masbury Posted April 22, 2009 Posted April 22, 2009 My ex and I started seeing each other almost 7 months ago... spent lots of time together, talked about moving in together in the future when we are both ready, he has brought it up at times, and I have also. I decided to move closer to my job and found a place (moving Saturday) and asked him if he wanted to go ahead and move with me (asked him towards the end of March when I found the place) and he was not ready at that time (just started a new job and wanted to see where it went 1st), so I accepted that and didn't bring it up again. He started to sort of act a little distant at times after that, like pulling away sort of, but still wanting me to go stay with him (which I did about 3 days a week) and when i wasn't with him he would call me every day, and sometimes even a couple times. Well then the week before last, he called and out of the blue said that in like 3 months, he wanted to see where we were and his job and if things were going good, that he wanted to go ahead and move in with me then. Then a week after he said that, he called to break up with me (said he wasn't attracted to me now and this was a few days ago), and wanted to be friends... I told him I can't just hang out as friends because of my feelings, he understood and I went to get my stuff. I am in my 2nd day of no contact, it hurts a lot, and I dont understand where and why this happened, can someone help me understand?
Ronni_W Posted April 22, 2009 Posted April 22, 2009 Hugs masbury. Sometimes people can act so weird and drive us crazy, huh? It's just a guess...sounds as if he may have put pressure on himself to make a commitment and then got himself all freaked out by his SELF-INDUCED fears and anxieties around moving in with you / taking the relationship to a "next step". Nothing you can do about his crap. Going/staying 'no contact' for your own sanity and recovery is about your wisest option at this point. Sorry you're going through this.
BCCA Posted April 22, 2009 Posted April 22, 2009 I think the idea of moving in together and taking the next step seems alright in theory, until you actually go to do it. Seriously, would you rather he did this, or came and moved all his stuff and then bailed? I know it sucks, been there before, but I think sometimes when we actually go to follow through with plans, reality sets in, and it doesnt seem like such a great idea anymore. I'm sorry to hear that this happened, it really sucks. But remind yourself that you dont need anyone half-in a relationship with you, and if they cant handle themselves the way you want, their loss. Sounds like this guy wanted things to remain only semi-serious, and was willing to walk away. Thats no one you want to start a relationship with anyway.
Recommended Posts