Donovan Posted April 22, 2009 Posted April 22, 2009 the more you hurt. i honestly can't ever hate anyone again. i've been with 3 women the past 9 years. never thought about cheating on any of them, but all of them have played me and got over on me somehow and i kept contact with them afterwards to satisfy their guilt or whatever(if they had any).. well to try and make a long story short, i was dating this girl for like 2 months and i told her over and over if she didn't want to be with me just tell me and i wouldn't bother her. no matter how moody she got, i always understood with her circumstances. so my best friend gets killed. because i was silent for about a week, she used that as the perfect excuse to say she didn't want to be with me anymore cuz i'm moody AFTER i caught her in a lie while chilling with one of her male friends one night after she canceled plans with me.. now i'm not jealous cuz she had those friends before me but i knew something was going on cuz she hid it.. she was in love with who i am as an entertainer more so than i am as a person(i'm a musician). i don't want her anymore cuz i now see what kind of person she is and always was.. couldn't believe she was also on her facebook page bragging about how she uses men til she gets the next one.. she just bought me a book recently i wanted but i borrowed it and returned it tonight and will buy my own later. i told her i had ordered it cuz i don’t want to take anything from her and i didn't even finish reading it.. when i returned the book tonight, she was there with the "male friend" that she's been kicking it with closely lately. going to movies, going to his house late nights, doing things that when i asked her to do, she was always too busy, tired, or had plans.. the last 2 weeks when she was being b*tchy, she would always hang out with him at night and just be too tired to even talk to me for 5 minutes on the phone. i just hate the fact that she couldn't be real with me and lied to me the whole 2 months. she used to tell me these sob stories how her husband and ex boyfriend cheated on her and she turns around and does the same thing on me(now i don't even believe they cheated on her first but that's another story). when i met her i told her i was celebate and she said she was too but i realized that was a lie kinda early.. God don't like ugly though. in my past, when my fiancé i was with for 5 years cheated on me, i told the whole world about her and verbally abused her, I’ve changed.. No more of that cuz it takes a lot more energy to hate someone than to pray for them and their ways. I'll just pray for her and let God handle the situation.. I’d be lying if I said I won’t miss her, but at the same time, I don’t need that type of person in my life and I do appreciate the fact that she didn’t string me along longer than she did, but my intentions before I saw her tonight was to say goodbye for good and since I did I feel so much better. I still have to see her at least every 2 weeks when I buy certain products where she works, but I’ll be nice to her and speak but I seriously don’t think she feels like she did anything wrong. I don’t know if her friends didn’t want her seeing me cuz I’m black and she’s white, she’s embarrassed to be seen with a black guy or that she just likes to play the fields, I just know that I aint the first person she’s tried to play(she told me she’s cheated on several other men after we separated cuz I would have left her if I had known. Once a cheater, ALWAYS a cheater) but she just needs to realize she was wrong and stop playing with peoples emotions as she's so called had hers played with.... i'm definately over her, and i hope one day she finds the happiness she seeks as i will now focus on my life more as i did before i wasted 2 months with her. all i'd like is an apology..peace
Ayla Posted April 22, 2009 Posted April 22, 2009 Hey Donovan, You sound so strong about this. Being cheated on is not a nice thing, or even if it was just breakingup. That is what happened to me. I did not deserve that at all. I found out 4 days after breaking up - and he was so cold and mean, and I have not heard from him since. That is what you get for moving over seas to be with someone and loving them more than anything and being together for 2 years. The break up was quite sudden and there was no warning at all. I wish I had your strength. I hope that your skin colour had nothing to do with peoples opinions on your relationship. She appears to be a bit of a lair...from what you have written. I am really sorry about that. Not all women are cheaters or liars. I hope that you get that apology - I hope I also get the same. Take care.
Author Donovan Posted April 22, 2009 Author Posted April 22, 2009 thanks for the kind words Ayla. my fiance of 5 years apologized to me after 3 years for the first time and again 2 years later when i continued to ignore her. we've been seperated for good since 2006. i just expect the worst in every relationship cuz i just can't let my shield down. once i let my shield down, i end up getting screwed 100% of the time.. my biggest weakness is my loyalty. it's just like if i were living a life of crime. i'm not a criminal and i work legally for a living, but if i were doing illegal things, i'd rather do ALL of my prison time than snitch on my friends. i've always been that way since elementary school. hahaha. i've caught many of whippins cuz i've refused to tell on people involved with me in things. loyalty is my best trait and my biggest weakness but there comes a time where u got to stop letting people run over you and sometimes be the aggressor. i really hope you get your apology too, but i seriously doubt i'll ever get mine. thanks and peace.
Sonic_chaos Posted April 22, 2009 Posted April 22, 2009 dude, it sounds like you have moved on already and to be honest good for you if she is telling the truth about being cheated on etc she is obviously out on some mad man hunt to make guys pay for what 1 person did to her so long ago. Thats just not on.. Sounds like she is bragging as it makes her look good to others ie mates/friends. bit like a player if you will.. Truth of the matter is that she just sounds extremely immature and out of order with alot of things you have spoke about. Id take the fact you have to see her to go get your products as a look at what you could have had type motto. Seriously, you dont need that sort of relationship of mood swings and total lack of repsect on her part to you. Even the part were you said that your best friend got killed, if she was any sort of a girlfriend or had any kindness in her, she would allow you the time to come around and take your time back into the relationship. Thats excatly what i would be doing, if i still had my ex.. My needs and my prioities would stop and its her time to come to terms with her loss of a loved one and then in her own time come back to me. Me obviously supporting her if she needed me there.. You also sound a real strong willed and also strong mentally. Just what you need.. You will find the right gal mate and when you do.. you will be glad you let your guard down with her.. I let my guard down with my ex and im so glad i did,, but im also disappointed that once i had let it down it was that the challenge had gone in some respects.. I let my sheild down and let her in, and 6 months down the line, this happens.. Good luck
Author Donovan Posted April 23, 2009 Author Posted April 23, 2009 man i got to be strong willed about it.. i've had sooo many people close to me die and get killed since i hit 20 over a decade ago. it's just been downhill but i women have been the downfall of every great man since sampson. from tyson to oj as well. haha. i'm gon be good, but i just hate to be betrayed. this site is really the hotness though. lots of people that go thru the same things so relating to the problems is great. thanks again everyone. peace
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