Jade 02 Posted April 18, 2009 Posted April 18, 2009 Hi all!!! Well as some of you know from a while back,on the addiction,and abuse thrad,I have posted about my Morning,Noon,and Daily Night drunk I am married to for 5 years(been together 15). Now I was a drunk in the beggining with this man,but I grew up,and slowly weened till I quit. Since that his disease has progressed,into abuse,and him smashing my home,and throwing all my stuff away,and also physical abuse. Well he addmitted he was not happy,packed his truck(****faced of course)and left,with middle finger in the air,calling me the C word,and all. Well I met my Ex's sister online,and found my EX(that relation ship was 30 years ago,and I was with him for four years). I was way younger than him,but I loved him so much. He left me for a girl who wore dresses(I was biker type jeans and leather) Come to find out the winch he left me for had 5 kids,OH THEN HE WANTS ME BACK,well I have met another the day after he left me so,that was the end of that 4 year relationship. Time goes on,now 15 years ago,I met my husband I have now. He leaves,I get in touch with Ex,and EX is in a bad,real bad marraige,and wants to move down here with me,I agree,it was almost all planned,and ready to happen,THEN my drunk pulls in my yard 3 weeks after leaving. I didn't hide anything from either men,so EX calls right in front of my husbands presense. Hubby has been sober while Ex has been calling,now Ex is calling me once a week,to save money to come down,now that EX has stopped calling constanly,hubbys been back to getting falling down drunk daily. Now I have messed my whole head up,I love my hubby(but as Lizzy60 stated in another thread I read,a different kind of love,with hubby) Now I have my EX saying I love you! ALWAYS have! NEVER EVER stopped thinking about you,and now that I have found you,I'm hunting you down girl!!!!!. MAN!!!!! Did I get myself in a jam or what,and I hate to hurt either one of them,but one of them is going to get hurt by me,and this is whats screwing my head up. Almost worrying myself sick. Thanks I just wanted to write this down,there is no real answer,I got to get this straightened out myself,BUT DARN I hate a slobbering daily drunk,there is no decent conversations EVER!,never mind the sex part,and he dont work,and I loose so much sleep for my work,Im just dragged down all the time,because I do physical labor. Thanks for the space,Anyone relate even a lil?
Author Jade 02 Posted April 18, 2009 Author Posted April 18, 2009 Don't you have enough issues without getting involved with a MM? Leave that situation alone and deal with what you why you are with a drunken abuser again. Yeah your right,Thats why I named my thread what I did. I'm done with my drunk,he just won't leave,says I can't kick him out WE ARE MARRIED NOW!!!!!(his words) Theres no love,no sex for 5 years,he has his own room. BOOZE SMELLS right through the poors YUCK! MM,is my Ex who ALWAYS loved me,and his wife is sleeping with both of their roomates,and has always cheated,and took his money from him,The only reason they LIVE together is they bought their house together,and his wife knows all about me,and does not care. So NOW,I have to make a move to KEEP MYSELF SANE!!! away from my drunk. YOU WANT HIM???? He's got bucks? I'm his 5th wife,only I put up with his **** long enough. ,drunk left me,and Ex sister inlaw gets in touch or I get in touch with her,only to find my EX IS TOTALLY miserable.sleeping on couch for years,while she drinks vodka,and cheats for cash. EX works his ass off,like he always has. Pays for everything then she kicks him out after he pays. He's sober too,and wants to help me,get rid of the exscuse(drunk hubby) of why I use xanax. Thanks for trying to help,but nothanks,I'm fine bymyself also,but I never ever lived without a man EVER!!! I don't like it,being alone,and never will be. Drunks been a drunk all his life,wont even quit for his own son,or family,so I know he wont quit for me,and he has had some BEAUTIFUL,model wives,he never quit for either,so why would he quit for me,NOR for himself.
whichwayisup Posted April 18, 2009 Posted April 18, 2009 Speak to a lawyer and yes, you can kick him out, even if you ARE married. It's time for you to get some counselling in, learn how to be OK and happy alone. You'll have friends and family around for support, but it's good to be on your own. You'll learn more about you, be more independant and self sufficient as well. You don't need a man to complete you!!
