SummerLady Posted April 20, 2009 Posted April 20, 2009 For folks that you have dated before do the standard dating practices apply, like don't call to much or seem to interested, you know when you are courting someone new, keep the challenge in the beginning so that he does not lose interest ect...I would think no as you have a history with this person. I am thinking I may have come on to strong and maybe scared him away as I really wanted to see him soon. But I would think no as this is an old flame with history. Thoughts??????
lonelypiscesguy Posted April 20, 2009 Posted April 20, 2009 OMG. This sounds so eerily familiar...my now ex GF carried a torch for me for 26 years. Long story short, I blew it with her. But, she pursued me to the point where I relented and was and am still more flattered than I have ever been. As a guy, and I can't speak for my bretheren but I will anyway, I think it safe to say, we are so overwhelmed with the thought of being the pursued rather than the pursuer, which is our role, after all, that a guy can't help but submit to the will of a woman who is dead set on capturing her game. I say go for it! If your instincts are telling you to mellow out, then maybe you should. In fact, that could be a good 'mud check' for him, if he is at all interested and you start backing off, he will become the hunter, if you get my drift. I hope my ramblings help even just a little, and if they do, promise me you won't report me the He-Man Woman Haters Club for helping you. I'll get kicked out!
Excellent Posted April 20, 2009 Posted April 20, 2009 I agree. I'll have to admit that it was the attention i got from my ex that made me interested and eventually fall in love with her. In the beginning i didn't have the slightest interest in her. But there more attention i got, the more interested i became.
Author SummerLady Posted April 20, 2009 Author Posted April 20, 2009 OMG. This sounds so eerily familiar...my now ex GF carried a torch for me for 26 years. Long story short, I blew it with her. But, she pursued me to the point where I relented and was and am still more flattered than I have ever been. As a guy, and I can't speak for my bretheren but I will anyway, I think it safe to say, we are so overwhelmed with the thought of being the pursued rather than the pursuer, which is our role, after all, that a guy can't help but submit to the will of a woman who is dead set on capturing her game. I say go for it! If your instincts are telling you to mellow out, then maybe you should. In fact, that could be a good 'mud check' for him, if he is at all interested and you start backing off, he will become the hunter, if you get my drift. I hope my ramblings help even just a little, and if they do, promise me you won't report me the He-Man Woman Haters Club for helping you. I'll get kicked out! Thanks that is great feedback. I am def taking a step back on this one and see what happens. Thanks again!!
Author SummerLady Posted April 20, 2009 Author Posted April 20, 2009 I agree. I'll have to admit that it was the attention i got from my ex that made me interested and eventually fall in love with her. In the beginning i didn't have the slightest interest in her. But there more attention i got, the more interested i became. Excellent I hear what you are saying BUT how does a guy differentiate a woman that is persistent versus needy(obsessed). I do not think I came across needy or obsessed BUT he has withdrawn a tad. See what I am saying?
Excellent Posted April 20, 2009 Posted April 20, 2009 Excellent I hear what you are saying BUT how does a guy differentiate a woman that is persistent versus needy(obsessed). I do not think I came across needy or obsessed BUT he has withdrawn a tad. See what I am saying? Thats a tough one, i guess that varies from person to person how they react to this, regardless the sex. If i got calls and was showered in texts every single day, i guess i would become a little sceptic, depending on what the subjects would be. But thats just me. This is an old flame, yes? Who initiated the breakup, if there was any real breakup.
Author SummerLady Posted April 20, 2009 Author Posted April 20, 2009 Thats a tough one, i guess that varies from person to person how they react to this, regardless the sex. If i got calls and was showered in texts every single day, i guess i would become a little sceptic, depending on what the subjects would be. But thats just me. This is an old flame, yes? Who initiated the breakup, if there was any real breakup. Firstoff I never ever called him everyday or emailed him everyday. He broke up with me 10 years ago. Most recently I would email him 2-3 days a week at max. We would talk on the phone about 2-4 times a month. After about 3-4 months of back and forth, mutal communication I find that I am initiating mostly all of the contact and he has withdrawn. He has told me that he is trying to get his life in order due to his recent divorce and I do believe this but I am disappointed that he does not make a concentrated effort to talk to me or make solid plans to see me, date place time, he lives not close to me. He says we are going to see each other in the summer BUT with the lack of communication recently I wonder. I have never chased him BUT I have been very clear that I am interested in seeing him and revisiting our realtionship. Thoughts???
Chinook Posted April 20, 2009 Posted April 20, 2009 It doesn't sound to me that he's in the same place as you are with it. Give him time to catch up! He needs to see it and understand what's happening. Dont go too overboard and smother him.
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