kels Posted October 17, 2003 Posted October 17, 2003 I just got out of a 4 1/2 year relationship with who was supposed to be "the one". Who knows what happened, he changed I guess, but now, just over 2 months later, I am actually pretty happy and excited to be single and dating again. Just before breaking out of my relationship, I had a psuedo crush on a guy. It was an innocent crush before the breakup and then became a full blown "I need to have this guy" after the breakup. I inquired about him to some of my friends who labeled him as a total player. I was bummed, but than realized that a relationship is the last thing I want right now and I just need to have fun. So, just 6 weeks after the breakup, I ran into this guy out at a club. He knew right away that I was interested and it was obvious he was very interested too. We had hung out casually in our circle of friend's months prior and knew of one another from the group. So, we had already been acquainted. We hung out all night and were very touchy feely and knew that we were going home with each other that night. And that we did! It was amazing! We had the best sex and were extremely attracted to one another. The passion was intense....we just fit perfectly. Once it was time to pass out, I decided it was best that I leave. I just wasn't in the mood to drag the morning out by lying there. So, at 5:30am I bailed. I told him I would call to say hi the next day. Especially, since i was the bailing, I thought it would be a good gesture to call first. I called the next night to say hi and thank him for a lovely night. He returned my call the next night. We spoke breifly and I ended the call by saying that I would call sometime during the week. I basically just wanted him to know that this is real casual and since I already heard he was a player, I was trying to play it real cool too. I waited to call him until 4 days later on a Thursday evening and of course got his voicemail. I left a message just asking how he is doing and what he's up to. I ran into his friends out that night. I asked what he was up to and they said he was out with a girl, doing what he does. I acted totally cool and just laughed and never asked about him again, but they hung out with me the rest of the night. Well, he returned my call the next night inviting me out with he and his friends for dinner and drinks. I hung out with him that whole night and he was super affectionate, holding hands and petting. We knew ultimately that we were going to end up at his place for another night of marathon sex. It was fantastic again! We had the best time and he seemed very into me.....very sweet and sensual. He's very interested in getting ot know more about me. This time, I stayed all night and morning until we woke up. He cuddled me the whole time. Upon leaving that morning, we both agreed that we needed to spend some "normal" time together other than just sex. I took that as he really likes me. We kissed goodbye and he said that "he or I should call soon" (total non-commitment) and we'll get together to do something normal. Well, I decided that I definitely wasn't going to be the one to call first. This was on a Saturday morning. It's already Friday, the next week and he still hasn't called. This is where I need advice! How long do I wait to call? See, I feel as if maybe I'm playing him as much as he usually plays girls. If I just think about how I was the one who bailed at 5:30am the first night we slept together. Also, he knows I just got out of a long relationship and that I am showing no signs of being emotionally involved with him. Maybe I'm playing it too cool. I definitely know he is into to me. But, he is not very good about the whole calling thing. So, should I be the one calling? Do you think he is just playing hard to get? Ohhhhhhh to be back in the dating game! kels
ArdeaCandidissima Posted October 17, 2003 Posted October 17, 2003 Do you think he is just playing hard to get? Ummm...not really. Sounds like almost anyone can "get" him - between the sheets once or twice. Did you want to get him for something else? Like a committed relationship? Evrything you've said shows that he is not willing or able to give you or others that at this time. Kissing, cuddling, talking and inviting you out are actually seduction tactics, not evidence of caring. If you want more from him than you already got, you will be disappointed. I recommend forgetting you ever saw this guy. Enjoy the memories, if you like, and consider that you got off easy.
Author kels Posted October 17, 2003 Author Posted October 17, 2003 WoW! Well, thanks for the very honest opinion to my situation. I will definitely take this into consideration. I absolutely do not want a relationship with this person. I just enjoy spending time with him, but of course, as it always is, the more time spent, the more time I will want to spend. I know that I will see him out again. So, I will definitely not call him until he does, if he does, but no sweat off my back. I know there is someone more suited for me out there.
ArdeaCandidissima Posted October 22, 2003 Posted October 22, 2003 I'm glad it was helpful. Recreational sex may be great for those who can handle it and keep it in perspective. For the rest of us, it can be confusing and hurtful. I agree that you have a wonderful guy in your future because you sound confident and sexy, and that's what the good ones go for. Bonne chance!
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