Type 2 error?

[spookie]

So, the last two times I was "sure" about someone, I ended up being wrong. "False positives", I call them. Jack and Wesley.

 

Lately I've been wondering how often type 2 errors happen. False negatives. If I've been wrong about the guys I thought were right, maybe I've been wrong about the guys I thought were wrong, too.

 

Could Rylan be my soulmate? How about Mike? Or Harry Potter ? (I think I might need a restraining order against him, as he's been calling me daily).

 

Then there's the kid who used to visit my baymate all the time, until i finally replied to his message on FB, and now he texts me traffic tips on his way to work and reminds me of jeans days, asking me out for each weekend just to get show down, but he hasn't visited since. He hasn't gotten the balls to talk to me in person, and I think that's so cute.

 

Or Rylan's roommate? He's a cute, smart electrical engineer. I find him only slightly annoying.

 

Should I date them? Which one?

 

All of them?

 

Why can't I get over Jack?

 

How am I supposed to get over him?

[spookie]

I don't want to end up alone and I am distinctly aware of my clock ticking, while I waste my best years pining over someone completely unattainable.

[allina]

Nooooooooo, don't date any of them. Forcing it will never be right. You just have to try to make it work/see if it will work with the ones you are interested in. One of these times it will be right and it will work. Until then you'll come close or half way, it's a process.

[spookie]

Nooooooooo, don't date any of them. Forcing it will never be right. You just have to try to make it work/see if it will work with the ones you are interested in. One of these times it will be right and it will work. Until then you'll come close or half way, it's a process.

 

At the rate I get interested though, I won't be dating until my late thirties.

 

That kind of depresses me.

 

Maybe there is such a thing as a type 2 error. Maybe I'm supposed to be opening my heart and letting all these guys I'd feel like I was settling for in it.

[allina]

At the rate I get interested though, I won't be dating until my late thirties.

 

That kind of depresses me.

 

Maybe there is such a thing as a type 2 error. Maybe I'm supposed to be opening my heart and letting all these guys I'd feel like I was settling for in it.

 

I think that will just further derail you from finding something real. You're too self aware to be content faking it.

 

I'm confident that you're a great catch, even with your little crazy outer layer. You're smart and lovable, you'll find the same, and it won;t be in the form of a man who is married or pisses the bed.

 

I promise.

[spookie]

I think that will just further derail you from finding something real. You're too self aware to be content faking it.

 

I'm confident that you're a great catch, even with your little crazy outer layer. You're smart and lovable, you'll find the same, and it won;t be in the form of a man who is married or pisses the bed.

 

I promise.

 

Heh. Thank you.

 

I would really love to get to end up with someone I didn't feel like I settled for. It just sometimes feels like maybe what I'm looking for is an illusion.

[Isolde]

I think the most crucial thing is to know a good guy when you find one, and to be able to give those guys a chance. If you do this, you will rarely make a Type 1 error.

 

Honestly, I think everyone meets some people that could potentially be great relationships, but for whatever reason it doesn't turn into dating. I can think of one right now that I met in college. We all pass by some good chances--Jack certainly is missing out for instance --but that doesn't mean you can't still minimize that.

[Lucky_One]

At the rate I get interested though, I won't be dating until my late thirties.

 

That kind of depresses me.

 

Maybe there is such a thing as a type 2 error. Maybe I'm supposed to be opening my heart and letting all these guys I'd feel like I was settling for in it.

 

Spookie? WHAT clock? You're like 22 or something.

 

You get interested in guys all the time, considering your age and the number of guys you have had relationships (or wannabe Rs). Give yourself some freaking time to get your head straight, before you go do something dumb.

 

You know, you don't HAVE to have sex every weekend or HAVE to have a guy. You CAN be happy and fulfilled all by yourself, and a LOT of people manage that.

[johan]

You'd be better off having a long distance relationship.

[spookie]

You'd be better off having a long distance relationship.

 

No kidding.

[wuggle]

Spookie? WHAT clock? You're like 22 or something.

 

Totally agree, this is rubish. Given what you have posted about your life so far this is SOOO not an issue.

 

But if you settle for any of these you are just selling yourself short, basically if it doesn't feel right don't date them.

