jessicasilver Posted April 22, 2009 Posted April 22, 2009 he dumped me 2 months ago...we agreed to be friends.... spoke a bit.... but i havent heard from him for over a week now.... our FIRST anniversary would have been this thursday coming... we used to always talk about it and what we were going to do together... is it wrong to think that if he doesnt contact me on thursday he never cared at all... it really would hurt if he didnt
BCCA Posted April 22, 2009 Posted April 22, 2009 A great quote goes something like this: 'Expectations are premeditated resentment' Cant remember who it was from, but you get the idea. Here is a couple other things to think about: 1. You two arent together, so its not going to be your first aniversary. You unfortunately didnt get there, and its just a day like any other. It really is meaningles to both of you. 2. STOP TALKING TO HIM!!! He's not a friend, he's an ex. Sure, be civil if you have to, but you shouldnt waste your time talking to him. Eventually, when he finds someone else, he'll dissapear for good anyway, so just accept it now and move on with life without him. 3. Saying if he doesnt contact you on the day that would have been your 1yr aniversay means he never cared at all is craziness. Like I said, now its just a day like any other; its not your aniversary anymore. Also, you need to keep your expectations in line here, he's essentially little more than a stranger in your life at this point, stop making his every move so impactful on you. Stop talking to him, start trying to meet new people, and forget about Thursday. I dont mean to be harsh, but your ripping scabs off the same wounds over and over if you keep going on this way.
Ronni_W Posted April 22, 2009 Posted April 22, 2009 Yes, it would be inaccurate to make ANYthing he does after the break-up mean something about what you guys had before the break-up. If YOU do that, YOU are the only one who is going to get hurt (so, not only would it be based on a faulty thought, it doesn't make sense as a "life strategy", either.) Same as if you expect anything from an ex -- that's just YOU setting YOURSELF up for SELF-induced disappointment. I highly recommend that you NOT hurt or disappoint yourself He USED to care...that's why people get in relationship with each other. Whatever he does or doesn't do now won't change the past. It sucks when it ends, though -- I'm sorry you're going through it. Hugs. EDIT: BCCA is absolutely right -- Thursday is just Thursday -- it is NOT your "woulda-been anniversary" -- there really isn't any such thing.
Author jessicasilver Posted April 27, 2009 Author Posted April 27, 2009 i guess i was wrong to expect anything from him i signed in to msn and he signed in 5 minutes later after me on that day (anniversary)... but he didnt say a word and neither did i... it really hurt me and i got really angry!! :@ i blocked and deleted him straight away and i guess it was kinda a good thing as it was my last bit of hope left in the relationship and his last chance and he didnt take it so now i couldnt care less anymore, i feel as if im over him now!!! even if he begs me bk or i hear his with another girl i just wouldnt care.... i wish him well for his future
vessv6l Posted April 27, 2009 Posted April 27, 2009 Thats the way jessicasilver. Now stop thinking about him too and you'll be set.
Author jessicasilver Posted April 27, 2009 Author Posted April 27, 2009 Thats the way jessicasilver. Now stop thinking about him too and you'll be set. i feel so much more happier now that i no longer have hope lol ive waited around and wasted two months of my life to get some form of response from him, i have had other guys who were million times better then him interested in me but i let them slip because i thought i wanted him back but i dont! i love being single... it will take a real gentleman to get me back into a relationship anytime soon LOL!!!
Recommended Posts