Template Posted April 17, 2009 Posted April 17, 2009 If you do a search on my name, you'll find a series of interesting tidbits in ending of my relationship. It's the past and I really don't care anymore -things happened, and I accept it. But, here's an interesting scenario, and I'm curious what y'all think, so put on your thinking caps So my ex has been systematically removing me from any type of contact, facebook, myspace, blog sites, etc. However, we also belong to linkedin (professional networking site), and recently she has taken me off. However, if you know how linkedin works, there's that 1st point of contact, then there's the 2nd degree of seperation. Since we shared many of the same collegues, there's that little connection. Alright, so when we were just friends, I've written a sincere glowing recommendation for her. When we were together, she was unemployed, and had a hard time finding a position of her wanting, and for all I know still continues to this day. She doesn't want to step down in level of position, and I've always encouraged her, before/during/after the breakup, that she should pursue what makes her happy. (Unfortunately, in this economy, some sacrifices have to be made.) I've never minded keeping my recommendation active for her, and I've hoped that little bit helps in her finding a position. I try to keep my professional life and personal life totally seperate, so even if I didn't like a former employee, I'd have no hesitation writing a recommendation. if they professionally they deserved it. So here's my question: Should I withdraw the recommendation? It has been a long, painful, torturous road, but I feel that I'm truly getting "over" her. I'm no longer angry at her, nor do I want her back. I hope that one day she is blessed with happiness, or at the very least blessed with the clarity to make herself happy. I don't know why she took me off as 1st connection, and left the recommendation, as I imagine she probalby doesn't want anything to do with me (and that's her perrogative.) So what do you all think? Withdraw? Don't withdraw? Doesn't matter, help out a fellow human being? et? Oh BTW... While there is too many people here to thank, I do want to thank everyone here for the understanding and support only you LSers can provide.
Ronni_W Posted April 17, 2009 Posted April 17, 2009 I can't see any reason for you to withdraw your support just because she appears to be struggling and feeling the need to do some more "disconnecting" from you in order for her to heal/recover/move forward. If it's coming from a petty or vindictive place, "she's doing this so I'll do that," then it's up to you to decide if that is how you really want to live your life (which, at end of day, has absolutely nothing to do with how she or anyone else is deciding to live their lives.)
Recommended Posts