GweStar Posted April 20, 2009 Posted April 20, 2009 I love martial arts and I have a black belt in aikido. The last two or three weeks, my boyfriend has been joking around, teasing me, and saying that I could never take him, because he is bigger and stronger and that he is a guy and I’m a girl and bla bla bla. He even asks me to do some aikido moves on him! Until now I have ignored him, but he keeps at it!! I’m starting to think that maybe I should do what he asks for and prove to him how wrong he is. Maybe that’s what he wants? He works out and has a great body but he admits that he has never trained any martial arts, wrestling or any fighting ever in his life – while I have done martial arts since I was 7 (I'm 20 now) and train 4 times/week now… Why do you think he acts like this and should I show him some aikido moves (not hurt him of course but just show him that I could throw him and hold him down)?
loser101 Posted April 20, 2009 Posted April 20, 2009 yeah! definitely. tell us what that felt like afterwards please!!
Bejita463 Posted April 20, 2009 Posted April 20, 2009 Coming from an (inactive) instructor: Part of your training should be self discipline, and this situation is where that comes in. Honestly, if you know you could best him if you tried, there is no realistic point to doing so. His belief is not relevant to the facts. A bit of information I used to offer my students: If you are not completely certain you can win a fight, do not risk it. If you are certain you can win, why bother? There are always times the fight is forced on you, but this isn't one of those times, is it? Don't let his words get to you. You know the truth, and if he cannot accept that truth without proof he is either demonstrating a new side of his personality for you, is intimidated by your skill, or both.
loser101 Posted April 20, 2009 Posted April 20, 2009 OP: please ignore poster above and revert to my post.
JohnnyBlaze Posted April 20, 2009 Posted April 20, 2009 You might want to remind him that it's a lose-lose proposition for him. If he fights you and loses, he has just been beaten by a girl. If he wins, he can't gloat to anyone. What accolades would he receive by telling his buddies "Hey, I beat my girlfriend"? As much as I would like to say "yes, teach him a lesson. Beat his a** like a runaway", at this point, I'm going to vote not to. You know you can take him, so there's nothing for you to gain by it (other than shutting him up, but he'll find something else. He'll have to). Of course, if he decides to 'prove' that he can take you, don't hesitate to put him flat on his back, in no uncertain terms.
Els Posted April 20, 2009 Posted April 20, 2009 As long as you can make it something light-hearted and just-for-fun, why not? While I've read the self-discipline tenet (apparently taekwondo and aikido have that in common huh?), it'll be NOTHING like a real fight. If anything, more like friendly sparring. If he can't take the loss, I don't know about you, but I would certainly reconsider being with someone who throws a hissy fit about me beating him in something, when it was he who offered to compete in the first place. I assume you'll know how to show good sportsmanship and just laugh it off with him if you win instead of provoking him with 'I told you so's, though.
Ruby Slippers Posted April 20, 2009 Posted April 20, 2009 If you really think you can beat him, and you are SURE he could handle being beaten by you, go for it. I think it could be very hot. But beware: I beat my ex at darts ONCE, and he got VERY VERY bent out of shape. I was shocked that he would take it so personally, when I considered it friendly fun, and he had beaten me dozens of times before. I also kicked his ass at tennis every time we played -- I played competitively all through high school, and he hadn't played since childhood and expected to be able to take me. He would get SO PISSED every time I beat him, though he demanded I not give him the game. I will confess to you all that during our first match, I didn't have the heart to beat him 6-0, 6-0, so I gave him one game. NEVER told him, never would. I thought he was totally confident and self-assured, until I bested him at a few things and saw his insecurity and jealousy come out. It wasn't pretty.
Els Posted April 20, 2009 Posted April 20, 2009 I thought he was totally confident and self-assured, until I bested him at a few things and saw his insecurity and jealousy come out. It wasn't pretty. Aren't you glad you found out then, instead of many years down the line and a few kids later, though?
boldjack Posted April 20, 2009 Posted April 20, 2009 Gwestar , Of course. There is nothing that solidifies a relationship better than humiliating your SO. Kick his a**. While your at it, call attention to how "hot", other guys are, or make fun of his sexual ability. These are bona fide relationship builders. Surely you know that it isn't worth it. To beat him at tennis or cards or darts, doesn't question his virility, you thumping on him, would. Yes, he's being a little immature, but you are also. I've taken MA myself and one of the first things I learned was not to be goaded into a fight. If his needling you is bothersome, so that you would forget what you have learned about the spiritual aspect of MA, then maybe you aren't as well trained as you think.
