Scorpian Posted April 20, 2009 Posted April 20, 2009 After 1 month NC, I felt pretty good and decided to contact him so he can pick up some of his belongings. I sounded uppity on the phone but he didn't. He said he will contact me to pick up his things. So on Friday, I sent him an e-mail saying Hi and to have a nice weekend. (BIG MISTAKE). He never replied. So of course this weekend, I got hurt all over again, not so intense but shows I wasn't ready to contact him and haven't really healed. SO OF COURSE I AM GOING TO GO NC. And as far as I'm concerned, after he totally ignored me, I just want to mail his stuff back to him. Why should I hang on to them for when he's ready and to have my wound re opened. What do you think?
carhill Posted April 20, 2009 Posted April 20, 2009 I just want to mail his stuff back to him. Good idea Nothing like taping a package shut to provide some closure...
PinkRibbon Posted April 20, 2009 Posted April 20, 2009 I wouldn't wast my money on postage. Obviously they are not too important to him. Mail if you want but I would put them in a plastic bag and drop them on his front stoop.
Truly Lost Posted April 20, 2009 Posted April 20, 2009 Did he break up with you? I wouldn't contact him again, no matter what. Who cares about his things. If he wants to get them back then he needs to make the arrangements with you. Hopefully its not a lot of stuff that can't just be thrown in a bag and placed to the side. Who knows, maybe he doesn't care to get his things back.
jessicasilver Posted April 20, 2009 Posted April 20, 2009 After 1 month NC, I felt pretty good and decided to contact him so he can pick up some of his belongings. I sounded uppity on the phone but he didn't. He said he will contact me to pick up his things. So on Friday, I sent him an e-mail saying Hi and to have a nice weekend. (BIG MISTAKE). He never replied. So of course this weekend, I got hurt all over again, not so intense but shows I wasn't ready to contact him and haven't really healed. SO OF COURSE I AM GOING TO GO NC. And as far as I'm concerned, after he totally ignored me, I just want to mail his stuff back to him. Why should I hang on to them for when he's ready and to have my wound re opened. What do you think? no no no dont even mail his stuff to him... the fact is if you were completely over him you wouldnt even contact him, just throw his **** in the bin and dont look back!!! time to stop feeling sorry for yourself and yes NO CONTACT is the way to go!! im in the same suitation as you, i thought i was ready to talk to him so i agreed to be friends after no contact but now im as hurt as i was in the start!! we can do this
Author Scorpian Posted April 20, 2009 Author Posted April 20, 2009 I guess mailing his stuff back would show him I'm reacting to him ignoring my e-mail. I won't mail it, and won't contact him. So what happens when and if he contacts me for his stuff? Do I get dolled up and personally meet up with him and make sure I'm going out with my girlfriends right after?
carhill Posted April 20, 2009 Posted April 20, 2009 That's why I'd do the last "right thing" and end any semblance of a connection. Then, complete NC would feel just and healthy. This presumes that the postage cost would not place an undue burden on you. IMO, when ending a relationship, our actions show who we are. I like to feel positive in such circumstances. YMMV, of course
Author Scorpian Posted April 20, 2009 Author Posted April 20, 2009 So Carhill you're saying I should mail it? Not alot of postage, not alot of things. Would cost me $8 bucks to cross the bridge to put it on his front steps but I don't want to bother with the trip. What's YMMV?
carhill Posted April 20, 2009 Posted April 20, 2009 YMMV = Your mileage may vary = your experience may differ It all depends on the value you attach to the action (or inaction). Me? Eight bucks and a free pickup at my door = closure. I moved a whole house full of stuff for the start of my closure.
shine_on Posted April 20, 2009 Posted April 20, 2009 I just did that too. I haven't spoken to him in a month, since he dumped me. I hadn't replied to his email of two and a half weeks ago when he said that he missed me. I felt quite smug and happy about that. But yesterday I cracked, emailed him saying I miss him and does he still miss me? And some other stuff about getting my stuff back. He emailed back a polite message to say that it was nice to hear from me, I'll organise your stuff and send it to you and that he would call me tonight. He didn't call. It really feels like that first day that I was dumped. I just feel like he has forgotten me and is totally rejecting my friendship aswell.
carhill Posted April 20, 2009 Posted April 20, 2009 Oh, sorry, thought it was eight bucks postage, not the bridge toll. I'd still do the postage thing personally...
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