WhyYesThankYou Posted April 21, 2009 Posted April 21, 2009 I broke up with my ex-bf seven weeks ago today (woohoo anniversary!). I explained the reasons at the time, and I've been doing NC since then. But last week he left a CD in my mailbox of a song he wrote about missing me, along with a note saying he doesn't understand why I haven't been in contact with him. I felt like going, "Because we broke up, silly. Why would you EXPECT me to be in contact with you?" But I know in the past, when I've broken up with someone, it's been really frustrating to me if there's something unresolved and I've asked for an answer or clarification, and gotten nothing. So I left him a short note that simply said, "I haven't been in contact because there's nothing to say. There's nothing to say that would change the fact that we want different, incompatible things. All those things you don't like about me, and didn't like about being with me, are still there." What do you think of that? I just wanted to indicate that there is nothing to revisit, no chance of our getting back together. And I want to remind him that it's not like things were perfect. I'm sure he's missing me at the moment (I miss him a bit, too), but there were things he didn't like about me, and he may have temporarily forgotten those things, or he might be wistfully remembering only the good things. So... Was it appropriate to break NC to acknowledge that he wanted an answer, and being firm about (hopefully) putting an end to things? Or have I opened a can of worms, or been nicer/crueler than I should have? BTW it's been 36 hours since he would have gotten the note, and I haven't heard from him - which I guess is a good thing.
Author WhyYesThankYou Posted April 21, 2009 Author Posted April 21, 2009 Aaaargh, so I posted this message (above), and then I went out to check the mail. Guess who was in my driveway?! Yes, my ex. I don't see him for seven weeks, and then there he is. I came back in the house, and he knocked but I didn't answer. Then he came in the back door, which was unlocked (I was "hiding" in the bedroom). Drama, drama, drama.... I guess this is what happens when you break NC.
Author WhyYesThankYou Posted April 21, 2009 Author Posted April 21, 2009 That is kind of scary!!! Yes, yes it was. So now I'm wondering- do I revert to NC and hope he doesn't come around again, or do I email him and say, "That wasn't cool; don't come around again." ? You know, the funny/sad thing is that if he had asked me to meet up with him, I probably would have said yes. But he just showed up - at my house - and came inside even when I clearly didn't want him there. And he stayed when I asked/told him to leave. If he wants to talk with me and see if we can be friends or something, he's going about it entirely the wrong way. But I don't know what to do...
sotired Posted April 21, 2009 Posted April 21, 2009 I wouldn't contact him. If he keeps pushing the issue, tell him straight up that you don't want to hear from him at all.
rsobrien Posted April 21, 2009 Posted April 21, 2009 Buy a gun. A 20 gauge pump shotgun sounds good. Show him that next time he comes over
Author WhyYesThankYou Posted April 22, 2009 Author Posted April 22, 2009 Buy a gun. Haha, an excellent plan! Unfortunately (or fortunately), I live in a country where guns aren't as easy to get as they are in the US. Would a slingshot have a similar effect as a deterrent, do you think? Or a large stick?
Recommended Posts