Peaceandlove Posted April 19, 2009 Posted April 19, 2009 Why is it that when you have sex with a guy quite early on and then he brushes you off that you can't stop thinking about him?
EYECANDY000 Posted April 19, 2009 Posted April 19, 2009 I hope you don't mean thinking about him in a good way?
Author Peaceandlove Posted April 19, 2009 Author Posted April 19, 2009 Thinking about him/ both good and bad- how to get back at him etc.
engravefeelthevoid Posted April 19, 2009 Posted April 19, 2009 sex is like a drug...he makes u feel good...then he leaves...meaning that he has the good feeling and he took it away...then comes "we want what we can't get" then u keep thinking abt him and how he made u feel good...but trust me if ur an experienced girl who boned many guy....the drug wont be as strong....u cud bone and ditch quikly without feelings... i know it sounds silly but this is the truth...
MN randomguy Posted April 19, 2009 Posted April 19, 2009 Oxytocin, It's the bonding chemical that is released in your brain when you have sex. It was beneficial to humans before birth control and the sexual revolution. Then, a young woman's sexual partner would be the father of her children. So, it was advantageous to the children to keep a father around to protect and provide. Mom became emotionally attached to dad and would put-up with him and it kept the family together. As the previous poster mentioned this bond weakens with each successive sexual partner. Ever hear people say that virgins are clingy when you have casual sex with them? I've heard of a demonstration in youth group as a kid where you take a piece of duck tape and put it on a person's arm. Then, you take it off and put it on the next person's arm. each time the tape loses some of its stickiness and picks up arm hair from each person. By the 20th person it doesn't stick at all. The OP of the Golden Key thread has discovered he can use this to make a girl stick around when young women are flighty and always looking for more drama and attention.
xpaperxcutx Posted April 19, 2009 Posted April 19, 2009 Casual sex isn't for everyone. Not everyone are mentally prepared.
carhill Posted April 19, 2009 Posted April 19, 2009 Even for those without otherwise addictive personalities, sex, especially orgasmic sex, is a strong "motivator". Orgasmic sex within the context of an emotional bond is incredibly motivating. Take that away suddenly and it's like detoxing for a heroin addict or alcoholic. Watch out. Add into that mix psychological issues of some sort (which few of us are absent of) and it can become a witches brew of warped emotion and thought. Temporary insanity So, IMO, the best way to handle casual sex is to not play or to consciously train oneself to ignore the psycho-chemical impact of the act. Practice makes perfect, as another poster alluded to
SoulSearch_CO Posted April 20, 2009 Posted April 20, 2009 As the previous poster mentioned this bond weakens with each successive sexual partner. Ever hear people say that virgins are clingy when you have casual sex with them? I've heard of a demonstration in youth group as a kid where you take a piece of duck tape and put it on a person's arm. Then, you take it off and put it on the next person's arm. each time the tape loses some of its stickiness and picks up arm hair from each person. By the 20th person it doesn't stick at all. VERY interesting. I've heard of oxytocin, but I hadn't heard this about the bond weakening.
MN randomguy Posted April 20, 2009 Posted April 20, 2009 VERY interesting. I've heard of oxytocin, but I hadn't heard this about the bond weakening. well you can't be totally committed to 20 different people at the same time. Oxytocin is released at orgasm. There is a natural way your brain reacts. However, if that proves to be harmful you will adapt. Simple conditioning psychology.
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