Why does she keep trying to be friends after 4 months and she has a BF

[Fiaman]

My ex keeps trying to be all buddy with me. She has tried to contact me a couple times a month for 4 months (I been in NC for 4months). At the time I initiated NC she was already in a new reltaionship that she kept a secret from me (she was still saying she wanted to be back with me at the time too). Well, yesterday really pissed me off because she e-mailed me like she had done nothing wrong (even though she had apologized back in February but I think it was a bluff).

 

She's still in this relationship with this guy and I dont know why she tries to even be friends with me and when I say friends, she means hang out on the regular too, not just stay in contact.

 

PLEASE what is with this girl, why does she keep trying to be friends with me? I don't think it is necessary!

[fofiffs]

She's just doing that to get to your head. Friends with ex's never work especially if you were in a long term relatiomship with her. Block her email, phone,etc..Anything that will get her to contact you..

 

It's not worth being her friend especially knowing that she has a BF. Just ignore her and go on about your business..

[Fiaman]

She's just doing that to get to your head. Friends with ex's never work especially if you were in a long term relatiomship with her. Block her email, phone,etc..Anything that will get her to contact you..

 

It's not worth being her friend especially knowing that she has a BF. Just ignore her and go on about your business..

 

I dont get what you mean about getting to my head?

[Groovy]

Speaking from experience myself, she may just not be over you yet. Just because she's with some guy for 4 months doesn't mean she's moved on. I surrounded myself with dates when I broke up with my ex. I even slept with one guy. And still thought about him all the time every day. Not fair to the guy buying me dinner, but true.....

[Fiaman]

Speaking from experience myself, she may just not be over you yet. Just because she's with some guy for 4 months doesn't mean she's moved on. I surrounded myself with dates when I broke up with my ex. I even slept with one guy. And still thought about him all the time every day. Not fair to the guy buying me dinner, but true.....

 

What ended up happening with that? (you and your ex)

 

and about thinking about your ex all the time, she even said in the message she said she saw a dog that looked like my old one and took a picture and tried sending me a picture message but couldnt cause she was roaming, being on vacation

[Groovy]

If your not with her anymore why is a new relationship your business? And maybe she wants to get back with you. But if she isn't with you is she not entitled to see someone else? Did you break up with her or vice versa? Either way she knows you don't want to know about new guys your seeing. What guy does? I would never delve into details about this new guy I'm seeing with an ex.

 

You ask what happened with my ex? Despite being a jerk he had many good qualities as well. But he had some issues that made it hard for him to really give himself to anyone. And as much as he loved me he pushed me away to fight in his own inner turmoils, I guess. I tried to move on by meeting someone who will give me what I want to be happy. I'll always wish him the best of luck.

 

So.. who broke up with who?

[Groovy]

Hmm, just saw your other posts and realized she had another guy brewing while you were still together? I've never cheated and never will. I came close one time and broke up immediately realizing how unhappy I was with everything before I made a mistake. (Not my recent break up but year ago). Move forward I guess? We all make mistakes but I can't imagine feeling I'm with my soul mate or a man of any potential and cheating. Correct me if I'm reading your posts wrong?

[Fiaman]

The story goes... she broke up with me last June due to stupid fighting but strung me along all the way until December (she always said"I wanna be back with you, just not for a while") until I found out she had been with someone since November. Im not saying she's not entitled to a new relationship. Her and I are over, hence why I have been in 4 months NC. I'm just wondering why she feels as if she still has to continue to contact me. I was the one that wanted to get back with her but she had strung me along. If that clears up the situation lol.

 

In that 4 months I have improved so much about my life and have come to realize a girl is not what I need at this point in my life (I'm only 20). I now believe the statement "Only you can make yourself happy" is SOOO true. Do I miss her? Yes. Do I forgive her for what she has done? No, not yet.

 

The good thing is, I feel by being in this relationship I have learned a lot and feel more mature now than I did this time last year.

 

I read one of her little surveys on Facebook after she messaged me cause I was curious and the question was

-----What was the biggest relationship mistake you made? then she answered "I could be mean and say my last one"

 

I just wanted to know why she continues to try and be my friend even though I have ignored her for so long and because apparently our relationship was her biggest mistake, doesn't make sense to me.

[Groovy]

"I wanna be back with you, just not for a while"

 

Hmmm, that just wouldn't fly with me. That's saying "I have other things better to do and am putting you on the back burner because it's convenient and all about me". Unless she truly has some life changing event like cancer, death of a parent, etc. it sounds like she just doesn't care enough to give you what you deserve.

 

As far as her wanting to be friends, it's a difference of men and women. I see a lot more women try and be friends with an ex than a guy try and be friends after. Keeping in touch either makes a man miserable because he still wants her and the contact is painful, when they are friends he's always trying to get her back or he doesn't care at all and doesn't see the point of it. Not absolutetly true but often so. Either way a lot of times one of the two people suffer because one wanted something more and the other didn't. It doesn't sounds like it was a mutual break up.

 

It's up to you if you can handle that. But if you feel it affects you negatively forget friendship and take care of yourself to move on. It's possible she's stringing you along for back up, or just likes talking but doesn't want to be romantic. Either way it sounds like you not getting what you want and I would move on. But that's just me:)

[BCCA]

Two words dude: guilty conscious

 

If you are 'friends', than that means that you dont hate her and she shouldnt have to feel bad for hurting you. After all, how bad could it have been if you still want to be friends?

 

Women try this much more than men for 2 key reasons. 1. Women end most relationships, so naturally theyre going to be the ones saying 'but we can be friends', and 2. guys really dont give a crap if someone hates them. It bothers women to know that someone out there hates them, and its kind of their fault.

 

Are you responding when she contacts you? If so, stop immediately. She just wants to have her cake and eat it, too. She wants to walk out on you, but still have you around in the capacity she prefers. F that.

[Fiaman]

Two words dude: guilty conscious

 

If you are 'friends', than that means that you dont hate her and she shouldnt have to feel bad for hurting you. After all, how bad could it have been if you still want to be friends?

 

Women try this much more than men for 2 key reasons. 1. Women end most relationships, so naturally theyre going to be the ones saying 'but we can be friends', and 2. guys really dont give a crap if someone hates them. It bothers women to know that someone out there hates them, and its kind of their fault.

 

Are you responding when she contacts you? If so, stop immediately. She just wants to have her cake and eat it, too. She wants to walk out on you, but still have you around in the capacity she prefers. F that.

 

I can proudly say out of the 5 or 6 times she has contacted me over the past 4 months, I have not responded at all. I know it probably kills her but GOOD.

 

Good advice

[BCCA]

I can proudly say out of the 5 or 6 times she has contacted me over the past 4 months, I have not responded at all. I know it probably kills her but GOOD.

 

Good advice

 

Well, good man. If you keep ignoring her, she'll give up. She pretty much just wants to hear that you dont hate her, and then she'll officially be done with any use for you. Don't give in, she doesnt have anything to say that you want to hear.