ratingsguy Posted April 21, 2009 Posted April 21, 2009 Hi everyone, I asked this question on the dating board, but thought I would ask it here as well. I'm currently in a LDR, although this isn't an LDR question... or maybe it is... I'm not sure. I'm in Philly and she's in Boston. We've been dating for about 2 months and are seeing each other fairly often (3 out of every 4 weekends so far). I think our feelings for each other are pretty strong. We talk on the phone every day, at least a couple of times a day. So things are going well. Anyway, she's flying out to the west coast on Wednesday to visit her sister, and she plans to be there until Sunday. She did make a joke about surprising her out there... forgot exactly what she said, but it was along the lines of "wouldn't it be funny if..." Now I think I want to do it! I haven't met or talked with her sister yet, but I know how to contact her. I would ask her sister's permission (as not to be an intrusion) and also get her opinion. I think it would be really cool to surprise her by flying out and meeting her Friday night, and then flying home the next day (I have to be back in town on Sunday). This way I don't compromise too much time with her and her sister. Plus, I could rent a car and get a hotel (or at least offer) so I don't put her sister out. I think the look of shock on my GF's face when she sees me out there would be absolutely priceless! So my question is... considering everything I said, is this a dumb idea? Cost isn't an issue... I can afford the flight, car, hotel, etc. But does anyone think she would be freaked out if I did something like this? Or would she love me forever? How would you feel?
SophieA Posted April 21, 2009 Posted April 21, 2009 You're seeing eachother 3 out of 4 weekends a month already?!!? I'd say don't do it. Let her go have fun with her sister and meet up the following weekend or whatever.
Lucky_One Posted April 21, 2009 Posted April 21, 2009 I like it. She has a long visit planned with her sister, there will really only be a short time when you would be there for the visit, it would give her sister a good chance to see you and see how you interact with your GF, and girls love romantic surprises like that! (Well, at least I do!) She did bring it up, after all! And you would be getting her sister's opinion, which is vital to this all working. (Take her sister some flowers, too, so that she feels special !)
Island Girl Posted April 21, 2009 Posted April 21, 2009 It is really sweet and it also shows you listen to what she says when she is talking. You are only there for a brief time and won't interfere with anything. It'll just be romantic and spontaneous! Something those of us in LDRs don't get much of.
Bearandsue Posted April 21, 2009 Posted April 21, 2009 I don't know if its me but I don't like that Idea. I can see the intention of it. But since you already see each other 3 out of 4 weekends and talk every day and the relationship being so new, I think you should not press it. Give her her space to just enjoy her visit with her sister. She will gush all about you. And miss you like crazy and when she returns and you see her again and it will be that more special. In my opinion I think you should save that kind of surprise for later down the road.
JLee26 Posted April 21, 2009 Posted April 21, 2009 I find it little creepy, sorry but you wanted honesty. maybe instead of you "showing up" you could instead send tickets and gift cards for your girl and her sis to go to the movies and dinner. but showing up uninvited to a FAMILY members house, i don't for see that going well.
