I confronted "her"!

[theycallmeprincess]

:lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao: I hope that stick won't irritate you much longer.

 

Really? Does this mean you're going away? :cool:

[SidLyon]

I contacted OW. For me, it was a necessary step in regaining my self worth. I needed to no longer make myself a "concept" to her.

I didn't ask any questions. I introduced myself and told her that invited by my H or not - she had trespassed into MY life. This was about me and for me. She knew about me, and I didn't know about her although she was participating in MY life. I wanted her to know that I was now up to speed and FULLY engaged.

I was matter of fact, but not hostile. I needed to not be anonymous to her.

It helped me, and probably put things into a more accurate perspective for her.

 

This is more or less what I thought although I didn't plan to ask the "why" question it just slipped out. Mainly I talked about our lives together just so she would know that there had been a life for him outside the fantasy world of the A. Last December a few weeks after D day (which was late October) I had sent her an e-mail telling her I had felt that she invaded me, my family and husband, my home (uninvited by me) and my life. The thought that she was part of my life unbeknown to me is one of the more difficult things I'm having to come to grips with.

 

Sadly for me, D day was the day before my final exam in contract law. I sat the exam as I didn't want to waste all the hard work I'd done - I still remember how the tears were pouring down my face and I nearly walked out. I then decided I had a good set of notes (it was an open book exam) and just sort of "did it" - I basically copied my notes, aiming for a pass rather than any insightful legal analysis of the questions - afterwards I couldn't even remember which questions I'd chosen to answer. Sitting that exam and another a few days later was really hard.

 

The more I read of others' experiences in meeting the OW/OM the more I think it is the right thing to do - maybe not for the OW but for the betrayed wife/husband.

 

 

S

[SidLyon]

Exactly, I did the same thing.

 

What I don't get is why when we call them, they immediately call our husbands? As if?!!!

 

What exactly do they think HE is going to tell us when he knows that they (he and she) are the ones in the wrong?!

 

Yeah, I'd say arrogant too.

 

But I'm with desertmoon, I'm evil. LOL. I'd make HIM do the gift return with me there (or on the phone) so I can get a blow-by-blow. (I never claimed to be the most civil woman alive, LOL).

 

I don't think she contacted my H after either the e-mail or the meeting. If she did then he didn't tell me - which would be very bad.

 

I considered asking him to do it but I felt it would breach the no contact rule - I didn't feel comfortable saying there should be no contact and then insisting that he contact her to return the gifts - I'm sure he would have pointed out this inconsistency to me.

 

But it was a situation I imagined and thinking about it probably gave me some evil pleasure too :-).

 

S

[bentnotbroken]

Really? Does this mean you're going away? :cool:

 

 

If you have such an issue with me, why don't you take your 40 posts and go play nicely with the other children. :lmao::lmao:or press the ignore button so you won't be soooo offended by my posts.

[Lucky_One]

I am curious. What made you confront the XOW's in-laws and tell them what the wife of their dead son had done? Did adding to their pain and distress help you?

[Tony]

I am getting repetitive motion injury just deleting nasty and off topic posts in this thread. If we can't get along with ourselves, how can we expect people in other countries to like us??? Thread closed!