How do you let go of anger and prevent frustration?

[somedude81]

For pretty much every day this week I’ve been waking up angry. The first thing to come into my head is, “Why am I getting up, there is nothing I’m looking forward to today?” Then I start to get angry and keep telling myself that I hate my life or that I hate the world. I know it’s a terrible way to start the day.

 

There are only a couple things I enjoy doing. One of them is organized couples dance; Salsa, Swing, Waltz, Tango etc. The problem is that I don’t do it often enough and I’m a slow learner. I also don’t have girls in my life so I can’t practice when I’m not in class. Often when I go out to dance I’m left feeling disappointed and frustrated because I’m not good. Last night was a mixer party that all the dance classes attended together. It should have been a fun experience but it wasn’t. I only danced with the girls I wanted to once, and then for the rest of the night it felt like they were avoiding me. I know it’s because I’m not as good as the rest of the guys, but how am I supposed to get better if I can’t practice!?

 

The girls that I danced with were all in my class and they are all in a little social circle. I’ve hung out with them a couple of times but I know they don’t give a damn about me. So when a girl who is my “friend” walked away from me because I don’t really know the dance it hurt. Similar situations kept happening. I ended up leaving early without saying bye to anybody. I wonder if any of them even noticed.

 

I’m trying really hard to push myself and be more sociable but I just don’t fit in. People whom I’ve known for several months just don’t care about me. It’s like I don’t really exist. I don’t know what it is. I wonder if the anger and depression I have in the morning and night affect how I act during the day when I’m around people. Can they tell that something isn’t right with me? When I spend time with people, especially girls I’m always smiling, laughing and having a good time. So how come none of them like me?

 

So today I woke up angry and lay in bed for 30 minutes. The only reason I got up was to write this thread. Now that I finished I don’t have a clue what to do for the rest of the day. All I know is that it's going to be another day where I'm completely alone.

[TaraMaiden]

Tell me please, these young ladies, who makes them talk, walk, dance, chat, laugh, engage with others, socialise, discuss and laugh?

 

I think they probably do it. because they wnt to....

Now tell me please, you yourself - who makes you talk, walk, dance, chat, laugh, engage with others, socialise, discuss and laugh?

 

You do.

Nobody else can control the things you think, say and do.

And how you express yourself begins in your own mind.

You give yourself clearance to think in this way.

You wake up angry, because you have conditioned yourself to do so.

So then you sound angry, frustrated, exasperated, and unfriendly when you speak.

You probably look morose and dissatisfied.

So your actions probably reflect your words, and in turn, your mental state....

 

The one and only sure-fire, fool-proof way to create a state when you are not angry, is to first not create that state in your own mind.

 

You cannot control the circumstances that play around you.

But you can control your responses to them, and your own attitudes to them.

[somedude81]

So how can I change?

 

I do not like the fact that I wake up angry. Yet I simply can't say, "From now on, I'm going to be happy."

 

I wonder if I sound angry, frustrated, exasperated, and unfriendly when I speak or look morose and dissatisfied. There may be some hints of those things when I communicate.

 

How can I not be dissatisfied when I keep getting rejected? I know that the girls are not trying to hurt me, but their lack of concern is what hurts.

[Meaplus3]

So how can I change?

 

I do not like the fact that I wake up angry. Yet I simply can't say, "From now on, I'm going to be happy."

 

I wonder if I sound angry, frustrated, exasperated, and unfriendly when I speak or look morose and dissatisfied. There may be some hints of those things when I communicate.

 

How can I not be dissatisfied when I keep getting rejected? I know that the girls are not trying to hurt me, but their lack of concern is what hurts.

 

 

Do you feel depressed? I ask this because alot of times under lying depression can be a big cause of anger.

 

Now as for how you can change? Well if your have a big fear of rejection and it makes you pull away from woman then you will need to let your walls down a bit and not be so afraid of getting hurt.

 

Mea:)

[TaraMaiden]

So how can I change?

 

I do not like the fact that I wake up angry. Yet I simply can't say, "From now on, I'm going to be happy."

 

Why not? it seems very sensible approach to me!

Everything is led primarily, by what you think, and the way you are thinking.

If you surround yourself with things that make you happy - good music, pleasing images, good food - then, you will begin to create a better atmosphere for yourself.

The only way you can change on the outside is to begin on the inside.

 

I wonder if I sound angry, frustrated, exasperated, and unfriendly when I speak or look morose and dissatisfied. There may be some hints of those things when I communicate.

The fact that you think there may be, indicates a possibility that they are.

Tell me, would you prefer to talk to someone who comes over negatively, or would you prefer to talk to someone who comes over positively?

Don't you think others feel the same when talking to you?

 

How can I not be dissatisfied when I keep getting rejected? I know that the girls are not trying to hurt me, but their lack of concern is what hurts.

 

It's a vicious circle. You drive away because of your attitude. Your attitude is made worse by their responses.....

 

Stop focussing on girls, relationships and lack of concern for your feelings. I'm sure they do not do this deliberately, I'm sure it is merely your perception. They are not thinking, "oh, I have no concern for this man, I don't care how he feels."

 

Start focussing on improving who you are.

Don't think of love, relationships, girls or being part of a couple.

be someone wonderful for yourself first. then you will be someone wonderful for someone else.

Try this.