TMichaels Posted April 21, 2009 Posted April 21, 2009 ratingsguy, As you and others pointed out, you've only been dating this girl for two months, yet have managed to see each other three out of every four weekends. As romantic and fun as your "SURPRISE!!!" idea sounds, it could be construed as a bit obsessive and over-the-top. No sense making people wonder (including her family) if you're some sort of nut-case from the get-go, IYKWIM! I think you should just let her go on her trip as planned, and let her have time and fun with her family. You could text her once every day (not 50!) just to let her know she's in your thoughts, but don't call her. If she calls you, however, by all means, pick up! I'm not suggesting you play games with her at all, but a break will do you both some good -- "absence makes the heart grown fonder," they say... and it's true! Then, once you've both had a chance to miss each other, put your efforts into surprising her *when she gets home.* You could go all out -- dress in a suit and a cap so you look like a driver. Meet her in the arrivals hall with a silly sign and pretend like you're "at her service." Wear some shades if you want to prolong the pretense for a bit, and arm yourself with a cheesy grin and a nice bunch of flowers, so she knows you're sincere when you say "you missed her, and you're so glad she's home." You don't actually have to drive or accompany her home -- and I think renting a limo to do that, for example, would also be a bit of overkill. She's going to be tired after such a long-haul flight, and the purpose of surprising her is just that -- turning the gesture into a marathon isn't necessary. She'll get the point just by you just being there. Find a quiet place in the airport where you two can have a bite to eat or a drink and just talk, laugh and let her tell you about her trip. Then, make sure she gets to her car or cab or whatever way she's getting home, and tell her you're looking forward to seeing her whenever you two have made plans to connect next. It probably would be a good idea to also arrange for the two of you to text or call when both of you are finally safely back in your respective homes. That way, both of you will be able to go to sleep that night without worry, and a smile on your face. By doing all of this at the airport, it also makes it easier for you to pull it off and get back to Philly. I would imagine there are quite a few commuter flights between Boston and Philadelphia -- or it shouldn't be that bad of a drive for you, if that's the route you decided to go. Don't want to stifle your mad-cap/zany side at all, ratingsguy. But just think the above scenario might earn you just as many if not more "brownie points" in the end, than the one you first proposed. Good luck, and have fun! Best, TMichaels
northstar1 Posted April 21, 2009 Posted April 21, 2009 Not a 'dumb' idea, but perhaps a bit too much, considering you've only been dating for 2 months and have seen each other most weekends. She may want to just enjoy her time with her family, and you showing up unannounced, while very thoughtful (and something out of a Matthew Mcconaughey movie), might just freak her and her family out a little. Pick her up at the airport and have flowers, that's a good move
KikiW Posted April 22, 2009 Posted April 22, 2009 personally, i would find an alternative surprise... you could ask her sister, but she may not have the heart to say she really just wants to spend time with her sister, who is spending a long weekend with her. I think sending her flowers at her sisters house (and maybe sending a small bouquet to the sister - "don't want to leave the lady of the house out") might be a nice touch? There's nothing wrong with wanting to surprise, but until you get to know her family, they may feel it's a little over the top and the last thing you want is someone thinking you're way too weird.
thegoodlife Posted April 22, 2009 Posted April 22, 2009 I both like and dislike the idea. I think you should talk to her sister and see what she has to say. If the sis thinks it's a good idea, and thinks your SO would be thrilled then maybe you should got for it. But then again she might tell you it's not such a great idea. You know your girlfriend better than any of us here so it really just comes down to whether or not this whole overall plan is good or not. And if you really want to spend the money for one day. You could save it for a different surprise with just the two of you.
Lovin a scrapper Posted April 22, 2009 Posted April 22, 2009 Love the intention but not the idea so much. I like the meet her at the airport idea to pick her up much better. She has planned this visit with her sister to do just that, visit her sister. You will have plenty of chances for crazy other surprises like you are thinking of now a little later on.
Els Posted April 24, 2009 Posted April 24, 2009 It seemed that she did sort of 'hint' at it... at any rate it shows that she wouldn't mind. As long as you speak to her sis about it and you make sure they have plenty of time left together (you mentioned that you plan to do that anyway), and it doesn't cost much on your behalf... I don't see why not!
Author ratingsguy Posted April 28, 2009 Author Posted April 28, 2009 Thanks for the advice everyone. For the record, I decided against it. It is early in the relationship and she was out there mainly to visit her sister, so I didn't want to be an intrusion... even though I think the idea was a good one. There'll be more opportunities for surprises later.
swanee river Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 I like your decision... But I also like the "flowers" idea! And treating them to dinner or something on you is a nice touch--- very classy. All the "thought" without the intrusion. Even if not this time, those are definitely good ideas to store up! -SR
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