 

Oh and if you DO go out with Harry Potter then I'm coming over there to sort you out.

[spookie]

Spookie? WHAT clock? You're like 22 or something.

 

You get interested in guys all the time, considering your age and the number of guys you have had relationships (or wannabe Rs). Give yourself some freaking time to get your head straight, before you go do something dumb.

 

You know, you don't HAVE to have sex every weekend or HAVE to have a guy. You CAN be happy and fulfilled all by yourself, and a LOT of people manage that.

 

Hey, I've been single for a year. I've spent all my free time getting my s!ht together. Don't group me with those girls that NEED a man to feel fulfilled.

[Lucky_One]

Hey, I've been single for a year. I've spent all my free time getting my s!ht together. Don't group me with those girls that NEED a man to feel fulfilled.

 

Then why this post?

[spookie]

I'm just trying to figure out if my whole approach to dating is backward. Waiting for these guys I have vibes about isn't really working.

[MN randomguy]

I'm just trying to figure out if my whole approach to dating is backward. Waiting for these guys I have vibes about isn't really working.

 

 

Befriend a lot of guys that you have vibes about. Guard your heart and don't fall for anyone until they make an effort to show some interest.

 

From a guy's perspective, It could be that they like you and are frantically trying to get their ***** together. That's where I am with a girl now. It won't work unless I am somewhat sane. In the real world we've only got one shot, so, why waste it.

 

Of course, you're HOT(I remember the picture thread) and 22. So, you may be intimidating to some guys. Relax a little.

[spookie]

Befriend a lot of guys that you have vibes about. Guard your heart and don't fall for anyone until they make an effort to show some interest.

 

From a guy's perspective, It could be that they like you and are frantically trying to get their ***** together. That's where I am with a girl now. It won't work unless I am somewhat sane. In the real world we've only got one shot, so, why waste it.

 

Of course, you're HOT(I remember the picture thread) and 22. So, you may be intimidating to some guys. Relax a little.

 

Thanks. =) I'm 23. I know that isn't old, but this last year flew by FAST, and I am aware that time just keeps speeding up as we get older. I may be young and pretty now, which is why I get so much attention, but this won't always be the case. If I don't want to end up alone, it seems like I should try to play my cards right now - instead of doing what I'm doing. Which is a lot of pining, and a lot of spending all my Saturdays alone.

[spookie]

Befriend a lot of guys that you have vibes about. Guard your heart and don't fall for anyone until they make an effort to show some interest.

 

From a guy's perspective, It could be that they like you and are frantically trying to get their ***** together. That's where I am with a girl now. It won't work unless I am somewhat sane. In the real world we've only got one shot, so, why waste it.

 

Of course, you're HOT(I remember the picture thread) and 22. So, you may be intimidating to some guys. Relax a little.

 

I only have vibes every couple of years. The guy I have strong vibes about now is unattainable. I've liked him for almost a year. =(

 

The other guys ARE going for me. Sometimes it's tempting to just surrender to a relationship, since I KNOW it would actually make me happy. I just also know it wouldn't stop me from hoping for and looking for more.

[MN randomguy]

The other guys ARE going for me. Sometimes it's tempting to just surrender to a relationship, since I KNOW it would actually make me happy. I just also know it wouldn't stop me from hoping for and looking for more.

 

 

I'm thinking of the book I posted about reading a month ago. Is there something in between dating these guys and blowing them off. Maybe be honest, you're too messed up for dating, but if they get a group of peeps together to do something give you a call. They get comfortable hanging around pretty girls , you get distracted from Jack. maybe something blossoms sometime later, or not. Then, of course birds of a feather flock together and you'll have the whole lifetime channel fictional romance with one of their friends.

[spookie]

I'm thinking of the book I posted about reading a month ago. Is there something in between dating these guys and blowing them off. Maybe be honest, you're too messed up for dating, but if they get a group of peeps together to do something give you a call. They get comfortable hanging around pretty girls , you get distracted from Jack. maybe something blossoms sometime later, or not. Then, of course birds of a feather flock together and you'll have the whole lifetime channel fictional romance with one of their friends.

