JLT123 Posted April 17, 2009 Posted April 17, 2009 I broke up with my girlfriend of about 3 years 4 months ago. I'll dispense with the usual string of emotions one goes through when dealing with things like this.. think about her all the time, wondering what she's doing, can't stand the thought of other men being around her, et al. I'll make the backstory as brief as possible: We met, almost fell in love immediately. I was the type of person that, roughly every other weekend, we would go out and I would probably have too much to drink. She made it known that it bothered her, but I continued to do it, just because I never thought she would really care. Issues started to spring up with her.. she was way too controlling sometimes, constantly needed to knwo what I was doing, etc. I wan't originally from the area, so she was basically my life and she was my center of attention. When I actually did go out with the one or two friends I had (we're talking 9 months here) she would call constantly wondering where I was at and what I was doing. I ended up meeting another girl at work I thought I had feelings for, and subsequently broke up with the ex. As it turns out, it was nothing more than a crush, and I tried reconciling with my ex. She agreed, but she didn't want me to drink as much when we went out, which I agreed to and abided by. Some things happened when we were seperated (we're talking maybe 3 months here) that she did that I had to get over, but things were working out for the most part. Well, one night I was convinced to go out with a friend of mine after work. As I was driving home I pulled my car over to sleep because I had about 4 glasses of wine and felt my eyes closing. The next thing I know a cop was knocking on my window, and I was arrested for DUI. This, to my girlfriend, was unforgivable. She left me in jail, and a friend had to come bail me out. She was convinced that I was no longer the right person for her, even though for 4 years I gave anything and everything to her, had a phenomenal relationship with her family, and her with mine, and even though I strayed, went we got back together I realized she was the one woman I loved more than anyone before her. So yeah, I was arrested, and my girlfriend dumped me the next day. I tried convicing her that it was no big deal, that I would get through it, and be a better person for it, but nothing would convince her. Suffice it to say, since December my life has been a 24/7 nightmare. If I'm not having vivid dreams about her that wake me up at 3 AM and I can't get back to sleep (and having to get up for work in 4 hours), then I'm complining to firends about the situation non-stop (and I'm sure they're getting tired of it) Some say a better woman would've been there for me and I'm better off, some say I just need more time. I tried calling on V-Day and she hung up the phone. I sent her flowers on our anniversary and I got text saying "Thank You, but nothing has changed and I don't want to communicate with you." She's Greek, and I had some drop earring imported from Cyprus to give to her for the Orthodox Easter. They were, well, expensive, so very nice. I know the responses I will get.. that I'm acting pathetic, and desperate, but know this.. I do not have issues picking up women, and have hooked up with two other girls since we broke up (obviously this was in a vain effort to fill an un-fillable void) I know I'll get the same advice here that I'm getting from friends, probably more blunt since my friends feel more sorry for me than anything. I've quit drinking all-together.. with maybe the exception of a beer or two to have something in my hand when I go out. I went through 8 weeks of counseling and it did nothing to help. My heart races and my mind goes in 20 different directions thinking about everything. No girl compares to how beautiful she was to me, no girl has the same amount of sophistication, and all I want to do is continue to fight to prove to her that she's making a mistake, and I fear that the longer I wait the more likely it is she'll find someone else. Though I have not done it, I constantly feel compelled to drive to her house and knock on her door un-announced, though I'm of the thinking that would be the wrong thing to do. I've been trying to better myself in the ways she wanted me to, and I sincerely think I'm doing all these things for the wrong reasons, but as Woody Allen said, "Sometimes, the heart wants what the heart wants." Anyway, I'm sure this story isn't special or out of the ordinary, but I felt the need to type it out nonetheless.
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