Is there hope????

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ok.. here's my story and i need some SERIOUS help!!!

 

ok so it started on july 08.. i was just getting out of a relationship with a complete idiot named bobby (told me he didn't had time to study if he got into a relationship yet one week later he was making out with some girl at a club) and this other robert appeared.

 

he used to like my best friend (anita) and that's how i knew him, just by name, no one introduced us until we were both at a friend's birthday party at a club and we danced and i asked for his name and he told me robert and i was like ohh god another robert and he told me hey not all roberts are the same and we flirted haha you could see the sparks lol. I was staying over at anita's and he drove us home he flirted the whole way over. He then added me to facebook and we began chatting through the fbchat, but it was so annoying that little bloop you hear that he added me to msn and we talked almost everyday.

 

so then i saw him everywhere i went! there's a club here named one and he always went there, and so did i so u can imagine that i saw him every weekend! Well almost a week after we met he asked me out and i said yes he took me to a restaurant and well to make it short, by the end of the night he was holding my hand and hugging me, and when he said goodye he gave me a kiss in the forehead and i dunno it was all so sweet!

 

well time went by and we started dating officially, we were an item yet not boyfriend-girlfriend. it was all good and perfect until one day it all went down the toilet..

 

i was at a club, minc, and i had been drinking A LOT! by the time he got there i was already a little bit drunk yet i knew what was happening.. we both went to the other club called one and stayed there for a while, when we got back, he left me there (from here i have no record, just what my friends told me) and i was clearly drunk and this guy from my high school grabbed me and gave me a whole bottle of pure vodka just to me. We were dancing and he kissed me, not just one little kiss but a end-of-movie kind of kiss and not just once .. well he left and I tripped into another boy, andrew (my other best friend's cousin) and we made out! so i made out with two guys when i was already seeing robert and i practically cheated on him.

 

So he found out and told me that he was confused with his feelings, that he thought there were something else but he just got confused because we talked all the time and that it was better to call it off and be friends before anyone else got hurt (this was in september, the 1st) . i cried all night long, from 11pm to 4am in the morning and i didn't even went to school that day because of how bad i felt. so for that whole week i felt the most disgusting person ever! i felt so bad that i wrote a letter to him, not asking him to take me back, but to apologize for everything that happened and i took it to his house and left it with the maid. he read it and told me that it was better if we remain just as friends and i told him that the point of the letter was to make him see that that girl at the club wasn't me, that i couldn't even forgive myself for what i had done. and well after that week of not talking and delivering the letter he texted me every single day of the next week. i was so glad cause i thought that we were gonna get back together but then he just stopped, and i was so depressed. but then the next week i saw him at ani's house because it was movie night and he went, he flirted with me the ENTIRE NIGHT! and he sat next to me and joked around with me.. i had two phones, a nokia and a blackberry with a new number, i gave the nokia to a friend and i kept the bb that night, robert went down to get something of the kitchen and came back up. right there, i signed into msn and my friend who had the nokia told me "robert just called you and sounded all mysterious" but i couldnt't tell him anything about it so i just let it go. we then went to a restaurant and he opened the car door fot me and payed for my food and closed the door for me and then in the car he almost did somenthing that he did when we were together which was to throw his arms behind the seat and pat my head, but he didnt.

 

after this night he didnt talked to me anymore and i didnt wrote to him, so i deleted him from every single communication way haha from fb, from my msn and from the blackberry and of course i deleted his number. and after a week he added me again to the blackberry and never talked to me again. (october)

 

in january i saw him at a friend's prom dance and we were dancing next to each other(not together) and he talked to me a bit. then i met him at one one night and he approached me when i was all alone and talked to me a bit. then we never talked again until in march i was at the beach at a friends apartment and he went there and he flirted with me and laughed and joked around with me. then this last week he has written almost every day and he got another blackberry but he hasnt added me but on saturday he wanted to see me, i told him i was at a bar and he asked me where that bar was so he could go and i told him that i had already left...

yesterday he wrote me and made references to things we used to say before when we were together...

 

i dont know what to think of this.. does he want me back? is he afraid? whaaat?! i've tried to move on and have other relationships but i cant as much as i try he's gonna be there in my heart until i find another guy that sweeps me off my feet or i dont kno...

 

i think that im gonna have this "what couldve happen if i hadnt screwed it up" feeling all the time!

 

what do you think him writing to me again means? what should i do?

 

HELP MEEEEEE