tuscansun Posted April 17, 2009 Posted April 17, 2009 So like the title says I know this is probably stupid and I know that Im kind of wrong in this situation so PLEase Be Understanding.... Basically I have this huge crush on this guy that has a girlfriend. In his defense He did tell me he had a girlfriend, he didn't try to hide it at all. However, AGAINST his defense I met him on Plenty Of Fish where he claimed to be just looking for friends because he hasn't lived in California very long. We talked online for about a month. He was pretty flirty Ill admit for awhile there and I maintained my distance for one because he had a girlfriend and two because, well I met him online and how serious can that be. Also I found out that he lived only about 2 miles away from me. Crazy. Anyway, this past Monday I had the day off, as did he and I, yes I, suggested we meet up. He said I should come over and watch a movie or something and it was about noon so I figured okay, better than a 11pm bootycall...When i got there, he was ten times hotter than his pictures (when does THAT ever happen). He was ridiculously fun, we played chess, had a rather intense couch pillow fight. We didn't go near his bedroom, He really didn't even go near me. For once, I felt like I was getting teased, not vice versa. In short nothing happened and I felt guilty for being so mad that he wouldn't touch me. At the end of our playdate though ( I left after a couple hours, couldn't really handle it anymore) he did pin me against the door in this really hot kind of hold, I think we both were just really worked up. He didn't kiss me though, didn't really do anything but grab me in this way...ANyway, I'm ashamed to say I'm nursing the most High school crush at age 23. Whats worse is he's backed off. He's been IMing me a lot but its almost like he's badgering me for info but won't give me any himself which I don't have patience for so I usually just end up looking for a reason to sign off cuz the whole thing is stupid. I wish I didn't feel this way because it's bothering me. Is he guilty, did he not find me attractive, I don't know. i told him our whole 'friend idea' clearly wasn't gonna work because of the tension, he's like 'what tension' as if we both weren't totally horny the whole time and as if he didn't pin me against his door like a hungry animal...I'm annoyed, mostly with myself. Help.
Lizzie60 Posted April 17, 2009 Posted April 17, 2009 Don't waste your time on someone who will eventually break your heart if you stick around. Move on... Stop asking yourself all these questions.. why is it so important now.. you know he's not for you.. he's a player.. I don't know why you can't see that. He has someone but is still looking on PoF.. come on now.. this guy is NOT looking for platonic friendship.. He's looking for sex... why he didn't touch you.. this is hard to say.. probably cause he wasn't 'horny' enough.. he just wanted to 'tease' you... and make you fall for him.. cause, trust me, he knew he had you under his 'spell'... You're in for a painful ride with this guy.. trust me.. I am old enough to differentiate players and a good guy.
Kaii Posted April 17, 2009 Posted April 17, 2009 If he's chatting and meeting women on POF while he has a GF, then that should tell you how trustworthy he is. What makes you think that he wouldn't do the exact same thing to you, if the two of you were in a relationship? Does his GF know that he invited you over to his place??? I wonder what she would think about that? What if the roles were reversed, how would you feel about it? If you do want to continue on with this (which I think is a horrible idea), then make sure he breaks it off with his GF first.
Author tuscansun Posted April 17, 2009 Author Posted April 17, 2009 Agreed and Agreed. I should be smarter than this for sure. Ill let it go...But Good Lord is he Fine.... And yes I know it's lame of me and very lame of him. I think I try to kid myself into thinking I could be emotionally unattached but the fact that it's irritating me this much already is obviously a sign that I couldn't so.....I'll ignore. He's a tool.
DNU1 Posted April 18, 2009 Posted April 18, 2009 This is called an emotional affair. You don't want any part of him. Get as far away as possible. Think about it...if he's chatting / texting / emailing you when he has a GF, what would he do if you were his GF? Be done with him, NOW!
RecordProducer Posted April 18, 2009 Posted April 18, 2009 He totally sounds like a player. Especilaly because he invited you to his house and nothing happened.
D-Lish Posted April 18, 2009 Posted April 18, 2009 Do you know how many guys there are on POF and other dating sites that are married or have a gf? TONS. I have chatted with many. They usually reach out and it says they are looking for friendship- then it comes out that they are in a relationship... What to do about this? I delete and ignore as soon as I find this out. Firstly- the fact that he is on a dating site while he has a girlfriend means he either intends to cheat, or he is using you to pass time. That move at the end on his part was pretty classic... It was bait to keep you interested- to stroke his ego enough to make him feel good... but nothing actually happened, so he doesn't have to feel guilty or feel like he is cheating. The bottom line is that even if he did break up with his gf to date you.... you already know he isn't trustworthy. Also, if you do get involved with him- you'll get hurt. It's not worth putting yourself in this position knowing what the outcome will be. Walk away- cut him off cold. Nothing good can come of this.
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