dt311unity Posted April 21, 2009 Posted April 21, 2009 My girlfriend and fiance of 5 yrs. and I decided we were going to break up about 1 1/2 weeks ago. We own a house together and she ended up taking some clothes to one of her friends house and stay there for awhile. We have gotten together a few times to talk about things with the relationship and what to do about the house situation. She is the one who is having some issues with the relationship and I have a few too. We have had a hard time because she is very emotional and I am really level headed. She feels it's hard to be emotionally attached to me because I don't always express my emotions. I do show her that I love her and do a lot of things for her, so she understands I love her. Also, she and I have always been in serious relationships since we were 17 yrs old. She is 23 and I am 25 now. She feels like she needs to prove to herself that she can handle living on her own and can make herself happy or she will regret never doing that. I understand this and am supportive of it. At the same time it's hard to let our relationship go. We do have a really great relationship except for a few issues which I know we could both work on. Also, we bought a house about 4 yrs. ago and that has taken a toll on our relationship. All the bills make it hard to be able to afford to go out and do things with each other and enjoy life more. So we have talked a few times and decided we would break up and move into our own places in a few months. So last night I ended up going to visit her at our friends. We talked and she wanted to come home for the night because she was really home sick and has not been sleeping well. I agreed and we went home. We talked and she was talking about maybe just moving into a place together instead of seperately. Also, she brought up going to a counselor even though when I mentioned that before she declined. She didn't think it would help her with her mindset. I guess I am just confused. I know we both hurt and it would be easy just to get back together. Living seperated from each other has been hard but it has also been getting easier over the last few days. I just don't want to make a bad decision and fall back into the relationship with her and then end up broken up down the road. Any advice?
Author dt311unity Posted April 22, 2009 Author Posted April 22, 2009 So I talked to her yesterday and she said she didn't mean some of the things she said the night before. She said that she was just really emotionally stressed out. I guess I should have seen that coming. Part of me thinks I just need to cut her out of my life, even though it will be hard because we still are figuring everything out with the house and such. I don't know. I thought it would be fine with her staying for the night but I guess not if she is going to say things she really doesn't mean that end up making it harder. Any thoughts or advice would be great.
Author dt311unity Posted April 22, 2009 Author Posted April 22, 2009 So I talked to her today finally after ignoring her texts and phone calls. I needed some time to think of what I was going to say. I ended up telling her I think it would be best to not talk for the time being since she can be misleading when we do talk about things. Also I told her it would give her a feel of what it would be like when I am not around anymore since that is what she wants. It's just to hard to have contact with her when I know she doesn't want to be in the relationship. This whole conversation really tore me up inside. She didn't really understand. She said she doesn't know what she wants and doesn't see how that will help the situation. Also she doesn't see how that will help us in the future if we do decide to get back together. I don't even know if I would be able to be with her in the future. We were engaged and then a year after that she ended up cheating on me and we took a break for about a week. I gave her the ring back again awhile after that and now this. I don't know how much more forgiveness I have left in me. We agreed to not talk to each other until monday unless I feel like contacting her. This is so hard
Author dt311unity Posted April 24, 2009 Author Posted April 24, 2009 Not talking to her today has been so hard. How can this no contact make things better between us? Did I make the mistake of telling her I didn't want to talk or see her anymore? Eff! This sucks
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