KarlP Posted April 20, 2009 Posted April 20, 2009 So, I met this girl a few months ago because we both live in the same dorm. I instantly thought she was the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen, but I'm a really shy person and we never really talked much. We were around each other a fair amount, but whenever she was there talking to other people I would stay out of the conversation and not really say anything. Despite the fact that she doesn't really know me very well, I've learned a lot about her and have come to really, really like her. We have similar interests and personalities, I've just been so shy around her that I doubt she has any idea I'm even interested. And, worst of all, now she is in a relationship with another guy, and I'm left heartbroken and full of regret over not getting closer to her. I don't want to break them up or anything, because she seems happy, but its made me so depressed I don't know how I can continue this. I've tried to get over her but I just can't, especially since there is still that feeling of "what if...?" Should I tell her how I feel, even though she is in a relationship and she doesn't know me that well, or would that make her uncomfortable?
samspade Posted April 21, 2009 Posted April 21, 2009 Hey man. I used to go through this in my younger days. I'd hesitate, never make a move, and she'd be dating some other guy. It sucks, but that's why you have to make a move. I can tell you this from experience, and because I know it's conventional wisdom: Do NOT tell her how you feel. You don't realize this, but you don't have the strong feelings for her you think you do. You still have what amounts to a crush, coupled with the heartbreaking knowledge that you might have had a chance but somebody else seized it. Basically, you think this is the only girl for you, so it is causing you to think desperate thoughts because she seems so right for you. The best advice I can give you is to turn your attention elsewhere for now. Sounds like you're in college, so you should have no problem meeting women your age. Start dating around, it will help you in several ways. First, you will have an abundance mentality versus a scarcity mentality. Second, you will get in good practice and plenty of opportunities to make mistakes. Third, it will take your mind off of your crush. Fourth, your crush may take notice - and although she might not break up with her beau, if she does, you will be in a better and more confident place to decide if she really is worth your time. And for future reference, don't be so quiet. Assert yourself, and be funny. The strong silent types play well in the movies, but you will be better served if you work on your charisma. A sense of humor is a great aphrodisiac and a good way to calm your nerves - and hers.
7117 Posted April 21, 2009 Posted April 21, 2009 I agree totally what samspade said.I have been in your shoes a couple times im shy and have watched someone that I thought was the one date someone else.It's not the end of the world it's college so have fun meet other girls god knows there are so many out there trust me.It's tough to wait on the sidelines for this girl but you will be ok. You have to play the field give other girls a chance you never know when you will meet someone else.
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