would definatley get some legal help.. i know i said that like 3 times...but when it comes to you kids..as a mom, i would not mess around with these idiots anymore:( good luck sweetie and PLEASE keep us posted:rolleyes:
Billy Bob Posted April 22, 2009 Posted April 22, 2009 He wrote me back and told me that there's more to the story than I thought. He said that her computer was stolen in February by an ex boyfriend of hers that is stalking her. He said this guy sent an email to him threatening to tell me about the correspondence back in February, and that he'd never see his kids again. But he was using this as a defense that "she can't be stalking you because she's being stalked herself." And it's serious enough that she's pursuing a restraining order against him, which isn't a light, frivolous sort of thing. And this sounds like a bunch of fabricated BS.. Don't even expect real answers and explanations from an ex.. What do you consider an unusual amount of activity on your website?
Author Intricategirl Posted April 22, 2009 Author Posted April 22, 2009 And this sounds like a bunch of fabricated BS.. Don't even expect real answers and explanations from an ex.. What do you consider an unusual amount of activity on your website? I agree. It very well could be fabricated. Either he is trying to cover her butt, actually believes this story, or just didn't think it was worth telling me- he's made a bad decision. The best answer I can give is that it was about 5 times the ordinary amount of time spent on the site, and the highest number of page visits of any state except my own (where my own visits account for most of the hits). And this is a business site. This is how I make part of my living. Not a Myspace or Facebook, which are completely irrelevant to me. I go private here, I lose my business. If I don't, a stalker has the ability and desire to find out about me (and by proxy, my children). Obviously I'm picking the kids, but that he didn't even tell me this was going on is unreal.
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