 

That was working out for me with 2 of these guys until they declared it was getting too painful for them and that I had to make a choice, or they were cutting me out.

 

Thus the thread.

 

One of them, HP's friend, I am not terribly attracted to; but I love all the parts of his personality, and I think he's starting to win me over. Part of me is scared I'm going to fcvk with his heart. (He is such a great guy). The other part... is wondering if there's a happily ever after, after lukewarm.

[MN randomguy]

That was working out for me with 2 of these guys until they declared it was getting too painful for them and that I had to make a choice, or they were cutting me out.

 

Thus the thread.

 

One of them, HP's friend, I am not terribly attracted to; but I love all the parts of his personality, and I think he's starting to win me over. Part of me is scared I'm going to fcvk with his heart. (He is such a great guy).

 

I'd give him a shot then. Take it slow and let him know a bit about what he's getting into. Eventually you're going to have to date a great guy if you want to wind-up with one.

 

The other part... is wondering if there's a happily ever after, after lukewarm.

 

One of my friends once pointed out, that it is very uncommon in relationships for both parties to be equally interested in the beginning. It used to be a common romance story for a guy to "wear a girl down" he said he's known a guy who have asked the same girl out a dozen times until she finally caved. Now they are VERY happily married.

 

I'm convinced young women don't know what they want. My grandma was engaged to some other dude until grandpa got involved. They winded up getting married and having 9 kids.

[spookie]

I want to give him a shot because he is the kind of guy I want to end up with. It's just the chemical part that's not really there. When I met him, the first thought that ran through my mind was, wow, he is really unattractive. I don't think that now that I know what a great guy he is.

 

However. I don't know. Doing physical things with someone I feel as strongly for as I do Jack would be amazing. I want to hold out until the chemistry is so strong I'm fantasizing about it every night.

 

So maybe I shouldn't date HP's friend?

 

I am so confused.

 

He, on the other hand, is not confused at all. He has liked me for a year and knows he wants a serious relationship. He says he never meets women he feels strongly about, and is willing to take it as slowly as I want.

 

I don't want to fcvk with his heart, which I'm thinking is inevitable if I get involved with him. But is it? Maybe if I gave him a chance, I'd discover all sorts of amazing things about him, and fall in love, and that would be my surprising happily ever after; one which I did not manufacture myself, in my head, and manipulate the s!ht out of, at all.

[Storyrider]

I want to give him a shot because he is the kind of guy I want to end up with. It's just the chemical part that's not really there. When I met him, the first thought that ran through my mind was, wow, he is really unattractive. I don't think that now that I know what a great guy he is.

 

However. I don't know. Doing physical things with someone I feel as strongly for as I do Jack would be amazing. I want to hold out until the chemistry is so strong I'm fantasizing about it every night.

 

So maybe I shouldn't date HP's friend?

 

I am so confused.

 

He, on the other hand, is not confused at all. He has liked me for a year and knows he wants a serious relationship. He says he never meets women he feels strongly about, and is willing to take it as slowly as I want.

 

I don't want to fcvk with his heart, which I'm thinking is inevitable if I get involved with him. But is it? Maybe if I gave him a chance, I'd discover all sorts of amazing things about him, and fall in love, and that would be my surprising happily ever after; one which I did not manufacture myself, in my head, and manipulate the s!ht out of, at all.

Yeah, but see, I think this is where women allow ourselves to get entangled with someone we're only luke warm about. "I no longer find him unattractive," is not a good enough reason to pursue a relationship with someone. You should want to jump him.

[spookie]

Yeah, but see, I think this is where women allow ourselves to get entangled with someone we're only luke warm about. "I no longer find him unattractive," is not a good enough reason to pursue a relationship with someone. You should want to jump him.

 

I've only wanted to jump two people in my life, and neither of them wanted to jump me.

 

Perhaps that says something about the types of men I choose.

[Storyrider]

I've only wanted to jump two people in my life, and neither of them wanted to jump me.

 

Perhaps that says something about the types of men I choose.

Would it depress you a lot if I suggested life is just like that?

[spookie]

Would it depress you a lot if I suggested life is just like that?

 

Yes. :sick::sick::sick::sick::sick::sick: