Snow Trap Posted April 17, 2009 Posted April 17, 2009 Hi Here's my dilemma and if anyone can help me i would be sooo greatfull. Basically im 19 and about a year ago i dated a girl for 3 months, shes the same age as me. Ive never had a gf before through choice as ive never really liked anyone enough. During those 3 months i really struggled to be myself around her and found myself almost in a shell and eventually i think this got too much for her and we broke up. I was devestated and tried to reason with her at first but i knew i was just clutching at straws. I moved to uni during the last couple of weeks of our relationship which may of put an extra strain on us. We spoke very rarely after we broke up and if we did it was a very muted conversation. We broke up in September and after that i went round to her house twice as a friend in that same month. But in October we had an argument over the net for some reason and we stopped speaking. This went on untill December where she txt me out of the blue asking am i ok ect ect. I said yes and asked her and she eventually started to talk about when we were togather, of which i said i don't think we should talk about this. She reacted badly and we fell out again. Now March comes along and again, out of the blue, she messages me and we start up contact again. It's all nice, too nice even, and she seems very interested in how i am and we chat for a good few hours. We eventually decide we need to meet up again. Baring in mind i havent seen this girl for around 5 months and i am still convinced she's the one. I acctually diddnt date anyone else during this period of time because i liked her that much... So she says i should come out with her and her 3 friends, which i agree to... As we were walking she said she was nervous and stopped me in the middle of the street and grabbed my hands and kissed me. She is normally quite shy herself and this is completly out of character... This goes on all night and she is acting very couple like with me, and it wasnt drunken kissing, more of bf/gf kissing. The morning comes and she tottally ignores the matter but says she had an amazing night. I bring it up eventually and she says she kissed me because she was confussed. I diddnt ask her about getting back togather or anything but she still come out with, "i can't be with anyone" i said ok, your your own person and we left it at that. Does she still like me? Is there anyway I could get her back? and what does "i can't be with anyone" mean?! Thanks so much for taking your time to help me with this
Dumbledore Posted April 17, 2009 Posted April 17, 2009 Baring in mind i havent seen this girl for around 5 months and i am still convinced she's the one. Thinking about her naked is a poor substitute for the real thing. Tell her you want to get back together.
Author Snow Trap Posted April 17, 2009 Author Posted April 17, 2009 Thinking about her naked is a poor substitute for the real thing. Tell her you want to get back together. Although i diddnt ask her directly she said "she can't be with anyone" which i don't understand, but honestly all the signs were there. I know it sounds daft but i know she still likes me, well maybe i just want to believe that. I don't want to say how i feel if she's not in the same place. I mean ive lost her before because i still loved her but im not sure i can just be her friend as it kills me to think of her with anyone else.
confused one Posted April 24, 2009 Posted April 24, 2009 shes confusing herself and you i think. To be honest when a girl wants to be with you i feel she will be, its usually the guys who find it hard to settle down. I think she does miss you but when its convienient for her. She can go for long periods without talking to you then out if the blue go on like nothing has happened. From my persepective its all one sided. You said you found it hard to be yourself around her, primarily in a relationship this isn't a good thing, when its meant to be you should be comfortable to be yourself without the other person judging you, they should accept you the way you are. I think you do care about each other but has she dated anyone in the time you haven't been together? I think she feels like your the one that'll treat her right so she may be forcing herself to imagine what it would be like to be with you as you are reliable and always there when she needs you, but she may not be that into you hence why she says she cant be in a relationship. You need to speak to her about it tell her how you feel if she goes off on one or says your over-reacting then she is playing games and you need to stay away rom her because she'll mess with your emotions...if on the other hand she is caring and answers truthfully then take things from there at least after the "talk" you'll know pretty much where you stand good luck
LovesHangover Posted April 25, 2009 Posted April 25, 2009 It is better to know for certain than to wonder. Honestly, tell her what is so for you, that you still care and want another chance. She will either say yes or no. Either things will remain the same or change. There is nothing to fear. Respect her choice, and take it from there. The best part about any answer she gives is that you will have clarity.Always express what you want and how you feel. Every thing may not go your way, but full self expression is a powerful way to approach life while approaching what is important to you like it doesn't is for cowards, and you'll almost never get what you want. Not expressing I love you is like saying it doesn't matter. Do NOT play yourself. Who you are and how you feel matters! Trust me I learned the HARD and PAINFUL WAY!I am rooting for you to get clarity. Anything else will be icing, trust me!#1 CowardLovesHangover
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