julio2 Posted April 19, 2009 Posted April 19, 2009 Hi, I have a situation that I don't know how to feel and would like some input. My fiance and I met up for the talk. I noticed she wasn't wearing my ring. She said she didn't believe that we should get married. A little history, she is a big pessimistic - always thinks the worse will happen. I on the other hand, try stay positive and optomistic. So I kinda prepared myself in case for the worse, and I highlighted that we do have issues we just never worked on them. We didn't know how to communicate but I would like to turn this weakness into a strength. She said it was too late. I then suggested MC and reading the book His Needs, Her Needs. She said, what's the point? She said she effed everything up by not wearing the ring - which means she didn't believe in us. She was crying as I was trying to reassure her that it would be possible for a chance to work it out. We started talking about some of the issues we've been having and it really helped! However, then she started talking about how we won't change as ppl and that's who we are. She also said that she's scared that things won't change between us and that we'll fight again. Her biggest complaint was the amount that we're fighting and how we are. I agree with her 100%, I believe that we can learn from it and be better communicators so that we're not fighting. I'm not sure what to think, I really want to make things work. Could there be someone else? I don't believe so but I've read what happens to alot of ppl in the forums which scares me. However, upon thinking, her not believing in us is kinda hurtful. At the end of the night, she asked for one more week to think things through. She was crying as she was saying sorry that she didn't believe in us and that I will resent her. I don't know how to feel about that. I understand that she's a negative person, but is taking the ring off symbolic to it's over? Her claim was that the ring symoblized everything was great between us when it really wasn't, so that's why she took it off. I don't think she meant to show it off as she's single. This has opened up another issue for me, and that is what will she do when the hard times come - will she run away? I want someone that will fight for us. I don't think she expected me to fight for our relationship. Upon leaving, she did say she would start reading the book and we briefly talked about MC. I can live with her taking off the ring, but I'll need reassurance that she'll be there by my side. So what do you guys think? I love her and want to work on our issues. I know nobody knows her best other than me, but it's nice to have an outsider looking in. Thanks for your advice.
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