someone_here Posted April 16, 2009 Posted April 16, 2009 my BF and i had been together for 2 yrs plus.. and it has been up and down. We like and love each other a lot but in the end we broke up because he felt tired of me. He said i am too argumentative and he wants me to be more like him and to be adapt and see things as he does. I believe in God and he doesnt. He kept on saying what i believe is stupid and said that i need to be smarter and to get "educated" . I explained that i hope he could accept and respect my faith and leave it as my personal choice but he cant do it apparently.He said he doesnt feel comfortable with church , my background and feels it will influence me too much. I feel he is very opiniated and wanted me to follow his thinking. Many little things in TV or magazine can make him upset even it has nothing to do with me and if i asked him to calm down be cool abt it, he got offended and said that i have no interest on things on he cares. I explained n explained, that i just being practical on things which are necessary to bother and i am not comfortable if other things outside affects his mood and opinion abt me. He said i only care about business but in fact i am not because i am doing voluntary work for mentally disable kids every week and giving charity without expecting any business. I felt sad that he judged me that way, and i did explain that it is not true. I feel he misunderstood me. i know i have a stubborn character, and i have been really trying to change it and trying to be patient with him n others. I dont mind to change my character flaws but if i have to change all my belief and values , i feel i will be somebody else. But then in the end he said he thinks we should be friends. So i accepted even though i am sad. I accepted as a mater of respect and i thought if being with me is hurting him too much, i would let him go. I dont want to hurt him. after that i returned his keys, stuffs.. n from that moment, he kept on talking abt how he wants me to change and he is confused and he doesnt want to loose me but we should be friends. I said i gave what he asked since he wanted it. He said he doesnt know what to do but he does care abt me and still loves me. He said he missed me so much and he cried a lot infront of me. He afraid if he will loose me completely and asked me to have a break and not too see him often but as friends which can meet up now and then. At the 1st week was so hard, because many times he kept on calling and when he met me , he was treating me as how he used to, he kissed me, hugged me, and all that, the way he calls me, baby.. and all those that. I have been in a roller coaster emotion and i am confused of what he wants. He contacted me, asked me to meet up, chatted me,.said he missed me too much and he cant take it if he has too loose me forever but in the end he said he wants me to give him some space and dont see him but he wants to keep in touch. He said he is afraid if we are not meant to be together after all. i have been trying and trying to be quiet and lessen my contact and until few days ago i cried when i was in the office after he chatted with me and i felt i couldnt take it anymore. He contacted me but then he verbally rejected me, said miss me then he rejected me again then said again " please be patient with me, forgive me for my confusion". So finally i sent him an email and asked him to stop emailing or contacting me until i am ready to see him again. I asked him to let me to restart my life and asked him to respect that. I still have feeling for him. But i cant do this anymore if he is keep on hanging me like this and not knowing what he wants. I told him if one day our path crosses again, i want to be fall in love with him again, starting all over again and i hope he will be able to accept me as i am and not getting angry with me or easily get dissapointed with me when i have different ideas or opinion. i dont know if there is hope for he and i to be together.. i miss him but i think i am hurting too much now by his confusion... and i should move on. what do you think ?
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