fitzy30 Posted April 18, 2009 Posted April 18, 2009 ok here is my story thanks for reading I have been going out with my girlfriend for 4 and half years nearly 5.she is 23 and im 30.we live in a small enough town and she was working and i wasnt as it was very hard for me to get a job due to the recession so i decided to move to the city and my girlfriend left her job to come with me.we got an apt and we moved.We both looked for jobs and she got one really fast and i didnt she was delighted she got this new job cause she was getting paid more in the city now than back home we did have small fights and we did get stressed out over things due to it and to be honest i neglected the relationship which i hate myself for it now.she made new friends and went out and i left her out with her friends cause i didnt want to be to clingy after 4 months i had to go back for 3 weeks cause i had money problems and my girlfriend stayed in the city,she came back home for the weekend the 2nd week i was gone and everything seemed to be fine we slept together and had sex,the next morning i woke up she wasnt in bed with me she was downstairs which i felt strange,i knew there was some sort of problem,she came back up and said to me she was going out with her friends tonight and i went mad with her and i said why cant you hang around with me i have'nt seen you in 2 weeks but she choose them over me and i left a couple of hours later i texted her and i said some nasty things to her and she texted me back and said I'm Not happy.so i rang her and said whats the problem and she said she wants a break from me and she wants to think. The next day i called over and she was crying and said she needs a break from us and i was going mad cause i was heading back with her to the city in 2 days to sort out my own life,she said that i didnt even bother once to go to the city to see her in the 3 weeks i was away which is true and she said she was confused and she didnt know what she wanted and she had no feelings for me. Two days later i sent her flowers to her workplace and i send her a thinking of you card.and i also texted her and said i need to know an answer soon as i need to go back to the city and sort my own life out. so she rang me and said i think we should breakup followed by yes we should breakup,which we both cried and i begged her to no avail so the next day i headed to the city we met and she said she was confused and she was not happy being with me and it took her a while to realise it.she said i showed little or no affection to her and she was stressed (which is true as i had my own problem and i never thought about her i begged again and i asked her for a 2nd chance and she said she cant,she said she is young and it feels she missed out on things and she wished we never moved to the city cause it hurted the relationship so she got a new apt and left me. i texted her a week later and she said is the door fully closed on us and she said "i thinks so yeah" im happy.and she didnt want to talk about us 8 weeks later i texted her and i said would she like to meet up for lunch in 2 weeks and she said she would love that with a happy smilie face She never texted me once when we broke up and i did the texting but id like to see her even if it does hurt me cause she was my best friend as well as my girlfriend it may be a case of the grass is greener syndrome ,or an age thing i dont know but i feel the longer i leave it she might fall in to someones elses arms. i texted her today and said did she want to mee up this sat and she said no its kinda of weird for her and she doesnt know why. but she said she would meet me for lunch next weekend for definitely. any advice i would appreciate it,its killing me when i love the person so much
Antai Posted April 19, 2009 Posted April 19, 2009 Not that I'm any expert or even close to it but I'll give you my two cents anyway:) You're blaming yourself for neglecting the relationship but I wouldn't get hung up on it if I were you, 'Cause you realised your mistake and you seem to do your best to try again so if she really loves you, you've made it easy for her to try to fix things. I think you can only wait for her to decide right now if she wants to move on or if she'd give it another try, I know that's not much of an advice but it do takes two to tango. I hope that lunch you're having next weekend works out alright for you.
Author fitzy30 Posted April 19, 2009 Author Posted April 19, 2009 Thanks Antai for reading my post,your right it does take 2 to tango.ill post back next week on how i get on with lunch with my ex thanks again
Author fitzy30 Posted April 21, 2009 Author Posted April 21, 2009 update!! ok she text me and said "Heya.sorry but change of plan,my sister and friend are coming up this weekend so i cant do lunch so i was wondering do you want to meet up for lunch next week during the week" so i texted back no problem let me know what day she texted me back tues or weds if it suits you so im meeting her tues. im goona act cool and calm and just dont bring up the relationship at all
Author fitzy30 Posted April 29, 2009 Author Posted April 29, 2009 update!! My ex texted me and said hey how r u? i have a bit of bad news im so busy in work this week i have to stay back and i wont be able to meet you for dinner this week,maybe next week,i know it seems im tryin to avoid meetin up but im actually really busy in work. but maybe next week would be better i was gutted when i got the txt i was lookin forward to meetin her she canceled 3 times when we made plans to me i replied back..Its ok i understand ur busy,txt me when ur free next week and we will meet up. Maybe it would be best to leave it now and leave her contact me.time for NC
theBrokenMuse Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 i begged again and i asked her for a 2nd chance and she said she cant,she said she is young and it feels she missed out on things She's very young, sounds as if she's been with you since she first started dating and genuinely feels like she's missing out if she doesn't see what else the world has to offer her before she settles down. You need to listen to her and accept that from what you described, she sounds dead serious about wishing to move on and although I can't say for certain I would be willing to bet money that she only agreed to meet you that first time out of guilt, to humor you but never intended to go through with it. She's hoping that if she calls it off enough times you'll eventually stop rescheduling the outing. Go NC and stick with it.
corwin Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 My gut tells me she met someone else at work and that's why she wanted the breakup. She keeps putting you off for lunch or dinner because she doesn't want to betray the new guy like she did you. You need to go No Contact with her.
Author fitzy30 Posted February 16, 2010 Author Posted February 16, 2010 Well after 1 whole year of my breakup i have met someone new who is an amazing person and i have strong feelings for i thought i would never feel like this again after my ex but i have and im so happy.i have learned alot from my last relationship and i really hope this new relationship works for me..there is light at the end of the tunnel when i thought there was none..
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