boxing123 Posted April 19, 2009 Posted April 19, 2009 I hear this phrase in the media/this board/in public quite often. And it is always pointed towards women or said by women. "Should I settle".. This is foreign to me, so can someone explain? If I meet a woman, I am attracted to her, or I am not. I like her, or I do not. "Settling" never crosses my mind. I have never heard a guy say "Should I settle" or anything of the sort. So, I have a couple questions.. 1. Is this basically a financial thing? Obviously I never hear women say "Well he beats me, I will settle". So is it about money? Looks? 2.Are people who say this in touch with their feelings? Or are they blinded by friends or the media who influence their thinking on what they "think" they deserve? "He should be 6ft 2, professional, 6 figure salary, funny,good looking, kind, great body, faithful, and romantic" 3. When many of you women marry are you really thinking "Well I will settle for him", due to your biological clock, etc. 4. Many of you "picky" women do end up marrying, usually mid 30's. Do you then delude yourself to believe you are not "settling" and tell everyone you have the perfect man? Or are you open and honest with yourself and others, and finally admit you "settled"?
Cherished Posted April 19, 2009 Posted April 19, 2009 To settle means to marry someone you don't feel absolute 100% love and passion for, and are completely devoted to loving for the rest of your life, with no doubts as to your love and commitment to this person. It has absolutely nothing to do with age and what other people think. People who are truly in love with their spouse don't care if others think they are settling, they don't tell people they 'settled' etc. Again, nothing to do with age whatsoever.
MN randomguy Posted April 19, 2009 Posted April 19, 2009 I think Cherished described it. Its an emotional settling. Marrying when not at the peak of dopamine levels. Many women don't realize that the women that are married to funny, great looking, rich etc..... guys aren't constantly on cloud nine. Its about not being able to marry your messiah, so instead settling for a great yet flawed man.
spookie Posted April 19, 2009 Posted April 19, 2009 You know when you're single, and you go out, even if you're with your friends, and you're having fun, you're still kind of on the prowl? Open to possibilities, aware of the people around you, hoping that something magical will happen? Well, for me, settling means committing to someone who fails to turn off those feelings of longing. They might make me happy, they might be my best friend, we might have great sex together, but it won't mean I'll stop hoping for something better, something that will change me. If we're out together, they'll fail to keep my attention. Though I won't do it, I'll want to flirt with other guys.
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