do you think this guy wil show his true colours again

[kaisergal]

I was mates with this guy in work for a year he was always a flirt and tactile I liked him but he had a fiance at time so didn't see anything in it. After a year he started acting differently towards me asking me constantly was I seeing anyone,asking personal questions on msn and generally been more cheeky/suggestive with me.

 

I said to him once I had animal print boots he was like damn you didn't buy the matching underwear and he would say stuff like if you came to see me I would find it hard behaving or if we went out I might not be able to keep my hands to myself. We went on two dates as 'friends' the one he slid his leg between mine under the table and was pushing against it the second time we went for a posh nosh meal which he was quite cuddly with me.

 

I didn't go there or push it hence he had a girlfriend... Anyway he started to act distant I didn't know why till he told me he met this girl and a week later he dumped his fiance for her and she dumped her partner of 6 years for him. I confronted him bout what he did to me he totally denied it. After two months he got engaged to this girl had booked a wedding but she was talked out of it and told to wait. But have moved in together after just 4 months. He's been engaged 3 times before[/COLOR]

[scootncash]

Do I think he will show his true colors again? ABSOLUTELY! There are red flags flying all over this one. How could you consider a man who comes onto you the way he does when he is supposedly engaged to someone else. Doesnt sound like lasting relationship material to me. Then he dumps the fiance for someone he just recently met while he had be coming onto you. Thank goodness someone talked the new girl out of getting married but yet she still shows signs of stupidity by moving in with him.

 

This man has no respect for any woman and can definately lay the words on thick. The snake is a just that a snake. He comes on so smoothly that everyone gets caught up in what he says.

 

I learned a lesson from my therapist and i hear it being said often and I know it to be true.............

 

JUDGE A MAN ON WHAT HE DOES NOT WHAT HE SAYS

 

WHEN SOMEONE SHOWS YOU WHO THEY ARE, BELIEVE THEM!!

[kaisergal]

[FONT=Consolas][sIZE=3]Thanks i know what you mean finding it hard as im very sensitive person. On one hand hes come across a dog to have done what he did no im not totally innocent but i was in a low place at the time and he was playing the 'friends' card despite the way he was acting and things he was saying![/sIZE][/FONT]

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[FONT=Consolas][sIZE=3]On the other i feel if i had been more forward and not give off such mixed signals i might’ve found out truely what he wanted. He made out it was all in my head but dont think that was the case! [/sIZE][/FONT]

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[FONT=Consolas][sIZE=3]No i dont mean him harm just i think people like that come out smelling of roses. Hes going on hols, on bout marriage,moved in with her im just left with a bitter aftertaste[/sIZE][/FONT]

[scootncash]

Hi Kaisergal,

 

Here's the thing. I dont think you were "giving mixed signals" like you think. I think you were doing what any "normal" person would have done once finding they have an attraction to someone.

 

Of course it wasnt in your head. Thats his MO. Thats how he works it and apparently he does it well. Dont beat yourself up over this one in fact go out and celebrate the fact that you got away cleanly with your life and very little injury.

 

Of course if you have to run into him be polite and speak to say maybe hi but I wouldnt otherwise engage in any type of relationship, emotional, feeling discussion with him. He's not that deep and only capabable of fulfilling his own needs. It doesnt matter who he gets them from just that he sustains his own ego. Ya know one of those the grass is always greener on the other side. Its narcisstic behavior and most cant be changed unless they go through intense therapy.

 

Ya know it amazes me how some guys can go after a girl to the end of the world and then turn around and say, do ya think there's anyone better. Perfectionism and narcisstic is exactly what he is and too bad for the girls whose lives he destroys they probably never saw it coming!

 

Scootncash

[kaisergal]

What does MO mean lol.... When i confronted him he was like oh youve read me way wrong,dont blame me for your feelings, i talk like that to all the girls - no he dont!

 

Of course if you have to run into him be polite and speak to say maybe hi but I wouldnt otherwise engage in any type of relationship, emotional, feeling discussion with him. He's not that deep and only capabable of fulfilling his own needs. It doesnt matter who he gets them from just that he sustains his own ego. Ya know one of those the grass is always greener on the other side. Its narcisstic behavior and most cant be changed unless they go through intense therapy. - What do u mean

 

Thing is i am slowly getting over ti but sick of hearing how happy he is! Last time i saw him it was like oh i so want to marry this woman and settle down - in his little head it probs is true but how long it will last who knows

[sugarmomma]

Sounds like he just wanted sex from you. All that talk about your body and his lustful ways, means a man only wants sex.

 

MO means- method of operation.

 

 

Sounds like you dodged a huge bullet. Be thankful that he's gone.

[scootncash]

sugarmomma said it right, MO - method of operation. How he works his way on women. Its a way to confuse your evaluation of his feelings. In other words he makes it look like he is interested and then boom when you call him on it he turns it around on you= thats where the oh no you got it wrong comes from.

 

What Im trying to tell you is this guy is the worse kind of womanizer. He cant ever treat any woman with respect because he doesnt even respect himself. He wouldnt know what to do with a good relationship if it slapped him in the face. He isnt capable of doing the right thing and he certainly isnt the great guy he made himself out to be. Its just games. Seize, conquer, get the sex (if he makes it that far), and then boom gone when something better comes along.

 

He doesnt derserve your attention, your time, your love, in fact he deserves nothing from you not even the honor to share the same air with you. LOSER in the biggest sense of the word or PLAYER comes to mind too!

 

I would guess that you are a wonderful person with so much more to offer of yourself than to waste your time with trash like that. He doesnt deserve the honor of getting to know the wonderful person you are.

 

Count your blessings, learn from this life lesson and remember every bad guy that comes your way is just a quicker route to getting you to the right one. Enjoy life, go have fun and I promise you the right one will come along and the sooner you stop waitng for him he will arrive!

 

Good Luck!

[D-Lish]

"MO" is "Modis Operandi"....but yeah, it translates to how a person operates.

 

This guy sounds about as deep as a puddle.

[kaisergal]

well if hes a womaniser why is he so desperate to marry this woman and is banging on how he wants to settle down with her after just 2 months?

[scootncash]

because in all likelihood he will not marry her and either rebound all over the place or find the next best thing that comes along. This guy doesnt know what he wants and even if he did make the mistake of marrying her its a fatal one for her because he will never be faithful and he will cheat, flirt, kiss, make lude seductive remarks to someone else other than her.

 

Its not about settling down with the right one for him, its about him, getting what he wants when he wants it and anyway he can for only as long as he wants it. Marriage is NOT a serious committment to him.

 

I wish for his sake he would go and get some serious therapy and if she marries him well shame on her. You know when you meet someone and you decide even rather quickly that he is the one, step back and look at his history of women. How were his relationships, monogomous, cheated, how long were they, what was his longest relationship, has he ever been married before and why or what were his reasons for leaving that relationship. There in his past lies the truth of how he will be with you.

 

I for one would never ever consider a man who behaves in this manner to ever be able to be given the precious gift of my love or committment.

 

Go find the book LOVE MUST BE TOUGH and BOUNDRIES IN DATING by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. I got mine at Barnes and Noble and my therapist reccommended it. It was a real eye opener for me and a life saver that helped me see the bad choices I was making in choosing the wrong type of man.

 

Priceless Information.

[D-Lish]

He probably equates love with sexual attraction. As most of us know- that wears off.

[kaisergal]

thing is he left me quite bitter and hurt and hes got the whole shurbang of having a new girl,going on hols,house.....