Lishy Posted April 16, 2009 Posted April 16, 2009 My cousin recently split with her boyfriend and bumped into her ex's ex girlfriend who he had a child with. This woman also had a daughter who was a teenager when my cousins ex was with her. It has come to light that her ex abused this womans daughter when he lived with her and that was why they split up. :sick: I am mortified and so is my cousin who is in pieces about this revelation. My cousin had a son and her ex was good to him and she had no clue that he had masterbated at his step daughters bedroom door and his stepdaughter had woken to him sitting on her bed stroking her arm and ran out of the room when someone was coming up the stairs. He also used to really verbally abuse this ex and call her daughter a c*nt. He did not treat my cousin this way but they did not live together. How do I help her deal with this? I have never dealt with abuse like this and have no clue on what to say except stay away from him and that it was not her fault!
TaraMaiden Posted April 16, 2009 Posted April 16, 2009 You cannot ever hope to deal with this, because as you say, you have not encountered this before. I would suggest you advise her to speak to a counsellor, or the samaritans organisation. She needs to speak to a professional to help her come to terms with this trauma effectively. of course, you want to be a good friend and be there for her to speak to. This is natural. but the best kind of help is experienced help. Encourage her to speak with somebody qualified. Do you know if his ex, and her daughter also received counselling? I'm sure they should have done.....
Author Lishy Posted April 16, 2009 Author Posted April 16, 2009 I knew this guy for years and he was lovely and never showed any signs of what he did! He fooled us all!!!
BCCA Posted April 16, 2009 Posted April 16, 2009 I knew this guy for years and he was lovely and never showed any signs of what he did! He fooled us all!!! Most people that do that kind of thing lead double lives. Watch an episode of 'to catch a predator', plenty of teachers, pastors, and otherwise normal proffesionals looking for some action with 13 year olds. Yuck! Thats a startling revelation, to say the least. Im sorry you had to find that out.
Citizen Erased Posted April 16, 2009 Posted April 16, 2009 My step-father was kind of like this guy. He used to do things like walk in on me getting changed in my room, look down my shirt etc. One time I was in my bedroom wearing only a bra and a skirt, I was moisturising or something, he walked in, sat down on my bed and started talking to me about random stuff. He got up to leave, closed the door and then came back in for another look I guess, can't recall the excuse of why. I was about 16 mind you, my own father it would have been weird. This guy it was just nasty. He'd also hug me and kind of feel me up...ugh, revolting. I never told anyone, only as I got older did I actually realise what was going on. Anyway, I'm rambling. Point is that in no way could your cousin have known. These guys know how to get away with this ****, they can fool anyone.
Author Lishy Posted April 17, 2009 Author Posted April 17, 2009 CE, you have made me feel a bit better as I felt just as fooled as my cuz! how can people do this? the kid was 13!!
Lizzie60 Posted April 17, 2009 Posted April 17, 2009 My cousin recently split with her boyfriend and bumped into her ex's ex girlfriend who he had a child with. This woman also had a daughter who was a teenager when my cousins ex was with her. It has come to light that her ex abused this womans daughter when he lived with her and that was why they split up. :sick: I am mortified and so is my cousin who is in pieces about this revelation. My cousin had a son and her ex was good to him and she had no clue that he had masterbated at his step daughters bedroom door and his stepdaughter had woken to him sitting on her bed stroking her arm and ran out of the room when someone was coming up the stairs. He also used to really verbally abuse this ex and call her daughter a c*nt. He did not treat my cousin this way but they did not live together. How do I help her deal with this? I have never dealt with abuse like this and have no clue on what to say except stay away from him and that it was not her fault! Wow.. I had a hard time figuring out who's who.. but here's the thing.. can your cousin press charges against this jerk... I really hope she does, cause he deserves to rot in prison..
Author Lishy Posted April 17, 2009 Author Posted April 17, 2009 My cousin can't as it happened to his ex before hers child and the child (who is now 17) will not tell the police and says she loves him I hate this man so much
Lizzie60 Posted April 17, 2009 Posted April 17, 2009 My cousin can't as it happened to his ex before hers child and the child (who is now 17) will not tell the police and says she loves him I hate this man so much In Canada.. they can be charged even 20 years later... I am not sure how it works in your country though... but maybe she can check with the police and see if something can be done.. This jerk should be hung by the balls..
Author Lishy Posted April 17, 2009 Author Posted April 17, 2009 Lizzie nothing can be done unless the kid is willing to tell all! I am so sickened, that man was intermingling with my family and he is a nonce! A pervert who wanks off to 13 year old kids hiding outside the bedroom door! Oh I feel ill thinking about it!
Lizzie60 Posted April 17, 2009 Posted April 17, 2009 Lizzie nothing can be done unless the kid is willing to tell all! I am so sickened, that man was intermingling with my family and he is a nonce! A pervert who wanks off to 13 year old kids hiding outside the bedroom door! Oh I feel ill thinking about it! I guess you're right.. if she totally stay mute about it.. not much anyone can do.. too bad though...
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