Marina09 Posted April 19, 2009 Posted April 19, 2009 Hey guys! Well, on my last post I has just found out my ex boyfriend already had a new girlfriend. (http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t183033/) There are some days that I feel normally happy, but there are others where I just can't stop thinking about him and that new girl. So one of those terrible days I asked one of my friends who was that girl, and she told me if was not her ex, as I thought, it is a new girl that nobody knew before. Well the case is that this girl has a son or daughter, and I was wondering, one of the reason he dumped me was because he thought things were pretty serious between us, and he got scared because he wanted to enjoy his life, if this girl has a son or daughter I guess she's looking for something serious as well, so has he fallen in love with her so fast to have changed his mind? This thought just kills me... Another thing, I deleted all my public profiles so I wouldn't have to see his updates and pictures, etc. Yesterday a friend of mine was here at my house and she went into facebook and played a video of one of her friends tattooing, well she was crying for the pain and suddenly I hear his voice, he was the one recording the video. I felt so terrible but yet wanted to keep watching the video, then he started talking to this girl that is also a good friend of his, making fun of her, laughing, and then this third voice started to talk, it was a girl, and she also started laughing with him and her, and making jokes of the tattoo girl and her reaction to the pain. So there, I think this third voice was his new girlfriend, and I guess she has a good relationship with this tattoo girl, which I could never have because they were so close I just didn't like that friendship and she thought I stole her friend. Now he has a perfect girlfriend that goes with him anywhere, that doesn't mind his friendships, she's probably one of them already, and I was with him 2 years and never got that far. I feel like crop, pure crop, how I could never be more open, and become friends with his friends, may be that way everything would have been different... Another bad thing is that I have to see "them" on the only friend in common we have graduation party. That is May 16, I thought I was ready, but apparently if hearing their voice laughing together made me dipressed I guess seeing their happiness and closenness will kill me. I know I have to go I show the world I don't care, but I do care, and I think that would be a terrible day in my life. Sometimes I feel like writing him an email to get answers but I'm not sure. Please give advice on how to cope with the pain of facing he has a perfect relationship with her, how should I face them next month, should I say HI or just ignore them, and if I should or should not write to him...
TaraMaiden Posted April 19, 2009 Posted April 19, 2009 First of all, let me tell you there is no such thing as the perfect realtionship. Nothing is ever perfect. But maybe they are just more compatible. This is something people who separate simply have to come to terms with. It happens. When people break up, it is because there are differences in their attitudes which are either too far apart on which to compromise, or the principles of one person have been damaged, and they cannot shift.... In any case, we are all compatible with some people, and incompatible with others. Their relationship is early days, but there will be disagreements. This happens, does it not? My advice to you would be to let them get on with their lives. It's good that they are getting on well. I would suggest you drop this resentment, and do the same. jealousy and questioning of this kind can never be answered satisfactorily. So, your choice, really. Agonise and let yourself be controlled by circumstances which are not your business anyway - or get on with life and smile?
eiithan Posted April 19, 2009 Posted April 19, 2009 I used to be in a similar situation. 2 years relationship, an out of blue breakup before my graduation, and he jumped on dating another girl immediately. And I thought she was more compatible with him than I ever was. They went to places I never went, traveled together internationally (I couldn't by the circumstances), and always left cute (if not explicit) remarks on their facebook walls which I couldn't bring myself to do...That was one year ago. Now he's facing his graduation next month, and guess what. After 7 months of the relationship, they broke up. I was told that she is not even his friend in facebook (not that it should be a measurement, but considering many exs stay friends on facebook, obviously the end was not great). When I was suffering from the aftermath of the breakup, I read somewhere in LS that the ex may seem to have a happier relationship, but in deep down all relationship have issues and he/she may be not so happy in truth. I didn't get it by the time, but it turned out to be quite true. So yes, there is no perfect relationship. But don't pine for his return one day. You'll only be disappointed. Unfriend him, and If necessary, get rid of HIS friends on facebook. It may seem like losing another contact with your ex, but having means to track his new relationship does not help healing.
Author Marina09 Posted April 20, 2009 Author Posted April 20, 2009 Well, of course I am resented, he wrote me an email saying he wanted to be with me in the future when he felt ready to give me the relationship we both wanted and expected, and when he felt ready to commit completely to me. And then I found out he wrote that when he was already with that girl, I mean, I don't wish them bad things, but I can't just overlook the fact that he didn't respect me sending me that email while he was with her, it seems to me that he wants to have me as second option in case that relationship doesn't work. I just don't know how to react when I have to see him on my friend's graduation party!!!!
Trialbyfire Posted April 20, 2009 Posted April 20, 2009 What a slimeball! Ask yourself why you're pining over a guy who's stringing one girl along, while already in a relationship with another?
fofiffs Posted April 20, 2009 Posted April 20, 2009 Don't fell bad, i'm going through the same thing. My ex is so in love with this guy she has only been with for about 3 weeks. Thing is he's got more money, nice car, a house, family owned business. So yeah she got with someone whose richer and older. She's 20 and he's 32. But anyways, stop checking his facebook, myspace, etc..it'll only hurt you more. It'll just set you back from recovery. Just let him be and work on trying to move on. Things happen for a reason. But in my situation I hate and despise my ex cuz she used me. Once I helped her get back on her feet thats when she decided to leave. I want nothing to do with that B***C...She can use that other guy for all I care.
Author Marina09 Posted April 22, 2009 Author Posted April 22, 2009 Just so you know guys I haven't checked his myspace, facebook, or anything on the internet, this video was in a friend of mine friend's profile, and his voice was in the video... Well my friend didn't notice until I told her hearing his voice made me feel bad. Now I need a little advice on how to react to their presence on my friend's party. I have no idea how to react, I think I should say hi to show them that I don't care but I don't know how they're reaction is gonna be, besides I know if I say hi to them is just to show off not because I feel it, cause I know I'm gonna feel terrible...
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