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Posted

I'll make this brief. I'm young, almost 17. Male, and never been in a relationship. Sure I've pursued a girl or two and have no problem with the whole lonely thing... except... I can't get this girl off my mind. it's not what you think. she's already rejected me a few years ago and went off to another school. I saw her recently and... well I know what it feels like to like someone but I have never... I never knew I could have liked her that much... chances of us are so slim right now and... I know that but I don't know why she still weighs so heavily on my mind... why am I thinking of her everyday?

Posted

Why do you think you are thinking of her everyday?

  • Author
Posted

It's... like no one else compares to her... maybe I have problems letting go of her. I think... I just fell so hard and fast for her than someone is meant to... If I said I fell in love with her for the briefest moment I saw her again... that'd be so stupid of me I guess. But the question I put forward to you is... is this going to be a detrimental problem for me?

Posted

No, I don't think so, since what you have fallen in love with, really, is the Fantasy of her... you never had a real relationship with her, so it wasn't really love.

It's okay to have a fantasy woman... and one day soon when you find a real flesh and blood girl to love, the hold on you from your fantasy girl won't be as strong anymore...

  • Author
Posted

yes I think you can be quite right. she is probably just a fantasy girl to me. hmm I'll reflect on this then. Time will tell then? I can easily go no contact, and all I have to do is maintain the temptation of trying to talk to her and that's it? the feeling will die out? I hope so... it almost worked last time...

  • Author
Posted

However still one question... why do I feel stronger about this girl than anyone else on this earth? Why didn't this happen with any other girl I liked? sorry for double post.

Posted
However still one question... why do I feel stronger about this girl than anyone else on this earth? Why didn't this happen with any other girl I liked? sorry for double post.

 

I think that this never happened with any other girl you liked, because this girl embodies a lot of your 'ideal' girl traits, and other things, perhaps like her pheromones could be driving you wild for her... so, yes, while you would love to have a relationship with her because she is your ideal girl, she does not wish to have a relationship with YOU.

 

This, I might add, does not mean you could NEVER have her... it's unlikely you can have her if she has said so, BUT not impossible ... sometimes... and I have seen this many times... a relationship that begins with the girl being intensely annoyed by a guy, and hating him and wanting nothing to do with him, Sometimes comes around!!! Yes... I know of some cases where they ended up getting married, ha ha... all because the boy Relentlessly pursued her, and as she got to spend more time with him, gradually came to get to know him, and like him.

 

Look, 'no' is no... but... if you seriously want to make a go of getting her -- Go For It! What do you have to lose? Yeah -- sure, some knocks to your self-esteem... so what if you are consistently and savagely rejected, lol... but... it would give you experience and then you would also know you didn't just give up but tried your best to win her over!

 

I can honestly tell you, that even me, as a married woman of 44, I WANT my man to 'fight' for me... and I am not alone as far as women go... no matter what their age... so... in your future dating world, while respecting 'no' means 'no' -- also leave no stone unturned... and draw the line between foisting yourself physically on a girl and trying really hard to win her over!

 

You have not forgotten this girl because you really fancy her in so many different ways.

In time, of course you will get over her... but ... for now those feelings are overwhelming... now, tell me... what is it about her that you like so much?

Is she feisty? Strong? Confident? Beautiful? what?

 

Edited to Add: I just re-read your original post, and see that she hasn't recently rejected you, but did so a couple of years ago! Wow -- don't let that stop you!

Be bold, be confident (act it with her even if you don't feel it) and LET HER KNOW you are into her... it is very flattering and she may well give you a chance THIS time... sometimes, when girls are very young, like she was a few years ago, they are shy, insecure, and may come across as rejecting a boy for those reasons... make it easy on her by being charming...

  • Author
Posted

hmm well yes maybe but... well what I was really saying is that me and this girl barely talk, let alone she acknowledges me. She's so distant and I was posting only curious why I felt so strongly about this... 'stranger' if you will than lets say the hot new girl in school.

 

either way yes I do fancy her still. and... being where I am now, pursuing her like this is no way viable for me or her (I don't think so anyway... she lives an hour away and she doesn't seem like she has time for a boyfriend). And we don't even talk so I would just be that classmate she knew from her old high school. Like I said before, chances are I won't see her again for yet another long time so yeah... thank you for sorting my head out in a way.

 

She is my 'ideal fantasy girl' (hell she set the standard) so I guess she'll stay that way until I meet someone 'real' like you mentioned before or I see her again, under different circumstances than when I was a shy stupid junior high schooler (Not like I'm going to wait for her, that'd be even more ridiculous wouldn't you think?). Thanks to you I don't think of her with a sort of sadness anymore - more like with a certain clarity. Cheers.

Posted
Thanks to you I don't think of her with a sort of sadness anymore - more like with a certain clarity. Cheers.

 

Glad you sorted that out in your mind -- that you can just think of her as your 'ideal fantasy girl' and that is good enough for now.

Yes, I agree that you NOT 'wait' for her at all... while its kinda nice to have the mental image in your mind of her (should you want to think of a nice girl) I think that when you do fall in love with a 'real' girl, you are not going to need that image any longer...

Perhaps this is your body's/mind's way of letting you know/prompt you to go out and hunt for/get a girl! lol

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

you are young, its all new to you.. you will deal with it in your own way :)

 

crushes are fantastic, just dont think they are such a serious thing. enjoy the feelings, and start with the basics if you wanna be with someone.

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