Excellent Posted April 19, 2009 Posted April 19, 2009 Sorry for the long post. I have no idea what is going on right now. It's closing in on 5 months since the break (longer than the relationship was), yet the last weeks have been horrible. I was fine when i started NC in early feb. And i have reached a point now where i have accepted that she probably is with someone else, and that we never, ever will be together again. But since i started NC i have had this huge anticipation of something. It's like a gutfeeling that something is about to happen, like i am waiting for something. The reason why i am posting it here, is because i think it must be her that is the reason for this feeling. I can't think of anything else that could be the reason. After one month with this, i thought it was going to go away, because i had a very huge exam coming up. I passed that one with ease, and thought that it was the cause of all this, but the feeling didn't stop. And lately it's just getting worse. I am now on sleeping meds, just to actually get a full night sleep for once, after well over 2 months with 3-4 hours sleep every day. And she isn't making it any better now. As you can read in my previous thread, we work together, so i see her every day. And the last weeks have been very, very weird. She is suddenly acting all friendly, wants to have lunch with me, asks if i am dating anyone (she has done this twice), and at one point nearly accused me for having a girlfriend (in a jokingly manner mind you), wich i responded that i don't have one, because i don't. I don't see the reason to lie about that, i don't care what she thinks. I am still holding some of her furniture, and she has said over and over again that she will come pick it up, but she never does. And i have asked her several times to come pick it up, but she doesn't. And although it hasn't happened often, i have sometimes caught her eye lately, wich really makes me wonder what she is thinking when she looks at me that way. We still have great chemistry, we can discuss anything, share a laugh about anything. She even remembered that my birthday is coming up shortly, and indirectly admitted to checking my facebook profile (yes, i haven't blocked her, because i kan keep myself away from hers without any problem). I don't share any private information with her, but she does. She has told me several times when she has her period, even told me that she was going through a urinal infection a few weeks back. I mean, what ex tells you all these things if she doesn't want you in her life, and that she just wants us to be colleagues. She tells me about diseases in her family, that she is also sleeping poorly at nights. All these things, it just makes you wonder why she is suddenly so open, when she was so cold a few months back. And although trivial, i have heard more from her after work the last two weeks than i have the last two months. Just petty things, very short convo's. I guess my question here is, is there anything to anticipate here, does she have a hard time letting go? I am prepared to let her go, i have been for several months now. But i just feel there is that tiny thread between us that refuses to snap. Right now, i am thinking about to just ask her bluntly tomorrow as to why she can't bring herself to come get the damn furniture so we can be done with it. I see, and i think she does too,that the furniture is the last link between us, and she doesn't want to close that. Sorry for all the rambling, but any advice or answers would be good. Guess i needed to vent. God, things would have been so much easier if didn't have to see her at work every damn day.
playlislay Posted April 19, 2009 Posted April 19, 2009 So you still miss her and think about her? And you feel that there is a tiny bit between you two that doesnt want to let go? Hmmmmm.......... You have two options, see if she is still interested???? OR Give that furniture back asap, find a new job and a new gf. I know how hard it is to let go but these things have to be done if you really want to get over her-although having her around at work must be very difficult. Brief us on the break up-the usual who split up with who, etc.