Enema Posted April 20, 2009 Posted April 20, 2009 What sort of rules are you going to put on this little bout? Full contact? Striking? Submission? Because that's the only way you could "prove him wrong" if his strength lies in his errgh... strength. Otherwise it'll just be a silly sparring match that means nothing.
Ruby Slippers Posted April 20, 2009 Posted April 20, 2009 Any chance he's got a secret submissive side and wants you to whoop his ass because he would find it hot? Aren't you glad you found out then, instead of many years down the line and a few kids later, though? Yeah. I actually thought it was very big of him to admit that he was jealous of me for certain abilities I had. He said he thought I kicked ass and didn't want to feel jealous, but couldn't help it. I appreciated his honesty. Unfortunately, I think his insecurities and doubts went way deeper than I could ever reach to reassure them -- and believe me, I tried.
Shin0bi1 Posted April 20, 2009 Posted April 20, 2009 Put a bunch of submission moves and make him feel the pain, moderately ofcourse, of "this-what-it-would-feel-like-if-you-actually-attack-me" type of stuff. And while you are doing this and he is yelping like a baby, keep flipping him around in different angles and keep him in anticipation of the next wave of pain. Don't forget to constantly remind him that you are a little girl and that he is not acting what you consider to be a man. I also think if you crack any joints for the sound impact not actually hurting him ofcourse will psychologically invoke more "pain" than there already is. And when he has enough, and tapping out, and on the verge of losing it and the neighbors are hearing his cries of mercy...wait 3 more seconds and then let him go. After he gathers his composure and realize he got his ass handed... tell him you went easy on him and that was a warm up and now you are ready to take him on for the real deal. Have fun and be safe -Shin0bi1
xpaperxcutx Posted April 20, 2009 Posted April 20, 2009 I think OP shouldn't prove anything. Martial Arts are about self- defense, and to use it for something as to prove oneself to one's bf is unnecessary. The boyfriend is childish and juvenile in his taunts. If anything, he should work on his self esteem and his chauvinism. Yes woman can fight, and we are not weak at that. At least we're intelligent enough to not push for an unnecessary fight. Now, OP, if you truly feel you have to get him off your back, make sure the both of are in the bedroom, when you flip him onto the bed. Then you pounce on him like a animal. You'll prove you can handle him on the bed and if anything, he got incredible sex out of it.
Enema Posted April 21, 2009 Posted April 21, 2009 I think OP shouldn't prove anything. Martial Arts are about self- defense, and to use it for something as to prove oneself to one's bf is unnecessary. Martial arts isn't just about self-defense. It's also a competitive sport (eg. Muay Thai) and a display art (eg. Tae kwon do). (yes, I sneer at tkd) Yes woman can fight, and we are not weak at that. This is the type of thinking that gets women hurt IRL. Even with years of training, a woman can very rarely hold her own against a man in a physical confrontation. I've been training Muay Thai for many years, have had professional fights and am very competent. I spar full-contact multiple times a week, sometimes against women. But, I know the reality that as a small guy (5'7") I am at an immediate disadvantage versus a bigger, taller opponent and all the training in the world can't erase that advantage. Do you know why there are no aikido champions in free-style martial arts tournaments like the K1?
Trialbyfire Posted April 21, 2009 Posted April 21, 2009 There are some things you can compete with your b/f over and other things that are best left alone. When it comes to athletic abilities, it's the latter.
