Would you rather be alone or give somebody a chance that your not really into?

[loser101]

I wouldn't go out with them, because I wouldn't find them hot or interesting enough. Even if I just wanted some no strings sex, I wouldn't do it because of the risk of them becoming obsessed by you, or giving an STD, or getting pregnant.

 

I agree with the first part of your statement, finding someone interesting enough is crucial for me as well. however, not sure about the second part. if you want no strings sex then use protection, nothing wrong with that

[Sam Spade]

I agree 100%, I think people want instant gratification and wont give people a chance. I wasnt even attracted to my ex when I first met her but I ended up spending 10 years with her.

 

To further elaborate, based on mine and friends' experiences I have noticed things such as:

- I used to get annoyed at people for different reasons until it hit me that I was doing many of the things that were annoying me to begin with. So, if I'd want to be given a chance, shouldn't I do the same? So, my s**t stinks too. It doesn't mean thatn I'm not constantly improving, but to approach dating from the standpoint of a perfect ice queen - there's nothing wrong with me, so how dare you noe be perfect - is just childish .

 

- the question of priorities - waiting for someone to satisfy *all* of your needs (and with zero effort on your part) is futile, in most cases there is some element of tradeoffs. Example: a friend used to date a very cute and submissive girl that was really into him; he broke up with her because she wasn't challenging enough or something like that, which I can relate to. Now he has a smart and educated and challenging/stubborn girlfriend who however is aloof and pretty much treats him like crap emotionally. So he'd love to be able to go back to the cute and submissive one . Sure, in theory it is possible to find a girl that's both sweet and challenging, but that's contingent on so many idiosyncratic factors, that again begs the question if it is worth it. Plus she'd have something else "wrong" with her, such as not liking to cook or whatever. (Actually, my ex was both sweet and highly educated/challenging, but she was an emotional mess, so there you go .)

 

(and none of the above is about physical attraction, to one extent or another it must be present, of course!)

 

Finally, almost everybody can "do better" as far as partners are concerned. But, is it worth waiting unspecified amount of time or forever to do so? That's a personal question. I believe that if people keep their egos in check and are sincerely committed to a relationship, most relationships can work out great. I've withessed one relationship of so-called soulmates, where everything seems to be perfect, and even in that case it was hard work and counselling at some point.