acd303 Posted April 21, 2009 Posted April 21, 2009 I decided to do this summary after three months when ex girlfriend dumped me. I tried to do these summaries in earlier stages of my healing and actually i get some pretty interesting results. It is clear to me i haven't been honest and lied to myself putting more things i miss with her, than not. Month and a half things tied. It is a good thing to bring back some peace from chaos in your head when you are in the healing process. This time bad things outweighted the good ones: I miss: 1) Conversations (we were very close, we had long talks about everything, i have never talked with anyone so long on the phone:), she is smart, wonderful girl, she is interested in many thing i am, i told her all my secrets. I miss this part of our relationship most, i don't have a close family or friend 2) Kisses, hugs etc. 3) Travelling together, hanging out ( i don't have a lot of good friends to hang out with, i'm not this very cool guy who is everyones friend:) so sometimes i'm bored, have plenty of spare time and this part is killing me the most:( Other two things i miss, but was not in our relationship for the last months is sex and comforting in our relationship, as she was basically not interested in my problems Things i definitely not miss: 1) Constant fights, very big ones... 2) That she is always right, no matter what 3) Always rebuking me that i don't have something, or am not someone she would like me to be 4) Last months we practically had no sex, because of her health issues, but it actually came out that it is her subsided feelings (what a moron i was) 5) Her constant problems about job, family etc. telling me how lonely and not happy she was, i had to listen to all of this, but actually there was not that much problems, she made a victim of herself 6) Her coldness and warmness with me, it was killing me as i never understood how can you tell a person one day that you love him, the other day you can say i don't... she was ALWAYS not decided what she wants 7) Always telling me that she will leave me if i do something wrong 8) For last months she was talking about material things too much, she wants this and that, bla bla bla, i don't have a lot of money she knew that and i don't care about these things that much either. her manners, talking, appearence changed, she became a cold bitch alway complaining about things, wanting something she cannot have at he moment 9) There was always hard to talk about our problems, mainly because there was no OUR problems, that was only MY problems, she had no problems, yeah she is a princess... 10) Constant dials, when i'm with friends, having a good time, telling me how unhappy she is 11) Constant complains, that i'm not happy, she doesn't like me that way bla bla bla. yes my dear, YOU made me unhappy 12) The most important this emotional coldness towards me sometimes when she basically didin't care or was in a bad mood So it is a good exercise, i don't know how i can still be in love with a person who put me through hell, told me she loves me but her feelings subsided (and whats that suppose to mean?). She doesn't care about me, she never contacted me in 3 months, although said to me that i'm dear to her and she wants to be friends. So i think she just don't love me, and actually doesn't care, these were just words... So i've reached the point i don't care either, **** her, i did not deserved this, i did many good things to her, loved her than anything in my life. Do this and be honest with yourselves, good luck.
