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Still haunted by her after 8 months


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Posted

8 months NC and i still think about her everyday.

I was only with her for 7 months in the relationship !!

I really loved her

she cheated and abused me so i should be glad to be shot of her but i cant seem to let go.

I've been getting on with my life and focusing on myself but just cant seem to shake her fom my system.

I had a bad turn recently when i found out she was dating someone i knew but it would seem that she wanted me to know this then she told the guy that she couldnt see him anymore, it was like she was deliberatly trying to get at me.

I long to let go but just can't

I need to change everything in my life, my job, where i live, everything. . . ive had enough.

 

NC is completly nessesary but it is really hard because you are left wondering if they will break, its the anticipation of it and the not knowing.

 

sorry about the ramble i just needed to vent.

Posted

An 8 month obsession about a 7 month relationship is not healthy &, IMO, has gone way beyond what could be considered the normal range of grief following a loss. This is no longer about her or the relationship.

 

I need to change everything in my life, my job, where i live, everything. . .

 

No - that is way too drastic, but it might be time to seek a professional opinion about what is going on with you here.

  • Author
Posted
An 8 month obsession about a 7 month relationship is not healthy &, IMO, has gone way beyond what could be considered the normal range of grief following a loss. This is no longer about her or the relationship.

 

I need to change everything in my life, my job, where i live, everything. . .

 

No - that is way too drastic, but it might be time to seek a professional opinion about what is going on with you here.

 

 

I agree with you.

I dont even understand it myself

I already am getting help for it, i'm on anti depressants and anxiety meds, the depression and anxiety were caused by the relationship and the way i was treated.

I agree i'm a mess and i'm trying to sort it out.

I was just venting.

Posted
I agree with you.

I dont even understand it myself

I already am getting help for it, i'm on anti depressants and anxiety meds, the depression and anxiety were caused by the relationship and the way i was treated.

I agree i'm a mess and i'm trying to sort it out.

I was just venting.

 

no don't agree with him. He isn't some relationship advice authority and neither should you believe him.

 

Don't put a time frame to your healing. Injury comes in different form and severity. If you think the pain is unbearable and you get thoughts of suicide or other extreme forms, then yes you absolutely should seek professional help. But I wouldn't be so quick to say ur crazy.

 

I had a relationship for 1 yr. Im at 8 month mark and barely coming to terms with it. but im getting better and almost fully healing.

Posted
no don't agree with him. He isn't some relationship advice authority and neither should you believe him.

 

:confused:

 

I never claimed to be an authority on anything & didn't ask him to believe me - I offered an opinion. Spot the difference ?

 

I agree i'm a mess and i'm trying to sort it out.

 

gutted1 - I never said you were a mess either & FWIW I don't think that you are. Right now you're just someone who needs some help, we all do at times, & good that you are seeking it - I hope it is more than pharmaceutical.

 

Good luck.

Posted
8 months NC and i still think about her everyday.

I was only with her for 7 months in the relationship !!

I really loved her

she cheated and abused me so i should be glad to be shot of her but i cant seem to let go.

I've been getting on with my life and focusing on myself but just cant seem to shake her fom my system.

I had a bad turn recently when i found out she was dating someone i knew but it would seem that she wanted me to know this then she told the guy that she couldnt see him anymore, it was like she was deliberatly trying to get at me.

I long to let go but just can't

I need to change everything in my life, my job, where i live, everything. . . ive had enough.

 

NC is completly nessesary but it is really hard because you are left wondering if they will break, its the anticipation of it and the not knowing.

 

sorry about the ramble i just needed to vent.

 

 

Gutted, I would not worry about the length of the R with regards to your healing time. We all heal at our own rates, and if you had lot's of feelings invested in this R then it's reasonable to have a hard time letting go. Now, the best thing you can do here is shift your focus. Start to focus on the many things you have going on in your life that don't include her. Like your job, family friends and hobbys. You will get there. Just take your time and work through your feelings. Best wishes.

 

Mea:)

Posted

Length should not matter it's how much you invested .

  • Author
Posted

I invested everything in the relationship.

 

I know what my problem is. . . .its that i have great difficulty with change and detachment.

 

I'd like to be able to deal with this better.

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