theycallmeprincess Posted April 18, 2009 Posted April 18, 2009 Jade, the last thing you need right now is another man!!! You need to get away from the husband you have right now (especially if abuse is occuring), but not to run to another man who is someone else's husband. This is about you and your safety and your health, both mental and physical, to concentrate on this, without the interference of any man!
fooled once Posted April 18, 2009 Posted April 18, 2009 Can I ask how old you are? Your posts were very hard to read. Sounds like you need a man in your life; why else would you contact a former boyfriend from 15+ years ago? And you know he is married, yet you still plan for him to come live with you? As for MM,is my Ex who ALWAYS loved me,and his wife is sleeping with both of their roomates,and has always cheated,and took his money from him,The only reason they LIVE together is they bought their house together,and his wife knows all about me,and does not care. And you now this is true because he said so? He stays with a woman who supposedly is cheating on him with not one but 2 people? And she has always cheated? Took his money? And you know why they remain together because ....... ....my EX IS TOTALLY miserable.sleeping on couch for years,while she drinks vodka,and cheats for cash. EX works his ass off,like he always has. Pays for everything then she kicks him out after he pays. He's sober too,and wants to help me,get rid of the exscuse(drunk hubby) of why I use xanax. I always find it quite funny how so many women buy these sob stories from these men. If he was truly unhappy, he would have left. He hasn't. If he was that miserable, he would take steps to get away from his wife, divorce her and not look back. And so you need him to help you stop your drug addiction? Why not seek help, get yourself straightened out before venturing into a 'relationship' with a married man? My advice -- Work on YOU before you start anything.
Author Jade 02 Posted April 19, 2009 Author Posted April 19, 2009 Speak to a lawyer and yes, you can kick him out, even if you ARE married. It's time for you to get some counselling in, learn how to be OK and happy alone. You'll have friends and family around for support, but it's good to be on your own. You'll learn more about you, be more independant and self sufficient as well. You don't need a man to complete you!! Thanks WhichWay I agree about the lawyer,and sounds like a good Idea,but is it true,I have to have like a domestic violence report,or something like that along! with a lawyer? I also don't have the $$ for a lawyer,and I have also called the 1800 # for battered women,and also called domestic violence shelter here. They said I'd have to move out of MY HOME!!. I can'y afford that,and I have a job,that I need these days as we all know.(drunk does not work I think he is unemployable myself) $$$ everything costs,and I bareley make my own bills.(I think thats why I always feel like I cannot live alone without a man. It's like I'm scared to death to live alone),plus I met EX when I was 15 ( I lived on the streets for 2 years,before I met him,and he was 25 at the time) I am in counceling,maybe I should bring this up,if he(councelour) has time. I Will give it a shot Whichway. Also anytime I am alone like when drunk hubby left for three weeks,I was relaxed,and happy,and warm inside,and Hubby leaves sometimes(with his clothes packed,and unhappy,HE STILL UNHAPPY with himself,and me because I complain about his drinking ALL the time),but not enough times. But then I wake up,and get scared of life,bills,ETC. I always had a man,WHO I loved,help pay bills,I cant do it alone not with my police record,and education level. This country is not paying ANYONE crap theses days,and that stinks. Thanks for the nice reply Whichway,I will bring it up with my next shrink appointment(if I can afford to keep it,with no insurance.)