DJMarky Posted April 22, 2009 Posted April 22, 2009 I have done this list before, pretty sure everyone on these forums has read it, if so you can skim this part! Hahah, my negatives list far outweighs my positive Positives: - Hot. - Nice mix of races. - Cooked nice dinner. - Nice bed. - Good sex. - Affectionate. - I loved her (unfortunately). Negatives: - Hung around her ex a lot, who still bought her expensive gifts, yet didn't tell him she was seeing me. - When asked if she was dating me by her ex and his friends, said no. - I complained, she told me she didn't want to see me and needed space, spent the night we were supposed to be together for NYE with another guy in the hotel room I had booked. - Next day we were supposed to got to a festival that cost me $200, she said she didn't want to see me again, waste of money. - Came over next day as if everything was fine, ****ed like rabbits, just a booty call. - Was supposed to go out one night, she didn't come because she made plans with her ex who she had seen that week, where she hadn't seen me at all. I break up with her, she gets upset and says she wants to be with me, we get back together. - Hangs out with another guy during the last week of our relationship, telling me how hot he is, she checked him out when he was changing, she is dreaming about him (what the **** - what type of girlfriend does that?). I tell her I am not comfortable with her seeing him, she tells me I am insecure. I break up with her by text (since she was ignoring my phone calls, as we had plans that night, but of course she was more interested in sitting on his dick) calling her a bitch, she shows all her friends and family the text but doesn't tell them that she was sleeping with another guy, acts innocent as if I had sent it out of the blue for no reason. Gets them on her side. - Contacts me telling me she misses me, can't stop thinking about me (no apology), writes me an email with photos of her saying that the other guy means nothing, she is bored of him, she hasn't slept with him, wants me back, yet tells my brother's friend who inquired about whether we were still going out (trying to pick her up) that we were never dating. - I ignore her attempts to get back together, she writes again angry, admitting that she was lying about not sleeping with him, rubs in my face her whoring ways, tells me all her male friends want to bash me, my friends are losers, she told her ex that she was dating this new guy but would never for me etc etc. - Superficial tramp who dresses like a prostitute. - Acts like a bimbo in public. - Uses her looks to get what she wants. List could go on if I think about every aspect of the relationship. Basically, I was treated like ****, yet put up with it for so long. Hence my other thread, just looking back on it all gets me so pissed off. The money I spent on her, which I was happy to spend, was just a waste. She never had money to do things for me, she was too busy spending the cash with her other friends and her now new boyfriend on tickets etc. I was used and it makes me feel like punching something.
Author acd303 Posted April 22, 2009 Author Posted April 22, 2009 i spend too much money on my ex too, we traveled for my money, she is from a poor family and i never grudged about that, money is not the most important thing in my life, i don't have much, but it is more than enough for me. Then she got that job, as a secretary in the office, get wage better than mine, started spending her money on clothes, cosmetics, hanging out with her dumb girlfriends and other ****, manipulated me - "You don't have a car, very bad", "You need a better job" (i like my job, why should i?) . Sometimes she even borrowed money from me as this was not enough for her:) She even owes me for today, but she don't care.
Ruby Slippers Posted April 22, 2009 Posted April 22, 2009 Here's mine: Pros: -Amazing sex, fabulous chemistry, connection, passion. -Crazy good times together, adventure, never a dull moment. -Very honest. -Independent and self-sufficient. -Did music together and wrote songs about each other. -Could be very enterprising and helpful. -For the most part, great family. -Moments of great emotional closeness. -Assertive, great at looking out for me and making life easier on me. -Made the huge commitment to move to my city. Cons: -Roving-eyed. -Inconsistent. -Relied too heavily on chemicals, and smoked on the sly. -No future orientation/goals. -Blunt approach, sometimes made mean and hurtful comments. -Unreliable emotional connection, hot and cold behavior. -Initiated big talk of love, marriage, kids, then went all commitment phobic and "scared".
sfsassy Posted April 22, 2009 Posted April 22, 2009 I'll do this for my lst ex. Positives: 1. AMAZING sex. (I mean seriously I would never expect that level of physical attraction again. I just confused it for meaning more.) 2. He was reaally quick witted. 3. He had the same love of irony that I do. 4. We re both foodies, and would look at "food porn" together. 5. Did I mention the sex? LOL Negatives 1. He knew just how intelligent he was, and used it as a weapon. He used to "quiz" me in bed, yuck. 2. Everything had to be on his terms. 3. I had "cooties" a disability, nd I feel he never felt he could introduce me to friends and fmily, so I ws his dirty little secret. 4. He thought relationships shouldn't require ANY work. I do think that if a relationship becomes only about keeping it going, it is bad, but talking about issues once in awhile, isn't. 5. He would become overly sarcastic and mean when he was frustrated. It ws suble, but it was there. No yelling or screaming. Just subtle digs. I come from a sarcastic family, so it wasn't until I told my mom post breakup about some things he said, and my mom said he had been VERY disrespectful to me.
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