tidal Posted April 21, 2009 Posted April 21, 2009 I have always been in serious, exclusive relationships. I've been single for a while now and other than a once-a-month bed buddy, I've been too jaded by guys to get too excited about anyone or try to date. So, I met this guy through a friend and we started seeing each other in February and had sex relatively quickly. It was pretty clear from the beginning that the relationship was very casual. We do go out on dates and hang out with each other friends and spend time together not having sex. But he'll also come over at midnight for a sleep-over. Honestly, I don't mind this set-up at all. I would rather not deal with the complications of a relationship right now and I do not see long-term potential with this guy (I knew that right away). He also is looking for a new job and will probably move out-of-state so he does not want to get seriously involved either. But we do like each other. Last week, he says to me, "I would like to be honest with you, I'm seeing someone else." I said that was fine (suspected it anyway) and then mentioned that I had slept with someone while we were dating too (just friend-sex). He got a bit defensive/jealous by saying, "As long as he isn't better in bed than me" and "Does he make you delicious dinners like I do?" I was taken back a bit by the defensive nature especially after telling me that he was dating another girl. I'm not dating the other guy. While I am comfortable with our casual relationship, even him seeing another girl... as someone who is new to this casual dating thing, I do feel a bit conflicted about it. Because, well, what's the point? If he's already not getting what he wants from me and is dating another girl casually, and if I am still getting friend-sex, then what's the point of us dating each other? In a way, it seems silly. I was absolutely fine with everything until he mentioned this. And it's not that I'm jealous, I would be fine with him sleeping with other people - we're not exclusive. But actually dating someone else... just sounds, well expensive, for one, and... odd. Am I being insecure? Basically I'm just looking for other people's thoughts who have more experience with casual dating than I do and who can explain if this is normal.
bluechocolate Posted April 21, 2009 Posted April 21, 2009 For me casual dating would be dating whoever I want whenever I want, being extra careful not to double book. Until a decision is made about being exclusive I would take it as a given that we were both free to date, & have sex with, other people. "As long as he isn't better in bed than me" and "Does he make you delicious dinners like I do?" I was taken back a bit by the defensive nature especially after telling me that he was dating another girl. diddums - poor guy, I hope you laughed gently at him whilst patting him on the head.
Author tidal Posted April 21, 2009 Author Posted April 21, 2009 For me casual dating would be dating whoever I want whenever I want, being extra careful not to double book. I agree, which is why I never mentioned my friend-on-the-side. So I'm confused why he would want me to know that he's seeing someone else.
xpaperxcutx Posted April 21, 2009 Posted April 21, 2009 I agree, which is why I never mentioned my friend-on-the-side. So I'm confused why he would want me to know that he's seeing someone else. Well, from the way he responded, he might have been trying to gauge a reaction out of you. But that's really just my opinion. That's the thing about casual dating, if you feel you don't want to do it anymore, you can just break things off.
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