ratingsguy Posted April 21, 2009 Posted April 21, 2009 To kind of add on to zilverenvlinder's question of when, does anyone have any opinions on this one? Also, what's a good setting to drop the "L" word? I'm sure these questions have been asked 100 times before, but I'm just wondering what everyone is thinking. Thanks!
ColorCube Posted April 21, 2009 Posted April 21, 2009 Do you love her? If you love someone then you tell them, no exceptions.
Trialbyfire Posted April 21, 2009 Posted April 21, 2009 IMO, hands down, the man! I've never said it first before.
ColorCube Posted April 21, 2009 Posted April 21, 2009 Who says it first means nothing after both have said it to each other.
likestolaugh Posted April 21, 2009 Posted April 21, 2009 Who says it first means nothing after both have said it to each other. probably the most useless answer ever. anyway, I've always had a hard time saying it unless I was sure the other person felt the same... and in that case then, it doesn't matter who says it.
Author ratingsguy Posted April 21, 2009 Author Posted April 21, 2009 IMO, hands down, the man! I've never said it first before. Would you guess that this is the opinion of most women?
Trialbyfire Posted April 21, 2009 Posted April 21, 2009 Would you guess that this is the opinion of most women?I can't speak for most women but of my female friends, they would all agree with me.
ColorCube Posted April 21, 2009 Posted April 21, 2009 probably the most useless answer ever. anyway, I've always had a hard time saying it unless I was sure the other person felt the same... and in that case then, it doesn't matter who says it. Why is that the most useless answer ever? It doesn't matter who said it first after each has said it to each other. If you don't like my answer then just don't read it, and certainly you could use a little online manners taught to you.
ColorCube Posted April 21, 2009 Posted April 21, 2009 Would you guess that this is the opinion of most women? I think most women would rather have the man go the romance route and have the guy say I love you to them first. As far as my experience goes it has fallen about on the 50/50 line of who has said I Love You's first, I would caution against telling a woman I Love You unless you really mean it and feel it. Don't say those words because you think they want to hear them. JMO
9Lives Posted April 21, 2009 Posted April 21, 2009 it is better for the man to say it first as a General rule. Feelings scare guys off like you shot them with a bullet. So silly
burningashes Posted April 21, 2009 Posted April 21, 2009 Wow, lots of those "I love you" threads. I started one not too long ago about how I wanted to tell my bf this but were too scared to because I didn't want to come across as "clingy". After I posted, the next few nights I spent with him, I wanted to tell him but never had the courage to until his uncle died and he had to go out of town for a few days. It wasn't until then I realized that I really missed him and I was looking forward to seeing him again, that I realized that I was sure that I love him. It didn't matter then, whether he didn't feel the same or wasn't the first to say it first, I was willing to take the risk and totally open up to him. He was the one who took the initative in everything in this relationship (asking me out, taking me out, etc, etc), that I thought I should be the one who took the initative this time. The night he returned, I told him that I love him and I don't regret it one bit. I'll remember his surprised face, how he asked where that came from. I told him that I wanted him to know how I feel about him, and he smiled, told me he loves me too. It worked out for me, I understand your fears, but it is better to have said it than never said it at all, if you're sure you love the person. Now we tell each other we love each other all the time, and I love it :love:
samspade Posted April 21, 2009 Posted April 21, 2009 The woman has always said it to me first, and so shall it will always be for samspade. That's just me, though. I don't bring up exclusivity or the L-word first because I prefer to take things slowly, AND it's a clearer indication of what the woman is comfortable with if she brings it up. I'm sure you'll get a lot of females posting that they never say it first. What they say they do and what they do are two different things, and I'm willing to bet this rule gets broken a lot. However, I will take Trialbyfire's word for it in this case.
Trialbyfire Posted April 21, 2009 Posted April 21, 2009 However, I will take Trialbyfire's word for it in this case. :laugh: You'd better, 'cause it's true. Men hunt. If they want the hunt to end, they'd better go in for the kill!
samspade Posted April 21, 2009 Posted April 21, 2009 :laugh: You'd better, 'cause it's true. Men hunt. If they want the hunt to end, they'd better go in for the kill! We hunt, but not with our feelings! haha.
Trialbyfire Posted April 21, 2009 Posted April 21, 2009 We hunt, but not with our feelings! haha.I dunno. It must feel something or it wouldn't be worthwhile.
carhill Posted April 21, 2009 Posted April 21, 2009 Saying ILY first is another indicator of a man's confidence and awareness, provided he is sincere. The women who have heard it (always first) from me likely aren't aware they're members of a very small and exclusive group. I take such matters (of the heart) very seriously. In matters of romance, IMO, a man should always take the lead. Saying ILY first and then, later, proactively and often, is one of those matters.
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