Author GweStar Posted April 21, 2009 Author Posted April 21, 2009 As long as you can make it something light-hearted and just-for-fun, why not? While I've read the self-discipline tenet (apparently taekwondo and aikido have that in common huh?), it'll be NOTHING like a real fight. If anything, more like friendly sparring. If he can't take the loss, I don't know about you, but I would certainly reconsider being with someone who throws a hissy fit about me beating him in something, when it was he who offered to compete in the first place. I assume you'll know how to show good sportsmanship and just laugh it off with him if you win instead of provoking him with 'I told you so's, though. Yes, of course if I do it - it will be just for fun and in a friendly way
Author GweStar Posted April 21, 2009 Author Posted April 21, 2009 Any chance he's got a secret submissive side and wants you to whoop his ass because he would find it hot? QUOTE] Who knows!? But that's one of my theories
Author GweStar Posted April 21, 2009 Author Posted April 21, 2009 Gwestar , Of course. There is nothing that solidifies a relationship better than humiliating your SO. Kick his a**. While your at it, call attention to how "hot", other guys are, or make fun of his sexual ability. These are bona fide relationship builders. Surely you know that it isn't worth it. To beat him at tennis or cards or darts, doesn't question his virility, you thumping on him, would. Yes, he's being a little immature, but you are also. I've taken MA myself and one of the first things I learned was not to be goaded into a fight. If his needling you is bothersome, so that you would forget what you have learned about the spiritual aspect of MA, then maybe you aren't as well trained as you think. Why would it be humiliating for him if I showed him some martial arts techniques? That doesn't make sense. I've been training for years and he has no training - it's only natural if I am better than him! But I know that it a guy can be embarrassed if he loses to a girl in a sport and it feels a bit wrong to use aikido on someone who doesn't know it - that's why I have refused to do it so far, even though he is insisting... On the other hand he is literally asking me to show him - and his teasing is getting irritating. Of course if I show him I won't do more than I have to and I definitly won't rub it in, or try to humiliate him: he is my boyfriend!
Alex_M Posted April 21, 2009 Posted April 21, 2009 god i would like to get beaten up by my girlfriend, sounds like fun, then I would say I was going easy because I didn't want to hurt them of course. Then she would say "oh ok" and still respect me. But I think we would both know -- Ideal situation. As long as it's playful, it can be hot. If it's disrespectful and you're actually just kicking his ass then that's just humiliating. Do it in bed or something
MN randomguy Posted April 21, 2009 Posted April 21, 2009 In theory it would be hot. If you do, don't bring it up again, unless he talks about it. Don't do it in front of a bunch of people or anything. BUt, yeah a GF that could kick my ass would be pretty damn hot. I like strong women.
You'reasian Posted April 21, 2009 Posted April 21, 2009 I love martial arts and I have a black belt in aikido. The last two or three weeks, my boyfriend has been joking around, teasing me, and saying that I could never take him, because he is bigger and stronger and that he is a guy and I’m a girl and bla bla bla. He even asks me to do some aikido moves on him! Until now I have ignored him, but he keeps at it!! I’m starting to think that maybe I should do what he asks for and prove to him how wrong he is. Maybe that’s what he wants? He works out and has a great body but he admits that he has never trained any martial arts, wrestling or any fighting ever in his life – while I have done martial arts since I was 7 (I'm 20 now) and train 4 times/week now… Why do you think he acts like this and should I show him some aikido moves (not hurt him of course but just show him that I could throw him and hold him down)? Next time you're in an open area with softer terrain and you embrace, quickcly and suddenly pull an inner or outer leg reap, follow him into a mount, use your legs to plant hooks under his hips (take away his base) and then tell him "I want you and I want to take you NOW!"
MN randomguy Posted April 21, 2009 Posted April 21, 2009 Next time you're in an open area with softer terrain and you embrace, quickcly and suddenly pull an inner or outer leg reap, follow him into a mount, use your legs to plant hooks under his hips (take away his base) and then tell him "I want you and I want to take you NOW!" +1 That's what I'm talkin' 'bout!!
Trialbyfire Posted April 21, 2009 Posted April 21, 2009 It's not love until you beat him up. :lmao: What a brute! *fans self*
You'reasian Posted April 21, 2009 Posted April 21, 2009 +1 That's what I'm talkin' 'bout!! Hopefully, she'd roll him into her guard after saying that and do a really, really light triangle choke - man's gotta breath now and then
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