zilverenvlinder Posted April 21, 2009 Posted April 21, 2009 I'm getting kind of edgy about this, for some reason. Maybe it's because I'm a chick. And I really think I do love this guy. I think I just realized it about a month ago. It just came to me all of a sudden. I got really, really hammered that night and so did he; we were at the bar, all over each other, all completely wasted, and I told him I loved him, and he said it back. It was obviously just because we were so insanely drunk, but... Does the timing sound appropriate for this sort of thing? Or do you think it would scare him off if I told him sober? And I really don't know if he would say it back and if he didn't it would devastate me.. Dating time: 4.5 months. He has met my parents. I have not met his. (But I'm supposed to in about a week and a half.) Together time: Every Wednesday night, all night. Every Friday and Saturday night all night, for the most part. Other days spent apart. He's really really affectionate with me, calls me his favorite girl in the world... even at a party some guy mentioned a Cozumel cruise he went on, and he replied, "That's where Z and I are going on our honeymoon." LOL. (Again, drunk.) Should I wait for him to say it or should I just wait longer? It's kind of irritating me because every time I'm with him I want to tell him. But I really don't want to scare him off.
Vetgirl88 Posted April 21, 2009 Posted April 21, 2009 He's really really affectionate with me, calls me his favorite girl in the world... even at a party some guy mentioned a Cozumel cruise he went on, and he replied, "That's where Z and I are going on our honeymoon." LOL. (Again, drunk.) I think he's definitely feeling it too, and I think the timing is right. But, if you want, you can ease into by saying things like you're really glad the two of you met, or you're crazy about him, or you love spending time with him. I said all three of those to a boyfriend once, on separate occasions. But, when I said that I loved spending time with him he responded by telling me that he had a leg up on me because not only did he love spending time with me, but he loved me too. So, if you want him to say it first, maybe try that.
Author zilverenvlinder Posted April 21, 2009 Author Posted April 21, 2009 Hmmm...that might work. I will definitely try that!! (Especially since it worked for you...tried and true, right?)
Vetgirl88 Posted April 21, 2009 Posted April 21, 2009 yep... tried and true... I hope it works for you too!
ColorCube Posted April 21, 2009 Posted April 21, 2009 say it during sex , Yeah.. That way if they don't reciprocate you can blame it on the "heat of the moment" and say you didn't mean it
ratingsguy Posted April 21, 2009 Posted April 21, 2009 Does anyone have any rough rules as to how long before the "I love you"s are exchanged?
alphamale Posted April 21, 2009 Posted April 21, 2009 Does anyone have any rough rules as to how long before the "I love you"s are exchanged? 3 to 6 months into exclusive dating is my general rule...but the sex has to be good.
9Lives Posted April 21, 2009 Posted April 21, 2009 I say it is ALWAYS ALWAYS better for the man to say it to you first. Generally men expect us women to say that. I wouldnt tell him. Some men see this as a weakness and think they can get away with things because you love them. I would keep it to myself and let him be the one to bring it back up.
alphamale Posted April 21, 2009 Posted April 21, 2009 I say it is ALWAYS ALWAYS better for the man to say it to you first. Generally men expect us women to say that. I wouldnt tell him. Some men see this as a weakness and think they can get away with things because you love them. I would keep it to myself and let him be the one to bring it back up. i always wait for the woman to say it and trust me i can hold out
Sam Spade Posted April 21, 2009 Posted April 21, 2009 the silly 3 little words don't really change anything in the relationship . They merely provide reassurance to the girl that the relationship is moving forward . I get by all the drama and anxiety simply by starting to sign cards and emails with "love, Sam", and before you know it, everybody is loving everybody
Sam Spade Posted April 21, 2009 Posted April 21, 2009 i always wait for the woman to say it and trust me i can hold out This is perfect to keep things casual in an otherwise satisfying relationship - a perpetual standoff .
alphamale Posted April 21, 2009 Posted April 21, 2009 This is perfect to keep things casual in an otherwise satisfying relationship - a perpetual standoff . women are like cats...they're curious and therefore they eventually give in if you yourself can keep your cake-hole shut.
alphamale Posted April 21, 2009 Posted April 21, 2009 the silly 3 little words don't really change anything in the relationship . They merely provide reassurance to the girl that the relationship is moving forward . do the 3 words "I thee dump" change anything?
Trialbyfire Posted April 21, 2009 Posted April 21, 2009 The men in this thread are only proving why women should wait and let the guy say it first.
carhill Posted April 21, 2009 Posted April 21, 2009 What if it's two guys? My best friend and I garnered a few looks at the Memphis airport last week when he dropped me off. IMO, all these formulas and "who's on first" are just wasting valuable life time. If/when you feel it, say it. You won't die
SoulSearch_CO Posted April 21, 2009 Posted April 21, 2009 The men in this thread are only proving why women should wait and let the guy say it first. :lmao: LMFAO - no ****! Our first "ILY" was very casual. We were discussing the appropriate timeline and that we both had a hard time not closing our phone conversations with "ILY." But we both sat there. I then said, "Well, if you feel it, what's wrong with saying it?" It was more of a hypothetical question - kind of like a deep thought as to why logic always has to win out over feelings. He responded with, "Nothing. I love you," and gave me a kiss. LOL We had been officially "dating" for about 3 weeks, I think...but had known each other for almost 3 months.
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