BobSacamento Posted April 19, 2009 Posted April 19, 2009 Seriously, first meets should always be on a weekday. Ruining a Saturday is a lot different than ruining a Tuesday.
carhill Posted April 19, 2009 Posted April 19, 2009 Yeah, if posting patterns on LS are any indicator, Saturdays are the most important day of the week, in spite of R_P chastising me for my observation of such in another thread JS, IMO, keep that in mind for a future encounter. Make the first one a weeknight
Author Jersey Shortie Posted April 19, 2009 Author Posted April 19, 2009 So that was my issue. Not making a date on a weekday..silly me. No wonder the guy cancelled. Who can blame him.
carhill Posted April 19, 2009 Posted April 19, 2009 Get with the program girl. Sunday's are a happenin' day on LS and we need meat with our potatoes
BobSacamento Posted April 19, 2009 Posted April 19, 2009 So that was my issue. Not making a date on a weekday..silly me. No wonder the guy cancelled. Who can blame him. Well ask yourself, if this happened on a Tuesday would you have reacted the same way?
39388 Posted April 19, 2009 Posted April 19, 2009 I don't see why the day of week would matter. Shouldn't it be whenever both have the time?
samspade Posted April 19, 2009 Posted April 19, 2009 He probably had a valid reason to reschedule, he probably didn't. We don't know. We don't know because he didn't call her up and explain. Here is what I would say: "I hate to cancel at the last minute, but something personal has come up and I can't go out tonight. I still want to see you though, so I'm hoping we can reschedule. I'm free next Tuesday at 8, let me know if that works for you." That's on the phone, or in a voice mail. NOT a text. And I agree....early dates are better on weekday nights (and kept to drinks).
moman Posted April 19, 2009 Posted April 19, 2009 Cheap and below the belt shot on a thread I posted something personal about. I will remember to give you the same respect next time you decide to post something personal of your life. Oh if you are going to say something, don't hide being a "j/k". Man up to it or don't say it at all. We both know that that was added to hide behind your cheap shot. See Jersey, that's your problem. You are showing a victim mentality. Clearly I was just trying to be a meanie and hurt your feelings. Everyone on this board is against you and taking his side of things, blah blah blah. No one is trying to truly help you with your situation. "You're advice has nothing to to with the situation and really you using it as an excuse to jump on me with your personal attacks. When you posted something serious about your gf problems I never told you "oh this is why I take you worth a grain of salt"... Wow." Sometimes I wonder if the attitude you display on here, combative and victim, spills over in real life.
39388 Posted April 19, 2009 Posted April 19, 2009 Sometimes I wonder if the attitude you display on here, combative and victim, spills over in real life. Sorry, but I don't see an attititude at all from Jersey. She handled it very well. When something like this happens to some people, the get all upset and go on and on that they don't want to date again. Jersey simply decided to say "next", knowing there will be a next who is more reliable than this one.
samspade Posted April 19, 2009 Posted April 19, 2009 See Jersey, that's your problem. You are showing a victim mentality. Clearly I was just trying to be a meanie and hurt your feelings. Everyone on this board is against you and taking his side of things, blah blah blah. Come on, man. A guy canceled last minute on her, which was a huge let-down on a Saturday night. She posted about it - without, I might add, blaming the entire male population - and you teased her. If the shoe were on the other foot, how would you feel? At least a little bothered, I would guess. Now factor that by five, because you are a guy and she is a girl, and girls do not take lightly trash-talking like guys do. I've disagreed with Jersey many times, and we've butted heads, but I can still be sympathetic for her. Yes, she IS a victim... of a dick move. It's not a "mentality," she is just annoyed, as anyone would be. If posting here about it keeps her from letting it make her bitter in the long term, I'm all for it.