Author Jade 02 Posted April 19, 2009 Author Posted April 19, 2009 Can I ask how old you are? Your posts were very hard to read. Sounds like you need a man in your life; why else would you contact a former boyfriend from 15+ years ago? And you know he is married, yet you still plan for him to come live with you? As for MM,is my Ex who ALWAYS loved me,and his wife is sleeping with both of their roomates,and has always cheated,and took his money from him,The only reason they LIVE together is they bought their house together,and his wife knows all about me,and does not care. And you now this is true because he said so? He stays with a woman who supposedly is cheating on him with not one but 2 people? And she has always cheated? Took his money? And you know why they remain together because ....... ....my EX IS TOTALLY miserable.sleeping on couch for years,while she drinks vodka,and cheats for cash. EX works his ass off,like he always has. Pays for everything then she kicks him out after he pays. He's sober too,and wants to help me,get rid of the exscuse(drunk hubby) of why I use xanax. I always find it quite funny how so many women buy these sob stories from these men. If he was truly unhappy, he would have left. He hasn't. If he was that miserable, he would take steps to get away from his wife, divorce her and not look back. And so you need him to help you stop your drug addiction? Why not seek help, get yourself straightened out before venturing into a 'relationship' with a married man? My advice -- Work on YOU before you start anything. And fooled, I know this to be true because he stays at his sisters all the time!! Ex goes home to feed his cat,mail ETC.. He did by the house her ass is planted in)(But they are about to lose it too,because he quit giving her cash),,and the two male roomates are sitting on his couch,and then he leaves back to sisters,and talks to me for hours,and does cry,waiting for me to give the words COME ON DOWN. This is a man,that ALWAYS had a place in my heart,No I'm NOT IN LOVE with him,but I do love,and care about him. His sister tells me alot too of whats going on with him,She says HE MISSES YOU,and WANTS YOU jade!!!!!!!!! The Ex's marraige has been over two years prior to me getting in contact with his sister,So I did not ruin their marraige,he told me hunny! My marraige has been over with for years,I said oh same as mine(mine was over with as soon as we got married! Quess he(drunk hubby) thaught I was stuck with him,so now he can drink more,and I can't do a damn thing about it. IM THE FOOL!!!!!!!!!! How old are you? I didn't see anyone else have a problem reading my posts. I'm probably older than you,but you might have more of an education level(I'm an 8days in the 8th grade level).But street smart. I'm glad you find alot of these stories funny,because I sure don't see any humour in a broke heart or a sick person. Thanks for you 2 cents,but you make no sense to me either.
Author Jade 02 Posted April 19, 2009 Author Posted April 19, 2009 Jade, the last thing you need right now is another man!!! You need to get away from the husband you have right now (especially if abuse is occuring), but not to run to another man who is someone else's husband. This is about you and your safety and your health, both mental and physical, to concentrate on this, without the interference of any man! Thanks PRINCESS Your post is just about the same as Which,and I agree with you,But DARN!!! It's so hard,for me to even think about myself wanting to live alone. I'd like to try it,and see what it feels like anyways. I have daydreamed about it LOL. As I said the EX,s marraige has been over for years also.I did not ruin their marraige,and the Ex's wife knows about me,and wants him to leave,but it is his house.(he still is waiting for my words,to come on down) I also keep in touch with others in his family,he was great friends with my whole family,so he has really been in my life a while,My family lives up north where he is. Thanks again Princess only time will have to see where I end up.
Author Jade 02 Posted April 21, 2009 Author Posted April 21, 2009 Guess I din't mess up,seeing,I'm working on myself with counceling. But someones going to be hurt,and thats the problem,EVEN IF!! I chose to live alone,and hurting people sux.
sotired Posted April 21, 2009 Posted April 21, 2009 Wow.....You should drop all of the current men in your life. I would change my name, number and move so none of them could find me again. Good luck with everything...
Author Jade 02 Posted April 22, 2009 Author Posted April 22, 2009 Wow.....You should drop all of the current men in your life. I would change my name, number and move so none of them could find me again. Good luck with everything... Hi sotired,GOOD IDEA!! I wish I could change all my info,then I'd have a clean slate,but that would take an act of congress to do that,plus big bucks,to even close my police record. Thanks 4 trying
Author Jade 02 Posted December 25, 2009 Author Posted December 25, 2009 Hi sotired,GOOD IDEA!! I wish I could change all my info,then I'd have a clean slate,but that would take an act of congress to do that,plus big bucks,to even close my police record. Thanks 4 trying [/quote Working out now all thanks for all your replys,we are 12 stepping it now. Still hard,still same ole lifes bull crap,but we taking it head on SOBER WOOT WOOOOT Thank you all
Author Jade 02 Posted December 25, 2009 Author Posted December 25, 2009 Hi sotired,GOOD IDEA!! I wish I could change all my info,then I'd have a clean slate,but that would take an act of congress to do that,plus big bucks,to even close my police record. Thanks 4 trying [/quote Working out now all thanks for all your replys,we are 12 stepping it now. Still hard,still same ole lifes bull crap,but we taking it head on SOBER WOOT WOOOOT Thank you all QUESS THIS WAS AN UP DATE
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