apple21 Posted April 16, 2009 Posted April 16, 2009 I'm in a rough spot in my relationship and I don't know what to do next. I have been with my gf for over 3 years. In February, she tells me that she doesn't know if she's in love with me anymore. I ask her at that moment if she still wants to be with me and she says yes. I knew that there were some "problems" going on in our relationship for a few months prior to that. So, I told her that I would do everything I can to fix this relationship. Before that happened, we were inseparable. We went everywhere together. But now, I feel so distant from her. We still kiss, hold hands and stuff but we don't hang out as much. She still says "I love you" but only when we say goodnight on the phone or when we say bye after hanging out. But if I text her randomly and tell her I love you, she doesn't text me back anymore. In Nov 2008, she got feelings for one of my friends and even told him that she liked him. I had to find this out from my friend. He told me in March. He also told me that he doesn't like her and told her several times that he doesn't like her. So then I confronted her about it, and she said she was sorry and cried a lot. She said she was sorry that she hurt me. I told her how upset I was about it but I told her I forgive her. But, she also told me that she still feels the same way about me but is scared to lose me. After that, things stayed the same between us. We'd hang out like 3 days a week, where before it used to be 6 or 7 days. Every time we hang out, we have fun. And when I leave after hanging out, she always walks me to the car and we kiss and sometimes even kiss passionately. But besides that, the differences in our relationship is obvious and it makes me sad. Its just not the same anymore. What I'm wondering is why is she still with me? She says she doesn't want to lose me but she's not doing anything to help get her feelings back for me. Doesn't go on dates with me. I always have to ask her to hang out, and half of the time she turns me down. And I know that the main reason she feels the way she does now is because of what happened with my friend. Which is just pathetic. We had such a beautiful relationship, and then she did that. Is she confused? Does she feel safe, knowing that I won't break up with her (I have told her several times that I know we are meant to be together) so she's not trying that hard to fix us? What should I do? I've been thinking about just telling her that I need to know if she wants to be with me, and if so, she needs to act like it. And if she can't commit to fixing things between us, then I can't be with her anymore. I'm so scared though. I don't want to break up with her. I love her. And she still hasn't broken up with me. She has even told me that on my bday, she is going to get the day off from work so that she can be with me. And thats in middle of May. So I guess she has no plans to break up with me. At least not yet. I have been depressed a lot because I feel, at times, like I have already lost her. I really believe that she thinks I would NEVER break up with her. Which is kind of true, but I feel like she is just stringing me along, kind of using me. I'm there when she needs me. I'll always say yes if she says for us to go somewhere. But when it comes to doing stuff for me, she hardly does. Any thoughts?
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