Taramere Posted April 19, 2009 Posted April 19, 2009 I am sorry but I judge a guy on how he acts. This guy's actions made it easier for me to decide what to do. He lost. Maybe he saves puppies on the weekend or visits his grandmother but I currently don't care. That seems fair. He might be a great guy in all kinds of ways - but all you have to go on is how he handled this particular situation with you. I don't see that it was incumbent upon you to give him the benefit of the doubt and reschedule. A guy did something similar to me one time, not long after I'd come out of a long relationship. We'd met and snogged one night, exchanged numbers and had one date. He called to arrange a date then cancelled just before it. A week or so later he called to arrange another date. I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. Again, he cancelled right before it - so I just deleted his number and wished I hadn't given him the benefit of the doubt. This was a few years ago. A few weeks ago, I was in a bar having drinks with a friend when a guy came up to me with a microphone. It was him. Obviously not recognising me, he started quizzing us both about our views on the drinking culture. I told him that I disapprove of drinking culture on the basis that it encourages dodgy hook ups. Him: Would you like to say a few more words about that?" Me: "Yes" ....pause... ""no actually I wouldn't." Him: "Oh go on..." Me: "Okay. I'd really like to say" lengthy pause...."no sorry. Nothing to say. I changed my mind again. It's the drink talking." He looked confused and annoyed about having his time wasted by a dithering idiot. What goes around comes around.
Author Jersey Shortie Posted April 19, 2009 Author Posted April 19, 2009 I don't see why the day of week would matter. It doesn't matter. I don't see how canceling on me on a weekday is any different then canceling on me on a weekend. "I hate to cancel at the last minute, but something personal has come up and I can't go out tonight. I still want to see you though, so I'm hoping we can reschedule. I'm free next Tuesday at 8, let me know if that works for you." That's on the phone, or in a voice mail. NOT a text. See, if it was handled like that, I would have been okay. See Jersey, that's your problem. You are showing a victim mentality. Clearly I was just trying to be a meanie and hurt your feelings. Everyone on this board is against you and taking his side of things, blah blah blah Errr, no Moman. My comments were directed to you and the other posters that instead of giving advice, used my post as an oppurtunity to take cheap shots at me. There were alot of people on this thread that were very helpful, many of them men..Carhill, 39388, Samspade..... Sometimes I wonder if the attitude you display on here, combative and victim, spills over in real life. I don't know, does your attitude of narrisitic and insensitive spill into yours? A week or so later he called to arrange another date. I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. Again, he cancelled right before it - so I just deleted his number and wished I hadn't given him the benefit of the doubt. That was something in my head that would happen if I let the guy get away with canceling on me the way he did.
BobSacamento Posted April 20, 2009 Posted April 20, 2009 It doesn't matter. I don't see how canceling on me on a weekday is any different then canceling on me on a weekend. So your saying your reaction had nothing to do with the fact you had nothing to do on a Saturday? You put all your eggs in one basket on a person you've never met on the best socializing day of the week. Wouldn't it be better to do it on a Tuesday? That way you can be like "Well I can still watch House." instead of "Well I can still watch Americas most wanted and Cops." Honestly why did you post here? We are throwing out suggestions to possibly help you in the future. You haven't really told us where we are wrong you just get all defensive.
Girlygirl1977 Posted April 20, 2009 Posted April 20, 2009 So your saying your reaction had nothing to do with the fact you had nothing to do on a Saturday? You put all your eggs in one basket on a person you've never met on the best socializing day of the week. Wouldn't it be better to do it on a Tuesday? That way you can be like "Well I can still watch House." instead of "Well I can still watch Americas most wanted and Cops." Honestly why did you post here? We are throwing out suggestions to possibly help you in the future. You haven't really told us where we are wrong you just get all defensive. Agreee as far as Saturday - it is a higher priority night for me than e.g. a Tuesday night. Since I have I am free that night and the next day, it means I like to plan things which I am pretty sure will turn out to be fun. I would put a first date during the week because it has an ending point - since next day is work etc. I would try not to book someone I am not sure about on a weekend night.
Author Jersey Shortie Posted April 20, 2009 Author Posted April 20, 2009 So your saying your reaction had nothing to do with the fact you had nothing to do on a Saturday? Didn't you already ask me this and didn't I respond? Really, who cares what day of the week it was? My time is important if it's Saturday or if it's Tuesday. Does standing someone up on a weekday prove to be less important the standing someone up on the weekend? Not in my book. It's the standing someone up part that is the issue. A date made on a different day doesn't change the character of a person. I really don't understand your reasoning that if I only made the date on a weekday this wouldn't have happened. Honestly why did you post here? We are throwing out suggestions to possibly help you in the future. You haven't really told us where we are wrong you just get all defensive. Huh? Am I not allowed to post on an open message board? *scratches head*
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