Author Excellent Posted April 19, 2009 Author Posted April 19, 2009 So you still miss her and think about her? And you feel that there is a tiny bit between you two that doesnt want to let go? Hmmmmm.......... You have two options, see if she is still interested???? OR Give that furniture back asap, find a new job and a new gf. I know how hard it is to let go but these things have to be done if you really want to get over her-although having her around at work must be very difficult. Brief us on the break up-the usual who split up with who, etc. Yeah, i guess i still miss her. And her new attitude towards me isn't making things easier. I guess you might call it mixed signals, and i hate those things. I just find them confusing. I tend to be very direct on things like these. But i am only afraid to hurt myself again if rejected. Wich is stupid, it's just a "yes" or a "no" i am looking after. She is the one who chased me, and she is the one who did the split after only 3-4 months. Saying she was not ready, she just wanted to have fun etc. I took it really, really hard. But i never contacted her, because i knew by instinct that nagging wouldn't get me anywhere. I am a very stubborn and proud person too, so i refuse to crawl for anyone. Thats partially why i don't like the idea in initiating a conversation about this to her, because i feel it would make me look like the crawling one, when it's her that should do the crawling. I loved her to death, i did not only lose my girlfriend, i also lost my best friend. It was not the split that hurt the most, it was her coldness and treatment from her right before and after the split that hurt, and still lingers in the back of my head. I kind of jumped to the conclusion early in the NC-period that she had been cheating on me, perhaps not physically, that was more or less impossible. But flirting with someone else via texting. And i kinda settled with that idea, but i never got that confirmed. I guess if it should come to a second chance, thats what it's all about. I can't take her back if she did, cheaters are to me the lowest ones, and i hold no respect for them at all. And i can't be with someone i don't respect. Getting a new job because of her is out of the question. The job marked in my line of profession here is insanely hard and small, and very difficult to get a foothold into. So i just have to endure that part. I guess i just have to grab this by the horns and get it over with. Just get a final "no" out of her, return her **** and be done with it all. I have someone new who seems to be interested too, i don't have any feelings for her at all, other than that i think she is nice and fairly attractive, but that can be developed over time.
Author Excellent Posted April 19, 2009 Author Posted April 19, 2009 Anyone else has an idea about her behaviour?
miss_28 Posted April 20, 2009 Posted April 20, 2009 At most, I think she's playing games (how old is she btw? just curious). The personal information she's sharing is the kind of thing you wouldn't want to share with someone you are looking to get back together with... it's kinda gross to tell a person about your period or bladder infections (I don't see how you'd find this appealing - and this is a female POV) Is it perhaps because any personal info she shares is a sign of closeness? It sounds more like she wants to be friends... while possibly hoping she can have your admiration as well. Now, I'm sure she wonders "what if" from time to time, but if I were you, I wouldn't take these events as signals worthy of anything romantic - actually, from what I'm reading, I'd steer clear of a friendship with her at this point and focus on something else. Trust me, if she had the guts to break up, she'd have the guts to seek you back. Put yourself out there and find a better girl... besides, anyone who loses interest and goes looking elsewhere (even if its via text) is lame and lacks class. You probably dodged a bullet.
Author Excellent Posted April 20, 2009 Author Posted April 20, 2009 At most, I think she's playing games (how old is she btw? just curious). The personal information she's sharing is the kind of thing you wouldn't want to share with someone you are looking to get back together with... it's kinda gross to tell a person about your period or bladder infections (I don't see how you'd find this appealing - and this is a female POV) Is it perhaps because any personal info she shares is a sign of closeness? It sounds more like she wants to be friends... while possibly hoping she can have your admiration as well. Now, I'm sure she wonders "what if" from time to time, but if I were you, I wouldn't take these events as signals worthy of anything romantic - actually, from what I'm reading, I'd steer clear of a friendship with her at this point and focus on something else. Trust me, if she had the guts to break up, she'd have the guts to seek you back. Put yourself out there and find a better girl... besides, anyone who loses interest and goes looking elsewhere (even if its via text) is lame and lacks class. You probably dodged a bullet. Hehe, i don't find her period/bladder information appealing at all. I just find it weird that she tells me these things. She's only 21, so she is still young, as am i (24). And you are right, i probably did dodge a bullet, but it still stings from time to time. And about the cheating thing, i really don't know if she did that, and if it was that what caused the breakup. I somehow just concluded that it was. But i am not 100% sure. In any case, i won't initiate any "let's hang out" or "i miss you" convo's. If it comes to that, it'll be her that has to say it. For now, all these conversations stays at work. And although she has proven to me that she can be very immature, she is still fun to talk to at work atleast. So i'm done cutting her off there. I don't see the point in being an ******* to her.
Recommended Posts