SpanksTheMonkey Posted April 20, 2009 Posted April 20, 2009 Hi guys well just about right for me I find myself in a dilemma my dating site activities have kinda gotten me down a bit. 1st off the guy I originally signed up to talk to seamed to disappear right after a payed my 25 bucks **Sigh** OK fair enough what ever moving on. Now it seams the men I am getting the bulk of attention from are all in there 50s and up! I'm only 31 thats got me puzzled I guess its just older guys wanting younger women. And now for the icing on my cake I just got a nice email from a guy who fits what I would like except hes black. Ive dated black guys before and please don't take me as a raciest but at this point in my life id just rater date some one with in my own race. Just that fact alone is making me feel horrible I'm not raciest so why dose this make me feel bad? I'm 31 I just want to find a nice guy who I can maybe live the rest of my life with. He doesn't have to be "hot" or make allot of money my wish list isn't that big just a few basic wants/things. So maybe that said and after having my last relationship being abusive/****ty I'm just overly picky I dunno. I don't want to ignore the guy but I just don't know what to say if I respond? I don't want to be rude or lead him on or be hurtfull... Dose not wanting to date out of your race or not being attracted to them make you a raciest? Honestly it would also prob remind me of my one ex allot and thats not good ether bad memories there this upsets me.. :(:(
Dexter Morgan Posted April 20, 2009 Posted April 20, 2009 Ive dated black guys before and please don't take me as a raciest but at this point in my life id just rater date some one with in my own race. There is nothing racist about that whatsoever.
Girlygirl1977 Posted April 20, 2009 Posted April 20, 2009 I agree that there is nothing racist about it if you prefer to date within your own race or if you are not attracted to people of other races. I am a bit confused as to why this is so important to you that started a thread. That may be the bigger issue here. It seems thoughts about a previous relationship are resurfacing for you and you maybe didn't deal with it fully? At any rate - you can like who you wish and if you haven't dealt with your past - please do. I would advise you not to contact anyone really till you do (including this guy you mentioned).
Jaytb Posted April 20, 2009 Posted April 20, 2009 Dose not wanting to date out of your race or not being attracted to them make you a raciest? No, it just means you're a bad speller. In all seriousness there's nothing wrong with having a preference for staying within your race. You can tell him that you're not interested. That's all you need to say.
moman Posted April 20, 2009 Posted April 20, 2009 Not at all, it's called having a preference. I'm white and 95% of white women turn me off, and 50% of black women turn me on. Maybe I'm racist against my own race?
IcemanJB Posted April 20, 2009 Posted April 20, 2009 As others have said, it's a preference. You're not racist. I have blond hair and blue eyes, but am not usually attracted to blond haired blue eyed women. I like darker hair and eyes. A lot of times this can mean she is not from a European background. Does that make me a racist...against myself?
Chicago_Guy Posted April 20, 2009 Posted April 20, 2009 I don't understand why the OP is even worrying about this at all. Even considering dating someone just so they don't think you are racist seems foolish to me.
Author SpanksTheMonkey Posted April 21, 2009 Author Posted April 21, 2009 Hi again guys thanks for the replies well I wasn't sure if it means I am one to be honest and that was disturbing to me thats why I started the thread. That and I wasn't sure how to reply to the guy with out being rude I hate to do that to people. No I'm over that old relationship completely it years and years ago now it turned out the guy was trying to bed one of my best friends almost the hole time we were together. Even buying her expensive gifts behind my back when we were all out together and spending my bday with her and then lieing about it to me that was the bad memories I was referring to. OK its nice to know this is a normal feeling and nothing to be worried about... Ps I blame any spelling errors on spell check lol...
39388 Posted April 21, 2009 Posted April 21, 2009 OK its nice to know this is a normal feeling and nothing to be worried about... Ps I blame any spelling errors on spell check lol... You can date whoever you want. You better not have any spelling errors in your dating profile though.
Author SpanksTheMonkey Posted April 21, 2009 Author Posted April 21, 2009 You can date whoever you want. You better not have any spelling errors in your dating profile though. lol no chance of that for 25 bucks I got the super spell checker as an optional extra heck I went all out...
kiki30 Posted April 21, 2009 Posted April 21, 2009 Sure you can date who you want, but if you are not considering dating someone who you think has potential on the basis of their race, and only willing to date someone from the same racial background on account of their race... obviously you feel that the race of the person carries with it a particular meaning ... or you wouldn't be thinking about this... let's be real
Author SpanksTheMonkey Posted April 21, 2009 Author Posted April 21, 2009 It carries a meaning far as its just not what I'm attracted to at this point in my life thats about it I don't hate black people I don't hate/dislike anybody..
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