lando Posted April 16, 2009 Posted April 16, 2009 Yesterday I texted my girlfriend asking her to call me when she was done work. She was already at work when I texted her this (she works alot, and late into the evening). I got a reply a short while later from her saying that she would indeed call me. We exchanged a couple "cute" remarks and it was back to work for her. By now i'm quite used to getting delayed replies from her, because she's always working, and keeps her cellphone on silent. Well, anyways.. She didn't call. At first I was very patient, but by the time I went to bed, which was after midnight, it was really bugging me, and it carried over to this morning. I know it's not a big deal. I'm almost positive that she didn't intend to not call me. that she probably just forgot, which kind of is the problem. I know that if the situation were reversed, and she had wanted me to call her, I know that there is no way in the world that I wouldn't have forgotten! But I also know that I can't expect everyone to behave the same way I do, that would be silly and unrealistic. It would be nice to think though, that my girlfriend, someone who cares about me, wouldn't just forget me like that. Am I wrong to think that? I wanted to talk to her yesterday because I had some kind of important things to talk about, and i'm kind of feeling a bit let down by her. What can I do? I know that it's not a matter of whether or not she cares for me, because I know she does, but things like that are a huge pet peeve for me (where you say you'll do something and then don't follow through).
Jersey Shortie Posted April 16, 2009 Posted April 16, 2009 It's normal to feel like that and have pet peeves. You can express it to her calmly that it bothers you a bit and hopefully she can be more receptive to being a little more efficent with the phone. If it makes you feel better, I am not a phone person and texting is not something I really like. Maybe she just isn't a phone person. My lack of phone skills is not a reflection about how I feel about someone. I jsut sometimes have a wierd phone aversion.
Author lando Posted April 16, 2009 Author Posted April 16, 2009 Oh she's not a phone person. I learned very quickly to not even bother calling her, because she'll never answer it. Like I said, she always leaves her phone on silent, and she doesn't check it all to often. The majority of our communication has been through texting, but it's the same story, she doesn't check her phone too often. I'm sure it wasn't intentional. I'm sure that from her point of view, she has no idea that that kind of thing bugs me, so yeah, i'll definetely talk with her about it. We haven't been an official couple for that long, and she's only been working this new job of hers for a few weeks. Her hours are worse than ridiculous, and it takes a lot out of her, but we've talked about it, and right now it's a necessary evil for her.
Athlon Posted April 16, 2009 Posted April 16, 2009 It could be that she just dose not think that it is that big a deal, but if it bothers you then you should let her know. You dont need to make a big thing out of it but you should be able to talk about it. If you dont talk to her about it now, then eventually it could become a big thing for you that could cause you to feel resentment. If you let her know how you feel then she will probably register that it is important to you and she will do somethintg about it. The worst thing you can do is to say nothing and simply let it fester.
Author lando Posted April 16, 2009 Author Posted April 16, 2009 I completely agree, and i'm certain that is the case as well. I'm not feeling angry about it anymore, and i'm in the proper mindset to have a contructive talk about it. Trying to have talks like that while one or both parties is angry never seems to work.
TaraMaiden Posted April 16, 2009 Posted April 16, 2009 Athlon, I think you must remove the link from your signature. I think it's not permitted...... just to help....
BCCA Posted April 16, 2009 Posted April 16, 2009 Honestly, I dont care if someone isnt a 'phone person' or not, if you dont return your signifigant others phone call, thats just disrespectful. It shows very little consideration, and a simple 'hey, im exhausted, im going to bed but ill call tomorrow' text would suffice. I would politely inform your gf that you dont appreciate when she does that, and if it continues, you either have to accept it or dump her.
TaraMaiden Posted April 16, 2009 Posted April 16, 2009 You are coming up with many excuses as to why she does, or does not do, the things she does, or does not do. This is very understanding, considerate, and loving. You are making allowances. I would be willing to wager that if you were to break up with her (and I am of course, not wishing this!) you would look back and think she was rude and disrespectful. You would see things differently from a 'hurt' point of view. You see, she is taking your affection for granted. She is assuming you will be forgiving, because of course, you love her. we will forgive our loved ones anything. We will let them get away with things that for others, stretch the bounds of common courtesy. This is not right, then, I think. If she cannot respect you - her chosen partner - to be able to keep her word, then perhaps she should not give it in the first place. On the other hand, i suppose, is to ask, how much you are willing to let her get away with this? it's up to you to declare your bounds, and then ensure they are not crossed. We should all be very clear about what is ok, and what is not ok, you see.
Author lando Posted April 16, 2009 Author Posted April 16, 2009 I agree BCCA, I view that kind of thing as disrespectful as well. I'm trying to be objective and understand that not everybody thinks or behaves like me. This relationship is much different from any of my past ones. It's kind of odd. I have much more trust in this girl than I have had for anyone else, yet the communication level is much less than any of my previous relationships as well. We don't keep in touch through the day nearly as much as I have with past girlfriends. I can't say this is a bad thing per se, but it's also very strange to me too. I am very used to openly communicating, and doing so a lot more frequently then her and I have been. I would hate to think that i'm simply making excuses for her, but it's possible, because yes, I do care, and I do compromise. The thing is, Tara, is that she is neither rude nor disrespectful, to me she has been quite the opposite. Either way, there is consensus that I need to talk with her about it. I'm sure she will apologize, but the real proof will be if she makes the effort and follows through.
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