alex434 Posted April 19, 2009 Posted April 19, 2009 Ahhh.. I posted a thread up here about a week ago about me making a move on my friend who said she likes me ( and i like her of course ). Well... I decided to make that move on Friday night. lol... Not such a good idea i guess? She came to my friends party and we talked and hung out and because she was getting tired she decided to leave so i walked outside to get her earring from my car ( no one was outside ) and i kind of backed out to make a move on her. Instead I waited I waited till she left with her friend and asked her to come back around and when she pulled around i walked over to the window and told her friend that my friend blah blah blah ect. So.. I decided in my drunken stupor to go for it I grabbed her chin and went in but she moved her cheek towards me and i winded up kissing her on the cheek lol. Ouch. I played it off like it wasent that big of a deal and she did too (but it did indeed hurt). She then drove off after 2 min of talking. I texted her saying sorry and she asked for what? I said for making a move and she said "it's ok I just wasent expecting it" What the hell? Do i need to announce this thing? My guess is she denied me and felt out of place because her friend was in the passenger seat talking to my friend ( he was at the window ) and a bunch of people were outside of the house? She then sent me a text consisting of " you know i like your retarded *** " lol. But my question is.. If she likes me why didnt she just let me kiss her? I hung out with her on saturday and we called it a "date" but after the rejection on friday i just couldnt find it in me to go for it again. Is there anything i can ask her or do to try and figure this mess out? I mean.. she says she likes me but sometimes i feel like she might just be saying that because she knows she likes me I'm pretty confused about all of this and It has not stopped going through my mind yet So help would be greatly appreciated . sucks though.. I don't know how many of you guys went through it but when you really like someone ( A LOT ) and known eachother for so long (4 years) and you get denied, it hurts.
Island Girl Posted April 19, 2009 Posted April 19, 2009 It is hard to tell. Her actions can go either way. But she called hanging out on Saturday a "date" as well. And that seems like you are on the right path. You are just going to have to make a bold move. Stop pussy footing around it. I know your ego was hurt by the kiss on the cheek. But it could have been a lot of things. Her friend sitting right there - people around - it could have all made her self conscious as well. You need to go out ON A DATE - ALONE - and then when a moment presents itself, like on a walk at the end of the evening, then seize that moment and pull her to you in an unmistakable way. Then kiss her. If she refuses you then you should forget her. As difficult as it may be you must move on to another. But at least your endless searching for meaning will be over. You won't be thinking does she or doesn't she anymore.
moman Posted April 19, 2009 Posted April 19, 2009 Good job buddy, it takes a lot of balls to make a move like that. I'm being serious, even if she did give you the cheek treatment, you made her think. Who knows what she thinks, but next time try this trick when you want to kiss a girl. Touch her shoulder and the tips of her hair. Do it in a graceful move, like a half-hug, and if she smiles, kiss her. If she backs away, don't try. Get it? It's worked 100% of the time with me.
Island Girl Posted April 19, 2009 Posted April 19, 2009 Touch her shoulder and the tips of her hair. Do it in a graceful move, like a half-hug, and if she smiles, kiss her. If she backs away, don't try. Get it? It's worked 100% of the time with me. Good move moman! I can say I would only respond to this touch in a favorable way if I was interested. If not it'd make me recoil. So I can see how it would be effective. Great advice!
samspade Posted April 19, 2009 Posted April 19, 2009 Whatever happens...rejection is better than regret!!
Island Girl Posted April 19, 2009 Posted April 19, 2009 Whatever happens...rejection is better than regret!! I would go one further and say rejection is better than months or years wasted!
Cherished Posted April 19, 2009 Posted April 19, 2009 I would think twice about dating a girl who uses "retarded" the way she does. It's no different than using the term "nig*er" when referring to an African American. Do you realize that? They have some great commercials referring to this.
ratzskinakie Posted April 19, 2009 Posted April 19, 2009 many girls play hard to get to see if they are worth the effort to figure out their games. Whether your friend is playing hard to get or not I honestly don't know, but it sounds to me like you might be doing the nice guy/friend thing and as long as you keep those habits up, the next thing you know a jerk will be pounding her and later she'll call you up hurt for emotional support on how the jerk ditched her after that one night and as long as you give in and comfort her.... it will be rinse, wash, and repeat. So of course she likes you, as a friend. I could be wrong in your case, but my point is, you're doing the right thing and keep attempting to pursue her, show interests, keep going out on dates with her, be persistent, don't give up, act like a guy who wants to date her and she may eventually give in, especially if she likes you (more than a friend) but also make it clear that if nothing happens (you don't have to be direct), or if she makes it clear she doesn't want anything, that you'll end what you guys have going on (or you'll just set yourself up for more disappointment if you continue this friend-friend with feelings thing). The irony, with this kind of attitude, she might start to fall for you. So act like a guy who wants to date her or else move on away from her. She probably doesn't want to change the freindship you guys have going on right now, but if you make an honest effort and can't get her, and don't move on, you're only going to continue to hurt yourself emotionally. Or maybe, just maybe, continue being friends with her, and years from now, after she can't get the guys she wants, exhusted her youth, or gets desperate and at last resort will finally settle with you, but nobody wants to take this path. Or it could be just lust (I know when you currently have feelings for someone, it can be hard to believe it could be) and after some months you could find yourself losing interest in her.
