semihibernation Posted April 21, 2009 Posted April 21, 2009 Ok so there's this girl, I dated her seriously for around 3 years starting in my senior year in high school. By now, both of us have matured quite a bit since we first met. Early in our relationship, we were two immature awkward kids, and our relationship revolved around the fact that we talked constantly, were always with each other whenever possible, and we both liked sex. After many issues with long distance since we've gone to college, I am now here today, being told that much of our relationship felt as if we were best friends rather than boyfriend and girlfriend, and that she would like to find someone else that will be able to make her feel like this. As summer is approaching, we will have a few months together, so I have decided that I have to show her that I can make her feel like that. The issue is that I'm not sure how to go about it. Obviously, romantic things, but that can't mean its as simple as getting flowers, chocolate, or other gifts. I need to show this girl that I have grown into a man very different than when she first met me, and that my ability to maintain a strong romantic relationship has matured as well. Anyone have a girl tell them this before? what did you do? Any help is much appreciated!
carhill Posted April 21, 2009 Posted April 21, 2009 Welcome to the rest of your life. Love and leave a few of your own and you'll have a better understanding of the dynamic. The good thing here is it sounds like you had a good time, some great sex and made some good memories. She didn't take your stuff, clean out your bank account and make you feel like it was your fault she did it. Small victories
confused_2008 Posted April 21, 2009 Posted April 21, 2009 ...I have grown into a man very different than when she first met me... There's your problem right there. And I'm sure she's increasingly growing into a woman different than the girl you knew from high school. You can try some grand romantic gestures but you're both fighting an uphill battle called growing up. I know it's so easy for me to sit and write through the internet that it's not looking good for a future, but this seems like a prime example of a relationship running it's course. You two don't seem to be fighting or have any major issues you need to work out, you are just different people now. When a woman doesn't feel that way about you anymore, I don't think there's much you can do about it.
Author semihibernation Posted April 21, 2009 Author Posted April 21, 2009 I definitely understand what you guys are saying... but I can't help but feel like this entire forum is always so pessimistic. Sometimes I wonder how many people come here and are convinced to give up and walk away when all their partner needed was for them to stand up and do something. Trust me I see where you are coming from, and I have my eyes wide open, but I wouldn't be able to simply watch her walk away without making an effort. Thanks for the replies
carhill Posted April 21, 2009 Posted April 21, 2009 We can't convince you or anyone of anything. You have to accept your own truth and make your own decisions. There's a whole pack of us who've tried everything to make a relationship or marriage work and, at some point, one has to decide if continuing is healthy.
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