dreamergrl Posted April 17, 2009 Posted April 17, 2009 So, my bf left on Sunday to stay in IA for some work for a few months. It was hard at first, but he contacts me either by phone or sends me a message everyday. At first, I teared up a lot, was worried, as I don't handle long distant relationships well (got burned by an ex a few years ago), but every day I feel better about it. I'm not feeling insecure or distrusting. Sometimes it's hard, but I'm doing well considering it's me. I truly didn't think I'd be able to deal with this. Yeah yeah, I know some of you feel I got too invested, but even still, I'm doing good with everything. I even feel confident that things will be okay. I'm just surprised at myself, in a good way .
Star Gazer Posted April 17, 2009 Posted April 17, 2009 Is this the same BF? Yay! I'm glad you've been able to work things out. But remember, it's only been 5 days that he's been gone. Don't assume anything either which way.
Author dreamergrl Posted April 17, 2009 Author Posted April 17, 2009 Is this the same BF? Yay! I'm glad you've been able to work things out. But remember, it's only been 5 days that he's been gone. Don't assume anything either which way. Thanks SG! Yeah it is the same bf. I've actually been able to work past all that happened, and now through this. I know it's only been 5 days, and while it's not easy, I'm just happy I'm dealing with it better then I would have thought I could. He wrote me a letter before I left, for me to keep and look back at. I read it often, and it always makes me feel good. He told me before he left that he wishes he could have done some things differently, but he can't take it back, only show me that (and that intends to do so) that he really can be trusted. Everyday he makes sure I know some way or another that he cares and thinks about me all the time.
Author dreamergrl Posted April 17, 2009 Author Posted April 17, 2009 Oooh, I wanted to add, one thing that has been hard, may I add, is finding some friends around here (something a few people said I should do, and I agree). I feel like I'm in the middle of no where. It's always been difficult for me to befriend females. I'm in and surrounded by small towns that are full of fake girls. Clicks. Where everyone knows everyone. I'll be moving by the end of June (thank God). I've had a girl at work invite me out to have a few drinks with her, but I've been putting money away, so that's not really an option for me. I got invited out by a guy friend. I actually dated him BRIEFLY, but it didn't work out like that, and we just remained friends. Bf didn't like that one too much, but I was honest about it, and didn't want to do anything behind his back. I can understand the feeling though, since I had dated his guy before, even if it was just for a few weeks. So the making new friends thing is hard.
northstar1 Posted April 17, 2009 Posted April 17, 2009 How long is he gone for? There is nothing in Iowa but corn, and churches. Can't imagine he'll want to stay long
thewingwoman Posted April 17, 2009 Posted April 17, 2009 Oooh, I wanted to add, one thing that has been hard, may I add, is finding some friends around here (something a few people said I should do, and I agree). I feel like I'm in the middle of no where. It's always been difficult for me to befriend females. I'm in and surrounded by small towns that are full of fake girls. Clicks. Where everyone knows everyone. I'll be moving by the end of June (thank God). I've had a girl at work invite me out to have a few drinks with her, but I've been putting money away, so that's not really an option for me. I got invited out by a guy friend. I actually dated him BRIEFLY, but it didn't work out like that, and we just remained friends. Bf didn't like that one too much, but I was honest about it, and didn't want to do anything behind his back. I can understand the feeling though, since I had dated his guy before, even if it was just for a few weeks. So the making new friends thing is hard. Are you a member of a gym? If not, I suggest joining an all female gym to find some female friends. One that offers classes are best, since it's a great way to get closer to some of the girls, and you have something common to kick off conversation. Other than that, guy friends are a great way to find female friends as well. I moved to a new town a few years ago, and my first friend and roommate was a guy, so needless to say, most of his guy friends became my core group of friends to begin with. But when they started bringing their girlfriends around, a few of them were easy to bond with (and some not so much). So when I began hanging out with their girlfriends and their female friends, I developed my own group of female friends courtesy of my guy friends.
Author dreamergrl Posted April 17, 2009 Author Posted April 17, 2009 How long is he gone for? There is nothing in Iowa but corn, and churches. Can't imagine he'll want to stay long Till around June, depends on how things go. He's in Cedar Rapids. He went to stay with a chick friend from highschool. Whom I did actually find out was hoping for me, but that got straightened out by him (which I was skeptical about at first, but got confirmation later, without trying, that he wants nothing to do with her like that and put up the boundaries asap). Are you a member of a gym? If not, I suggest joining an all female gym to find some female friends. One that offers classes are best, since it's a great way to get closer to some of the girls, and you have something common to kick off conversation. Other than that, guy friends are a great way to find female friends as well. I moved to a new town a few years ago, and my first friend and roommate was a guy, so needless to say, most of his guy friends became my core group of friends to begin with. But when they started bringing their girlfriends around, a few of them were easy to bond with (and some not so much). So when I began hanging out with their girlfriends and their female friends, I developed my own group of female friends courtesy of my guy friends. No, I get bored with the gym. I hate doing stuff like that by myself, it sounds dumb, but I lose focus. I love socializing, but yet I have a shy side to me. I did meet a few people through this guy friend, but bf really does not want me to hang out with a guy I dated, no matter for how short it was. Honestly, I can't blame him, I'd be feeling the same way. Even though he has nothing to worry about, because if I don't want to be with him, I'll straight out tell him. I would still have the same icky feelings about it. He said he's worried that because he's not around, this guy will try something with me, and he wont be able to do anything about it. I can respect where he's coming from.
likestolaugh Posted April 17, 2009 Posted April 17, 2009 stay strong dreamer. You sound like a genuinely good person, and I'm sure your bf saw that. No worries
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