Author alex434 Posted April 19, 2009 Author Posted April 19, 2009 well see thats the problem we talk to one another like that in a joking way i call her douche, ect. it's a name game. If someone texts me while im with her she'll put her hand on my phone and press all the buttons really face and she's pretty direct when talking to me, lots of eye contact but funny thing is we called it a date but it was like the same thing haha. We joke around a lot. And that seems like a pretty good move there =p im gonna have to try it lol.. But I actually used to "talk" to her about 4 years ago ( thats when i met her ) but she thought i didnt like her and i thought she didnt like her so we both went our seperate ways. I ended up have a GF for a year and few months as did she and he we are now again, both single and on square one.. pretty odd huh? See.. I want to know if she likes me like that, NO BS, And i want to ask her but im afraid of being too clingy or bothersome, nothing like a rock in a hard place haha... Is there anyway i can ask her that without seeming too buggy? or some sort of way to throw it up?
You'reasian Posted April 19, 2009 Posted April 19, 2009 I would think twice about dating a girl who uses "retarded" the way she does. It's no different than using the term "nig*er" when referring to an African American. Do you realize that? They have some great commercials referring to this. Maybe she's gay. Do you think she's gay???
Cherished Posted April 19, 2009 Posted April 19, 2009 Maybe she's gay. Do you think she's gay??? You are confused.
Author alex434 Posted April 19, 2009 Author Posted April 19, 2009 lol no she is not gay lets focus guys i need some advice
Yamaha Posted April 19, 2009 Posted April 19, 2009 I texted her saying sorry and she asked for what? I said for making a move and she said "it's ok I just wasn't expecting it" Don't apologize. You made your move and let her decide if she's interested. If you let her think you didn't mean the kiss then you will never get to the next level. She may come around but no more apologizing for wanting to kiss her.
carhill Posted April 19, 2009 Posted April 19, 2009 If someone texts me while im with her she'll put her hand on my phone and press all the buttons really face and she's pretty direct when talking to me, lots of eye contact I'll opine situational ego feed. Check in after pursuing this aggressively and tell me I'm wrong
Author alex434 Posted April 19, 2009 Author Posted April 19, 2009 I'll opine situational ego feed. Check in after pursuing this aggressively and tell me I'm wrong not sure what you mean lol
carhill Posted April 19, 2009 Posted April 19, 2009 She's pushing your sexual "buttons" for a response. I've seen this behavior personally from some of the best players in the game, that being married women. And, yes, I fell for it on a couple of occasions. IMO, she's not interested in anything serious or long-term. As I said, pursue it with zest and make me eat crow
Author alex434 Posted April 19, 2009 Author Posted April 19, 2009 interesting. I never thought of it like that? i mean just keep in mind im going on 20 shes going on 19 so i don't think she's developed that sort of trickery yet =P perhaps she wants the attention on her? ect.
carhill Posted April 19, 2009 Posted April 19, 2009 Ever see a little girl manipulate daddy (or grandpa) like a pro? Heh.....you're easy meat Women learn from a very early age how to "manage" men. What do you think they talk about with their girlfriends? It certainly isn't sharing recipes for fudge
Author alex434 Posted April 19, 2009 Author Posted April 19, 2009 ****. That is very true. So you don't think shes interested in me like that all serious? Ahhh **** it. I'm going in deep. and I mean deep like covert ops deep. I'm just gonna lay it all out to her, I'm not sorry for trying to kiss you and im gonna be the most persistant prick in the world till you tell me what you really want and if you even like me at all.
carhill Posted April 19, 2009 Posted April 19, 2009 Balance assertiveness, respect and humor and you're golden Smile when rejected. New opportunities beckon!
Author alex434 Posted April 19, 2009 Author Posted April 19, 2009 yes lol. i find adding humor to it makes it somewhat easy to respond to instead of being stern and disrespectful
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