Not sure what to title...different POV?

[Spizzarky]

Hey everyone, I'm new to this site :].

 

I guess I wanted to kind of share my story.

I'm 16 years old and I've had a pretty great life up until a few months ago. In November of 2008 my parents had a huge fight and my father moved out. January 1st, 2009 my father finally admitted to my mom of his affair (started in June of 2008). This was a HUGE shock to my mother, my brother, and to myself.

I don't know much about the "other woman".

I don't know her name, her profession, her interests.

I do know the state she lives in and that my father is in love with her.

I also know that she is divorced, has a son, and knew about myself, my brother, and my mom.

At first, I wanted to hate her. I made myself believe that I did.

Now, I have forgiven my dad, and the "other woman" as well.

I guess the point of all of this is I wanted to say that if you're the other man/woman, you could still have a relationship with your partner's kids.

I don't know if this was relevant to anyone but I guess I wanted to spill my story to someone hah.

Thanks for reading :].

[bentnotbroken]

You seem very mature and level headed. It is hard to forgive and the fact that you did shows just how mature you are. God bless you.

[desertmoon]

Hey everyone, I'm new to this site :].

 

I guess I wanted to kind of share my story.

I'm 16 years old and I've had a pretty great life up until a few months ago. In November of 2008 my parents had a huge fight and my father moved out. January 1st, 2009 my father finally admitted to my mom of his affair (started in June of 2008). This was a HUGE shock to my mother, my brother, and to myself.

I don't know much about the "other woman".

I don't know her name, her profession, her interests.

I do know the state she lives in and that my father is in love with her.

I also know that she is divorced, has a son, and knew about myself, my brother, and my mom.

At first, I wanted to hate her. I made myself believe that I did.

Now, I have forgiven my dad, and the "other woman" as well.

I guess the point of all of this is I wanted to say that if you're the other man/woman, you could still have a relationship with your partner's kids.

I don't know if this was relevant to anyone but I guess I wanted to spill my story to someone hah.

Thanks for reading :].

 

Hello, Spizz! It sounds like your mom handled your dad's infidelity well. Some people put their kids in the line of fire and make the kids choose. I am glad that did not happen to you.

 

This is a relevant post. It shows kids can come out of what could be a devastating experience alright, even happy. Thank you for sharing your story.

[White Flower]

Welcome Spizzarky! Yes, this IS a relevant post.

 

My dad had an OW and being the born-again good Christian girl I was I had serious issues with it for years. This caused a distance between all of us and eventually MY life was ruined because of my unwillingness to forgive and accept. Once I got over it, which took years that I'll never get back, my kids had a grandfather again. And even though they saw him less than their other grandfather he was by far their favorite!

 

I was with him every day at the end of his life taking care of him in his home with OW who eventually became his common law wife. She and I alternated caring for him (as well as my sis and step-brother) and we all bonded in ways I could never imagine. I really came full circle with the whole experience. After all, if Jesus could forgive us our sins, then why can't we forgive each other?

 

Then, I hope you're sitting lol, I became an OW. <gasp> And as much turmoil, frustration, and everything that comes from a secret A, I learned to forgive my dad even more deeply. I was able to understand all the facets and reasons he did what he did. I didn't go looking for an A to find this out, it just happened and I gleened from it.

 

Maybe you already know this, but your dad's OW is probably crazy about you! She wants so badly to be a part of your life because she loves your dad so much and pleasing you will please him which in turn pleases her! I'm glad you gave her a chance. There will definitely be adjustments but ones that you can certainly overcome.

 

Best,

WF.

[Athena]

Once I got over it, which took years that I'll never get back, my kids had a grandfather again. And even though they saw him less than their other grandfather he was by far their favorite!

Yes, not surprising, because of his seductive side, he was a natural charmer! My H too has this charming side to him, which all the nephews and nieces love, and I can only imagine what kind of a wonderful grandfather he will become.

 

 

 

Then, I hope you're sitting lol, I became an OW. <gasp> And as much turmoil, frustration, and everything that comes from a secret A, I learned to forgive my dad even more deeply. I was able to understand all the facets and reasons he did what he did.

Yup, when you cannot understand WHY, you can read, read, read about it, but if you have an A of your own, you see firsthand.

[White Flower]

Yes, not surprising, because of his seductive side, he was a natural charmer! My H too has this charming side to him, which all the nephews and nieces love, and I can only imagine what kind of a wonderful grandfather he will become.

 

 

 

Yup, when you cannot understand WHY, you can read, read, read about it, but if you have an A of your own, you see firsthand.

Yes, learning from books is very different from hands-on experience. Soooo many more facets to see and gleen from.

 

Funny about my dad. He wasn't the charmer in the typical sence yet he had a certain Americana type charm. My kids' other grandpa was from another country and my reconnecting with my dad gave my kids a chance at learning about our country and older generation culture through him which was invaluable. I always wanted to expose them to other cultures but for a while was guilty of concealing my own unconsciencely.